dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety ††

[...]

Huh? You found it?! It's been a month, though!

[Nothing serves to distract like having his wallet back, that's for sure. Ain takes it and flips through it. It's definitely his; this is his shade of green, that's a familiar silver cross logo on the front, and those sure are his (almost expired) (he's got like two days left on these bad boys) coupons in here. Yep, tracks.]

How did you know it was mine? ...lucky guess?

Oh, I dunno. The green, the cross, the gardening magazine clippings…but sure, let’s call it a lucky guess.

[Wolfwood smirks, leaning forward at the waist. Ain may have noticed that he’s wearing the blazer they met in originally, with the same crosses on the sleeves and everything. It seems to be one of his fancier outfits compared to the leather.

Even if…it means his chest is exposed…oh boy. At least that cross is laying between his pecs? That has to count for something.]

S’long as I’m with you it won’t get swiped again, don’t worry. Anyway, ready to head out? I’m starving, dunno about you.

[He seems…in an unusually good mood, being with Ain again.]

[Ain wants to playfully cuff his arm or something, but... but no. No, he has to say something. Get it off his chest while he's staring at Wolfwood's. He's not going to say "hey I've been getting off to you FYI" because that's weird, is that weird? Is it weird to do that? He doesn't know, anyway, he's not doing it. He is gonna frown and put his wallet in his cardigan pocket. The greens match each other nearly exactly.

He takes a breath.]

Wait. I... I want to tell you something. You probably won't like it, but I'll forgive you if you don't. Um, but I... I think...

[He fidgets, pulling at his sleeves in that familiar way he does. His eyes snap to the ground, and his voice lowers so that only Wolfwood can hear.]

I think I might... like... men. Other men. I mean— I'm keen on them.

[Well, he's keen on Wolfwood, but he can't just say that. If this admission doesn't get him murdered on sight, that one would. Or so Ain thinks, anyway.]

I know you don't want to hear that from someone you're friends with, so I wanted to tell you before you wasted any more time with me. I'm sorry. I only just figured it out, or I would've said something sooner.

[Wolfwood’s smile falters. His expression shifts into something that’s…difficult to discern as he stands there almost dumbfounded, and, from Ain’s perspective?

It probably looks bad. Really bad.

Even worse when Wolfwood suddenly takes his arm with a weird sense of urgency, even though Ain was whispering and only they two could have possibly heard.]

…get in the car. We can talk about it more in there.

[To Ain, this probably sounds like he’s about to get murdered in his crush’s car. But in reality, this is NOT a conversation they should be having in the open, nor is it one Wolfwood wants to have beyond the tinted windows of his truck (tinted because he’s mafia).

In reality, his heart feels like it might explode. He’s..dizzy with relief. Giddy. Ecstatic. Nervous.

Dear god please help him.]

[Ain supposes if he dies, he dies! And no one will find his body because Wolfwood will give him cement shoes and then the fish will eat his corpse and in 100 years some true crime person on the future YouTubes will be like "THE UNSOLVED CASE OF ISHMAEL'S MISSING SON" or something, and it'll be sad and tragic and Ain will be in Hell being tortured while some guy makes sponsorship money off of his dried bones.

He looks uncomfortable at the suggestion, but he gets in the truck anyway, staying Very Close to the door just in case Wolfwood thinks to pull out a gun and splatter his brains all over the glass. It's shut, of course, but Ain's got his hand near the handle like he might attempt an escape if things go south.]

Please don't murder me. Or if you do, let me go back home and say bye to my family first?

[Ain, honey, what the fuck—]

[They’re in the car. The doors are shut, but not locked. Wolfwood opens his mouth to speak, and-]

…what? Murder you?

[Wolfwood exhales on a laugh. It’s fond, and gentle. He? Wants to hold him? He wants to drag him into his lap and tell him it’s okay to be gay, but he doesn’t want to scare him either. Never mind the fact Wolfwood has his own hang uses about it to the point where he’s not sure he’d even believe his own advice…

Okay. Let’s start small.]

Ain. It’s okay.

[He sits back in his seat, sighing. It’s nice and private in the car, at least.]

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought you were this whole time. I just figured you were super closeted.

[...he what—]

Wait. You knew? The whole time? And you didn't tell me? [Ain, you can't just call people fairies, that starts fights.] I— was it obvious?

[Ain you FELT HIM UP???]

