[Ain is... so sad. He is so sad hearing that, not because it wasn't what he wanted to hear, but because it only ever comes out when Wolfwood is incoherent and intoxicated and not entirely with it. He recalls the night in the caravan where Wolfwood was being incredibly jumpy around Ain in general. And, yeah, they had sex and it was all consensual and they both enjoyed it, but then — fault of Ain, definitely — it was awkward the entire way to town. They weren't speaking because Ain couldn't muster the words.
And now that he's mustered them, this is truly the worst possible outcome. Wolfwood won't say these things when he's sober. Wolfwood won't be saying anything sweet or romantic or, fuck it, remotely like "I want to keep you" when he's aware of his actions. It makes Ain feel gross.
Unfortunately for Ain, he is also his own worst enemy, and he's so desperate for the thought of love and affection and maybe Wolfwood getting over himself that he's wiling to stick this through in all the wrong ways. He feels sick all of a sudden, but he's also stupid and horny and his (w)hor(e)mones are all over the place. God dammit, he can't just leave, he has Feelings that he doesn't want to think about.
He is still so, so sad though. But instead of focusing on the negatives (he's unloveable, he can only be loved through some straight guy who gets drunk enough to like men, the only person who's ever seen something in him has also been this guy, he doesn't deserve good things) he simply gets up on his elbows and then balances awkwardly on one side to plap Wolfwood on the cheek with the other hand.]
Don't you fall asleep on me yet! You still haven't touched me as much as I want you to, and I still have plans to ride you, you know!!
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-05-26 05:48 am (UTC)And now that he's mustered them, this is truly the worst possible outcome. Wolfwood won't say these things when he's sober. Wolfwood won't be saying anything sweet or romantic or, fuck it, remotely like "I want to keep you" when he's aware of his actions. It makes Ain feel gross.
Unfortunately for Ain, he is also his own worst enemy, and he's so desperate for the thought of love and affection and maybe Wolfwood getting over himself that he's wiling to stick this through in all the wrong ways. He feels sick all of a sudden, but he's also stupid and horny and his (w)hor(e)mones are all over the place. God dammit, he can't just leave, he has Feelings that he doesn't want to think about.
He is still so, so sad though. But instead of focusing on the negatives (he's unloveable, he can only be loved through some straight guy who gets drunk enough to like men, the only person who's ever seen something in him has also been this guy, he doesn't deserve good things) he simply gets up on his elbows and then balances awkwardly on one side to plap Wolfwood on the cheek with the other hand.]
Don't you fall asleep on me yet! You still haven't touched me as much as I want you to, and I still have plans to ride you, you know!!