dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety ††

[Yay inflation!

Wolfwood sighs, shaking his head a little. This guy…]

Alright, fuck it. Might as well make a night of it.

[The waiter comes back by…and Wolfwood says, without missing a beat: I’ll have what he’s having.

So, yes, Ain is going to have to tell his mom he ate four lobster tails, I’m so sorry.

Anyway!! Their order is put in and Wolfwood leans back over the table again, trying not to make it obvious he’s making eyes at Ain. They’re still in public, after all.]

So. How’s your week been?

[Did u think about him]

[Ain eating that much isn't even weird. If his brothers don't finish their dinners, it goes to Ain. And any other meal, frankly. He's like a garbage disposal. "You're gonna get fat, Ain" they say, and Ain laughs and says not if he continues to walk everywhere and go for jogs when the weather is nice and get groceries without using the car. "Your metabolism is going to slow down one day" they joke, but mom is in her fifties and she's showed no signs of that either.

Wolfwood will eventually find that Ain is a little more lithe and finely muscled than he looks. Not ripped, but not completely soft either.

Anyway, he chuckles into his glass, looking sidelong at the edge of the table.]

I told you I had dreams already, so that's half of it. We'll get into the specifics later. [He's gonna tell Wolfwood all about how much their motorcycle rides have been weighing on him. But Later.] Haha... Otherwise, I've been doing a lot of reading. I did confessions this week, too... Mm, oh, and the garden is ready for winter. I have winter crops planted, and the flowers and the other seasonal crops will be harvested and re-planted when spring comes back around. It's still autumn, but, y'know. You have to be prepared.

[Okay but what if you told him now, so what if a few hoity toity rich people overhear? Scandalize them what does he care-

He’ll wait though, if he must. Instead he just sighs to himself as he listens to Ain talk about something he loves. Wolfwood doesn’t have a green thumb to speak of, but the fact that Ain cares so much about his gardening makes him want to learn about it too. Winter crops, wow, fascinating.]

Oh yeah, you do like growin’ stuff, don’tcha? Not surprised you’re out here doin’ it all year round.

[He had no idea there were such a thing as crops that grew in the winter, lbr. But hey, he’s learning.]

You’ll have to bring me some of what you grow. If that’s okay.

Haha, okay. I have pumpkins there right now, if you want one of those. We don't... We don't celebrate Halloween where I'm from, [SATAN!!!] so we eat the pumpkin instead. There's a lot you can make with them, you know? They're good.

[And the seeds are crunchy. Munch munch munch.]

Oh, and we'll have strawberries until November! So I'll bring you a bushel of those. You have to share, though.

S’ok. Eating them is just as good.

[That is unsurprising, as religious as that area is…he doubts anyone in the entire Northside celebrates Halloween, thinking on it.]

I’m great at sharing. But ain’t you gonna already have a ton?

[Wolfwood smirks, flashing Ain one of those crooked smiles of his that he seems to only get when he’s around him.]

[Oooohhhhh he loves that stupid smile. That stupid smirk is everything to him.]

Half the reason I garden is so that I can have an excuse to eat my weight in strawberries. So no! I won't have enough, haha.

[Over winter, he has to get them at the store like some kind of loser, and they're never as good.]

There are lots of ways to eat them, so I guess... Add ice cream and chocolate to that, too.

[He can make chocolate covered strawberries because there's no cooking involved. You cover a strawberry in chocolate and put it in the fridge. That's it.]

I can think of a couple other ways to eat ‘em, too.

[Hey. Calm down.

Fortunately for both of them and Wolfwood continuing to test his boundaries, their food arrives as he’s saying this, so he has to pump the breaks anyway. Two lobster tails for each of them, served with a healthy portion of butter because why eat healthy when you’re spending over $10 on your meal?

Wolfwood whistles as he grabs his napkin and puts it in his lap, not for any fancy reason, but because he knows for a damn fact he’s going to be making a mess here.]

Hoo boy. Now that looks fine as hell.

[Ain doesn't get it. A couple other ways? Uh, yeah, fruit salads and cheesecake. Duh.

Their food has side dishes with it, green beans and potatoes, so it's not just the lobster. It had better be more than that, considering the price. Ain is bougie, but he's also someone who uses coupons. He loves his damn bookstore coupons okay.]

Haha, you'll have to tell me if you like it! This place has the best lobster in town.

[It's nothing like going to an actual coastal city and having it fresh, but hey, it's still good. Ain is already cracking right in there and stuffing his face. It takes this man zero hesitation with food. This will be gone in twenty minutes tops.]

[Listen he’s never had this much lobster at once, he wouldn’t have been surprised if they charged this much for just the lobster itself. Seems like it’d track for a lakeside seafood restaurant.