I am super closeted! [AIN] I'm telling you because— [because he's been having sinful, terrible thoughts] —because you're my friend, and who wants to be friends with someone like that?! I haven't told anybody else. I just barely figured it out! I was raised really— really religiously, you know! We don't just do that Northside!

[The anxiety is approaching. The anxiety is going to kill him. The anxiety wants him to die—]

[Oh my god Ain please don’t die before he can kiss you, hold up-]

Wait, wait- Angel, breathe.

[Wolfwood reaches out and puts a tentative hand on Ain’s shoulder, not wanting him to hyperventilate with how fast he’s trying to explain himself. Meanwhile, he’s over here feeling a little guilty over how relieved he is, like holy shit. He’s gay. He’s actually realized he’s gay. Which means…

Maybe…he has a shot. Just maybe…

He swallows thickly, realizes he just dropped a pet name on him, and quickly retrieves his hand, face flushing.]

It ain’t like I knew for sure or nothin’. But you kinda…some things…I dunno. Had me wondering.

[It was, unfortunately for Ain, more than just being felt up. Way more. And now?

He isn’t sure how much more he can take. It’s like having a whole cake put in front of him and being told he can’t eat any.

Wolfwood looks over his shoulder, into his back seat. It’s a little messy. One of his spare jackets is thrown over the seat, there are some boxes and crap on the floor. He tries to keep his cigarette butts in the holder, but they do inevitably fall out. Back there though…the windows are tinted near black, as dark as he can legally get away with. It’s not so dark in the front seat.

…]

Hey. Let’s uh…let’s get in the back for a minute.

[And do WHAT- oh he’s already getting out of the car.]

["Angel"... God, don't do that to his heart, he's already got feelings for you, just a little crush he's nursing. (Do little crushes make you get off to the guy?)

Ain takes a breath, fisting his hands up in his cardigan, and then thinks. Was it the Audrey Hepburn thing? It had to be that. Oh God, he needs to stop saying that to people. ...and Wolfwood is gone, okay, he's getting in the back. Why? Why are they getting in the back...

He follows, of course, scrambling out of the front and into the back seat and slamming the door before anyone can notice them playing switcheroo here. It's a mess back here, and Ain manoeuvres carefully over boxes and the sort, mindful of where his feet land, until he can get comfortable.]

...okay. We're in the back.

[They’re in the back now, and Wolfwood is realizing he hasn’t thought this through. Just because Ain has admitted to being gay doesn’t mean it has anything to do with him. It’s narcissistic and insane to think otherwise.

But, god, maybe he’s willing to take that chance to see. Maybe he’s okay with potentially ruining a friendship because he wants this so badly. Ain was brave enough to admit to liking men to begin with, it’s not…that much different, right?

Ugh. Wolfwood can’t meet his gaze for a moment, kicking boxes under the seat so there’s more room. Don’t panic. Just calm down. It’s going to be okay.

What if it’s not. What if Ain hates it? Hates him? What if he slaps him and leaves and slams the door in his face? What if-]

A-Ain.

[Smooth. Wolfwood clears his throat, turning to face Ain in the seat beside him. His heart feels like he’s going to explode. He wants this so bad. Wants HIM so bad. He…

He……

He leans in, and he presses a chaste, single kiss to Ain’s lips. It lasts for barely a second, long enough for him to breathe in the scent of nicotine.]

[AHDKFLJDLFKJ—

Says Ain's brain, eloquently, as Wolfwood presses their lips together and Ain's entire gay brain stomps the gas pedal like hold on hold on hold on, you're dreaming right now wake up bitch, none of this is real!! You're in a coma! You died!!

Ain literally pinches his side to wake himself up. That does not work, and he sputters, nervous, cheeks helplessly red. Um. Uh. He, uh—]

Y-you— you also like boys?

[.......honey.]

[Congrats, Ain! You’re awake! This is really happening! You are somehow clairvoyant and about to fucking neck with your nebulous crush in the back of his Toyota-

Wolfwood, meanwhile, is ready to take his licks. He’s sitting there prepared for basically anything at this point as he nods slowly, once.]

…yeah. Have for a while.

Oh.

["Oh" because that's bad. Wolfwood was supposed to reject him and call him slurs and make him regret being alive so he could straighten Ain out, kind of in a literal sense. There's no greater wakeup call than your first crush basically calling you every name in the book and telling you to go die. That would've fixed him! Then Ain would be a sinless woerm...

..."oh", because he's tempted, so tempted, to fall into Wolfwood's arms and let all his nasty fantasies come to life. God still has not answered his prayers and said "you're okay my child, just stop getting off to that delinquent". Who has been there for him other than Wolfwood? It won't be his family. His mom will skin him. His brothers will probably kick him to death. He'll go down in the books as just another hate crime.

Ain closes his eyes briefly and bonks their foreheads together. Wolfwood tastes like nicotine, like he expected he would, and it briefly lingers on his lips. He is super going to Hell. They're both going to Hell. Maybe they're already in it.]

In that case, kiss me again. I wanna see something.

[Oh, he says. Is that…a good “Oh”? Or a bad one? He honestly can’t tell initially, looking back at Ain with his brow furrowed and feeling unusually vulnerable all of a sudden. Ain was the one who was admitting to being gay, so why is he feeling like he’s on the chopping block all of a sudden…?

He swallows again past the dryness of his mouth, wanting…to put his hands on Ain, but refraining for the time being. I wanna see something could mean anything. It could be good, it could be Ain wanting him in close so he can give him a proper wallop for kissing without asking.

…]

Alright…

[He isn’t going to ask. He’s just going to go for it now that they’re forehead-to-forehead, like…as if he would pass up this opportunity. Fuck no.

He is kissing Ain again. Just like before, albeit…there’s definitely a questioning moment of lingering, this time around.]

[Wolfwood will get like, ten seconds of kiss before Ain starts fucking giggling against his lips. It's a sweet, childish giggle. A bit naive, maybe, and definitely enthused.]

You taste like I thought you would.

[AINCHASE ISHMAEL—]

Wh- Ain-

[Wolfwood…snorts, sputtering against Ain’s lips at the way he just starts giggling like this is the funniest thing he’s ever had happen to him. It breaks the tension easily, if nothing else, leaving Wolfwood sort of sitting there helplessly, his face and ears as red as ever.

Mostly because…]

You been thinkin’ about kissin’ me…?

Mm... more like dreaming? Haha... I think you giving me your coat that one time triggered something in me. Like a sleeper agent. But I thought you were straight this whole time, and I was scared to act on it.

[He still feels sick, in many ways. Sick and filthy and like he shouldn't have this, because it's wrong, it's shameful... but there's a weight off his chest, too, and at the same time he feels disgusting, he feels like he's finally puzzled together everything that was bothering him before. Why the world was black and white and dreary. Why Wolfwood made it feel so colourful.

For now, Ain isn't having a sobbing fit. Maybe when he gets home. For now, the world almost feels correct, finally.]

I was upset last week because I wanted you to touch me more, but I was still scared then, too, which is sort of why I left in a huff. Granted, it took me the entire week to figure that out, but... hindsight is 20/20. Isn't that how it goes?

[He was upset because Wolfwood didn’t touch him more? Hello??? He is going to jump into the sea, what the fuck. He could have been having this the whole time. Never mind that though, Ain admitting to having dreams about him is making Wolfwood feel some kind of way for sure. Ain is damn lucky he has the restraint to not drag him into his lap right fucking now, but still…

He’s back in Ain’s space again in short order, and this time? He’s reaching a hand up, not to ruffle his hair, but…to actually caress his cheek, cupping the side of his face in his palm as he brushes his thumb over Ain’s cheekbone.

Eat your heart out, Ain. You’ve opened a Pandora’s box you’ll never be able to close again.]

…let me tell you something. You stick with me, this evening? And I’ll show you more. As much as you want.

[Their foreheads still together makes for the perfect opportunity to brush their noses together in a way that is excessively fond, speaking to Wolfwood’s own feelings he hasn’t yet had a chance to properly express.]

I know…it’s a lot. And you’re probably scared. But I promise you ain’t alone. Okay? [Nuzzle nuzzle.] If…if you’ll have me? I’d like to take you to dinner.

[The implication there is implicit. It’s not just as friends, not anymore.]

[Show him more what.

Ain's entire brain is :D?? right now, but that's fine. Wolfwood's gonna show him something. He has no idea what it is, but he's along for the ride, and that's for the best. Ain likes (good) surprises! This sounds like surprises. So, he giggles at the admission, and the question, and the way their noses brush together. Get used to those giggles, Wolfwood, they're going to be the Rest of your life.]

Haha, okay~. ...wait! I'm supposed to be taking you to dinner! [oh my god] You're not allowed to pay this time!

Right, right…I won’t. You can pay.