(There’s no way this lobster isn’t imported)

He tucks into his own just as quickly, though no amount of fast eating will ever beat Ain. Ain is going to be done a good five to ten minutes before Wolfwood is, let’s be honest with ourselves here.]

I bet this place has a dessert you’re gonna want too?

[He’s not judging of course, he just knows how Ain is about his sweets.

Also holy fuck this lobster is good-]

Chocolate lava cake!!

[just

Immediately comes out with that.

Yeah, he decided way ahead of time. He looks so excited bringing it up. It's NOT cheesecake this time, please praise him. It's actually something more adult than tri-coloured frozen yogurt covered in candy, too.]

Oh, or creme brulee? Maybe both!

[Ain that's like. 5000 calories right there. Are you good— are you starving to death. Blink twice if you need help.]

Both? You plannin’ on sharing?

[Signs point to no, he thinks Ain could eat both of those all by his damn self. Not that he knows where it’s all going, what the fuck!!]

[There's a reason his ass is fat, Wolfwood. You'll find out more soon—

Ain hums thoughtfully, twirls his fork around, and says in a soft but pitched tone—]

That's not very straight of you~.

[It's barely audible over someone a few tables down yelling about undercooked steak, so y'know, not worries. Ain giggles afterwards, nonplussed by the ordeal.]

Yeah, I'll share.

[Wolfwood’s brows briefly shoot past his hairline. He glances over just to make sure the other patrons didn’t hear, but…no, it’s fine. The din of the dining room was too loud for that. That little spike of anxiety is gone as quickly as it came, just as he’s shoving a piece of potato in his mouth.]

M’pretty sure I’ve made a monster…

[Ain has realized they’re both gay men and is now off the string. At least until he gets home and the weight of his sins comes crushing down on him, as it does.

Anyway though, the food is good. Amazing, actually. The lobster melts in your mouth and the veggies and potatoes compliment it perfectly. Absolutely worth the $20 something Ain is going to be paying for both of them, which is a shit ton of cash in 50s money. As they eat though, Wolfwood is…distracted. Watching Ain happily stuff his face with a little trickle of butter falling down his chin…

He snaps out of it when the waiter comes back by to refill their drinks.]

[Ain remembers to wipe his face off, at least, when the waiter comes by. Wolfwood, buddy, if butter is doing this to you...

Anyway, Ain does wind up being the first of the two to finish eating. He's pleased as punch, truly, swaying back and forth to whatever music this place has on the radio even though the words are pretty much incomprehensible over the noise. It's good. Ain has already placed an order for their aforementioned desserts, to be brought out in about twenty minutes because Wolfwood is still eating.

Meanwhile, Ain is drinking his lemonade and vibing. He's happy. The sins will kill him later, but he's happy right now. Let him have this much.]

It's a good little restaurant, right? I told you! It's not even that expensive.

[how much money do you have.]

[Listen, okay. Wolfwood hasn’t had sex in years. He’s never been in a proper relationship besides, particularly not with someone he likes as much as Ain. He can’t help but find every little thing he does alluring and suggestive, even if it’s not intended to be so.

Plus, it doesn’t help that Ain keeps alluding to those “dreams” he’s been having, as well as how riding on the bike has effected him? Like…

Woof.

Wolfwood keeps eating though, not wanting to hold them up too much just because he’s slow. He’s happy to see Ain having such a good time, though. He deserves it after the stressful time it sounds like he’s been having whenever they’ve been apart.]

It’s really nice. Though I dunno if I would call it inexpensive, exactly.

[Bro it is so expensive.]

[Enter Ain, who hasn't had sex in ever, who's nice and inexperienced and ready to be completely ruined by Wolfwood even if he doesn't know it yet. These two are a match made in hell.]

Huh? What do you mean? It's not that bad, is it?

[Ain...]

It's no family-owned diner, but... [Ain you're about to pay the 2024 equivalent of $240 for food. Hello.]

[Yeah old Woowoo here is, uh

Feeling some kind of way right now! That’s for sure.

But he is behaving. He wants to do well by Ain. He wants to treat him well, and for every first to mean something. And so far, Ain trusts him a great deal to admit to him that he thinks he might be into men. That is huge for someone who was raised like him.

He scoffs, shaking his head a little as he uses his fancy little fork to polish off the last of that second lobster tail.]

It’s pretty bad. But I wouldn’t say it ain’t worth the price, for as good as it all tastes. Plus, you’re payin’ for…what.

[He gestures vaguely with a hand.]

The ambiance? The experience? I’m just happy I’m here with you. ..hanging out.

[He adds that last part quickly, because somebody who just walked past slowed down as he said that.]

[JUST GUYS BEIN DUDES OUT HERE NOT A GAY IN SIGHT

Ain grins against the rim of his glass, takes a long drink, and then swirls the half-melted ice around.]

The ambiance and the string lights and the price of shipping lobsters. And the lake? Haha, it's a ginchy spot for a restaurant. I guess you can pay top dollar for a place that's on premium land. I won't say I understand how real estate works.

[He supposes this place has to pay its rent though.]

You like it, then! I'm glad. We can come back another time. Just give the word. ...and I think you'll really like the lava cake!

[girl he is so excited about cake.]

Oh, so you are gonna share?

[He teases, turning to his sides to finish those too. He feels like he’s going to explode, eating all of this…how the hell does Ain have room for two whole desserts after? He seriously can’t fathom it.

Well, whatever. If he’s happy, that’s all that matters. Wolfwood is just going to sit back in the booth and wait for the desserts to come while he undoes his belt a couple notches.]

Did you wanna go walking by the lake before we leave, by the way? It’s pretty cold out, but…

I said I'd be nice...

[Eyeroll, for dramatic effect. He'll share. He's a nice Ain.]

But yeah, haha, we can. If we get too cold after half a lap, we can always turn around and sprint back to the truck. Mm, besides, we need to burn off this meal somehow.

[So you admit it's a lot of food! You admit this is a ton of fucking food, Ain!!

Oh well. He's happy. He'll take a walk and do some stretches and they'll head back to the car. It's romantic.]

By the way, as far as the waiter knows, you're the one with the lava cake. Don't be shocked when it ends up in front of you!

[If they're sharing, it's easier for them to have one each, and then sometimes coyly stick their spoons across the table like oooh, teehee, heehee, I'm stealing your foooood.]

Oooh, I see how it is. Fine by me.

[At least the waiter won’t come by looking at Ain like an alien for ordering so much dessert. Good lord.

He’s tentatively looking forward to their stroll around the lake, actually. Though there will likely be lots of other couples doing the same, so they won’t be able to really get close…it’ll still be nice. They’ll have some semblance of privacy, so long as they don’t walk too close to anyone else.

Anyway! The desserts come shortly after alongside their check, and since the lava cake has been ordered as “his”, Wolfwood wastes no time digging his spoon into it. As expected, the warm chocolate comes oozing from the middle once Wolfwood breaks into it, prompting a low, impressed sound from him as he swipes the cake through a bit of the chocolate as it oozes onto the plate.]

So that’s why they call it lava, huh?

[Oh god, he is so full. But he’s eating it anyway, a tiny bit…oh god it’s SO RICH but so good at the same time, he is going to die.]

How’s yours?

Wait, have you never had a lava cake before? [Ain says this as he's tucking bills into the server wallet, a whole $20 plus tip... he's feeling nice since the waiter was so prompt and this place is packed, so he drops $10 in there as a tip. Ain doesn't realise that half the promptness was likely due to Wolfwood's mafia adornments. You're not gonna be the one to keep the damn mafia waiting on their food, are you?] Out of curiosity, what did you think it was until now?

[Please say "cake shaped like a volcano", Ain will die laughing on the spot.

Anyway, he does the thing you do with crème brûlée where you crack it with the side of your spoon first, determines that that's the Good Crunch™, and digs in. It's also very rich, lighter than the lava cake for sure, but still very sweet in a way that shouldn't be palatable with fucking lemonade.]

It's yummy!

[And then he reaches his spoon over to the lava cake to try that. It looks very touristy in a way — you know how tourists are, trying all the food they can without reservation.]

A cake shaped like a volcano?

[Literally what else would it be Ain come on-

He doesn’t mind Ain stealing bites of his (their) cake, though. He’ll just have to reach over and steal a bite of his own, though, because he for SURE hasn’t had creme brulee. That’s some real fancy shit.]

…oh, shit, that is really good.

[Steals another bite-]

[...yep, Ain thought so, and he immediately starts laughing right on cue, having to cover his mouth with his hand so he's not too loud. The laughter melts off into little snort-giggles soon after. Ah...

God. For someone who dresses like a punk and doesn't know how to wear a shirt that covers his chest, Wolfwood sure is cute.]

Aww, I'd love to see a cake shaped like a volcano! It sounds fun. They can put little fondant dinosaurs on it.

[Okay Ain is thinking more "prehistoric" and not like, Actual Legitimate Volcanoes here, but that's fine. He's going to have to ask Wolfwood if he believes in dinosaurs later. Ain had such a strict upbringing that he's not entirely sure either way yet.]

[Oh. Ohhhhh no. Oh….oh no his laugh. That was so cute? That was SO fucking cute…

Okay note to self, if they last long enough? Get Ain a cake shaped like a volcano with little dinosaurs on it for his birthday. An actual chocolate lava cake. He’s fucking doing this watch him Ain’s birthday is in December right, he can do this-

Wolfwood chuckles as Ain dissolves into those snorting giggles, returning to his cake for another bite. Ourgh. Urgh. He might have to bring the rest of this home, assuming Ain doesn’t just help him finish it straight up.]

That does sound like something you’d come up with.

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