[He even brought you your wallet back and everything (moneyless)!

So, yeah. Assuming Ain doesn’t get cold feet, or they aren’t out so late that he runs into Ain’s presumed curfew he keeps imagining him having, well…Wolfwood might be able to show him more than a thing or two.

Which. Speaking of…he’s still gently cupping his face, stroking the longer hair that’s falling along the side of it.]

Before that…

[Instead of asking, Wolfwood pulls Ain in for another kiss. Except this time, it is a kiss true and proper, lingering as he tilts his head a bit to let their lips meld more seamlessly together.

Ain’s brain will have a proper frame of reference for that necking, now.]

[So this is what real kisses feel like! Maybe he'll start to feel sensations in his dreams finally. That'll really ruin him (and more pairs of underwear, definitely).

They kiss, and Ain leans into it, eager and wanting and so damn happy to finally have solved the "why don't I fit in" puzzle. Scared of the answer as much as he is grateful, too. But that's fine. Wolfwood is treating him well, like he's something special worth protecting, and that's probably why Ain finds it so easy to fall into his arms.

He's never kissed anybody before. It probably shows in the clumsy way he moves his lips against Wolfwood's. Surely Wolfwood can tell, Ain thinks, because he clearly has more experience. When they part, he ducks in and steals another kiss, quick and sweet.]

I didn't think tough guys like you could be cute. Silly me~.

[It’s clumsy and sloppy for sure, but does Wolfwood give a damn? Fuck no. He’s kissing his crush in the backseat of his own car, this is just as much like a dream to him as it must be for Ain right now. And the best/worst part is that they’re technically in public too, it’s just that nobody on the outside knows there are two gays kissing in this car.]

Ha…just for you, Angel.

[Wolfwood chuckles, tilting his head so he can press a kiss to Ain’s cheek, next.]

Listen, uh…we’ve got time, if you wanna just keep neckin’ back here for a while before we go. I sure wouldn’t complain.

[Don't say you had a dream about this don't say you had a dream about this don't say—]

Haha, just like in a dream I had about you...

[motherFUCKER]

—I've never done something like this, though. Go a little easy on me. And... and put your expectations on the floor, okay? And then bury them.

Ohoh…you’ve been dreamin’ about me too?

[He rumbles in the space between them, and…well. Since there’s nothing stopping him, no seatbelts or any foreign objects separating him from Ain…Wolfwood is going to indulge a little, alright. Not enough to upset him of course, or scare him off, but…

Well. Remember that dream you had where Wolfwood placed his hands on your hips, Ain? WELL…..

That’s where they’ve ended up now as he presses his lips to Ain’s in another brief, chaste kiss. A smooch on the lips. Then another…and another still. It’s all very casual and lazy for the most part, knowing that if he were to slip Ain tongue now when he’s barely been kissed ever in his life, he’d probably pass out.

Wolfwood rolled a high 16 however, which means he’s going to be a little brave in a different way. That is…he’ll break their kiss, only to kiss Ain’s cheek. Then his jaw. Then…down to the side of his neck. He won’t kiss him any lower than that, but he sure is smooching him gently on one of his most sensitive areas now, humming softly under his breath all while very gently rubbing his thumbs over the curve of Ain’s hips.

He may never get the sound of Wolfwood’s lips softly kissing his neck out of his head for as long as he lives.]

[He sure will not. He's going to hear it when he goes to sleep tonight. It's gonna be bad. He's going to wake up sweating again.

For now, though? Ain is content to keep kissing like this. Little kisses, slow and nice, easy to follow. Wolfwood kisses his cheek, and he giggles. Wolfwood's hands are on his hips, and Ain squirms gently in the hold, not to break it but because it sure is a lot different than he thought it would be, and maybe Wolfwood will be able to feel how sharp his hip bones are through his sweater. He got a glimpse of the freckles on them last week. Let this add to the chaos.

Then, when Wolfwood goes lower, to his neck, Ain makes a sharp little gasp before exhaling a soft, contented noise. Oh God. That spot is sensitive, and all Ain can really do to show how much he's loving it is run a hand back through Wolfwood's hair to encourage more of it. He might have to pull aside the high collar of Ain's turtleneck if he wants to go much lower, but Ain sure won't stop him.

...it does make him squirm a bit more, though.]

Tickles...

[His skin is rapidly heating up under Wolfwood's lips. The guy might even feel Ain's pulse fluttering, too. Gotta be gentle with this one.]

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