dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

Yeah, exactly. Plus it's one more mouth to feed. Ah, well, I'll live. Wandering is more fun.

[One day, Ain, you're going to settle down and be like wow... I was wild... I was a wild child... don't arrest me officer I'm a changed man.]

I don't have to pay to own property, so I think I'm winning. I can buy as many pretty clothes as I want and sell off anything that I'm tired of~.

[Ain has been known to cycle through clothes relatively fast since he's outside all the time, the wear and tear gets to be a lot. Some of that fabric will get converted to bandages if he's on the road and gets badly injured, which also has happened... this is why he's strapped at all moments.]

Yeah, I ain’t sure I’d want my own property either. It’s hard enough to get it in these parts, and then you’d be spending your life savings on a hunk of dirt that don’t even have a building to live in on it.

[They’re in western times. If you want a house, you build it, or you hire someone to build it. Not much is pre built in this day and age, so if you want to buy something already there you’d be spending even more money. More than Wolfwood thinks he’s seen in his lifetime, or ever will see.

Trit trot, they continue forward. Angelina has never been this close to cactus before. Wolfwood clicks his tongue again when she starts sneaking towards them.]

Oi. Leave it, Ange.

Y'aaaaaaaall!! [Ain squeaks,] You can't eat cacti! They're not food!

[Well, technically they are, but is he going to explain technicalities to two horses? No, they don't care, they are not listening. They are two horses. Ain is steering Elria away from the saguaros as they head up a slight incline, leaning back against Wolfwood's chest like he's a chair. He could be, if he wanted to be, Ain would not say no.]

You act like we don't feed you. I know both of us feed you because of how much hay is missing from the troughs whenever either of us are stopped somewhere!

[Elria indignantly tosses her head. She is Not fat she is Baby!!]

[Oh. That “Ya’ll”….cute…

While Wolfwood is swooning, I mean distracted, Angelina snorts. You’re not her dad, Ain, you can’t tell her what to do.

…she looks at Elria with big eyes. She’s the bigger and probably older one. Are we eating the cacti-]

[We are eating the cacti my brethren.

Trot trot UNHINGES JAW—]

ELRIA!!!! Not food!!!

[Wow okay good to know their horses are assholes-]

OI!! Angelina!! Don’t eat that-!

[No father. They will eat cactus. Angelina is going to copy Elria and happily walk right over to the saguaro to take a big ol bite out of the top of it.

And it IS edible. It’s juicy and tasty!! The needles that immediately stab her velvet nose are less tasty as she rears back with a startled whinny.]

[Ain is scrambling down from Elria's back just as she also takes a fuckin bite. She, however, is immune to the cactus needles jabbing her in the nose.

What she is not immune to is Ain sharply yanking her bridle and steering her away, then lowering her head so he can fuss over the few that actually got into her nose. Ohhh my god. He is also unafraid to just dig in her mouth and pull out any other needles from there, which is probably why she thinks she can do this. Most of those needles have been pulverized by her teeth, but it's not like Ain wants her to have one stuck in her throat?? These two are lucky they ate from a part of the cactus where the needles weren't fully grown in yet.

He's just. Sighing. Turning to Angelina and doing the exact same thing. Open your mouth why are you both dogs.]

Careful, she might-

[Wolfwood starts when he sees Ain going for Angelina's mouth, watching the telltale way her ears swivel backwards. He's holding onto Elria's reigns while he's on the ground, trying to keep her head angled away from the cactus because she probably WILL eat more if not watched.

...only to watch as Angelina huffs, but allows Ain to pull the needles from her nose and mouth, even though she'll jerk her head away whenever he pulls one out.]

...bite.

Hm? Does she bite?

[Ain is the horse whisperer you see. Angelina is young and unruly, but it's fine, he isn't having any issues with her! He's just waiting until she's willing to open her mouth again and taking the needles out that way. The ones in her nose, too.

Good as new. Kisses her nose.

Wipes his fucking slobbery-ass hand off on a handkerchief.]

What have we learned here today? [He says, dramatically, to two horses.] Don't eat the cacti. They have spikes. Just because you see birds doing it, doesn't mean it's for horses!

[And he is getting back on his horse now thank you.]

[...what the hell, Angelina? You would have bitten every single one of his fingers off for trying that, and you let Ain just stick his whole hands into your mouth, no problem?

What the fuck.

Wolfwood watches, a little bewildered, as Angelina sticks her tongue out a couple times to get rid of the rest of that stinging prickly feeling on it. She wants more cactus...but not enough to get more needles in her mouth. Sad. :(]

I'm surprised she didn't eat your hands.

Does she usually? Haha, I dunno, I've always been really good with animals, so maybe that's why?

[Taking the reins... he's going to steer Elria through the saguaros and make sure she doesn't go munchin' again. Up that little incline they go, up until the ground flattens out. There's a stretch of grass before them that they can go through, and Ain steers them out that way. The fence line on the opposite end of the acreage hasn't come into view yet...

But the cacti up here are in bloom, all pinks and reds and smelling sweet, and isn't that a lovely sight out here where everything is mostly just browns and oranges?]

If she's feelin' feisty, yeah. Or if she thinks you're tryin' to stop her from doin' somethin' she wants to do.

[She is much like a toddler in that way.

...anyway will Ain stop her if she tries to eat one of the blossoms off the cacti-]

...it is real pretty out here. I'm used to just seein' flat land everywhere.

I bet the mountains themselves are real pretty. I've never gotten to go. I tend to stick near where the towns are, but...

[He hums, thoughtful, as he leans back into Wolfwood. He won't stop either horse from eating the blossoms because there are no spikes but my god if he catches y'all slippin—]

I think there's a mountain town somewhere up there, if the map I have is correct. I bet it's cute! And I bet it's really rough when it snows.

[The mountains do not care if you're in a desert. It is now a Cold Desert and you will fucking suffer.]

A mountain town, huh. If it does snow there, I don't think I'd mind it. I'd prefer freezin' my ass off to bein' hot.

[At least you can wrap up when it gets cold. You can only remove so many layers when you get hot.

Anyway Angelina WILL snack on the blossoms since she was denied the cactus, thanks. She's behaving for now...but if Elria slips, so will she.

Also, Jesus, Ain. You're leaning into him so much. It's making it hard for Wolfwood to forget that they're pressed up against each other like they are. He has to just......not think about it too hard. It's fine.]

[Wolfwood is a backrest though :/ ]

Me too. The sun is good and nice, but I'd like a breeze to blow through my hair that doesn't make me want to die.

[Hot breezes... are not fun. Like thanks for that bestie.]

I don't know how long I'd be able to stay. [More because of the Crime stuff and not because he's like, not enthralled with the idea of just being a hermit in the fucking mountains.] But it seems nice to visit. I've heard that mountains have hot springs!

[He wants to go to a hot spring :( ]

So why don'tcha go sometime? If you're already wanderin', ain't like nothin' can stop you.

[Wolfwood, in contrast, still has a job he has to do so he can't spend too much of his time slacking off. This he considers relevant since he's with his target, he is getting his guard down...so it's fine. It's not really slacking off in that regard.]

Plus it's prolly like, deserted up there. You wouldn't be bothered by as many people as down in this town.

[Wolfwood is "doing his job" and Ain is happily chirping about how much he wants to see the world while not actually seeing said world.

The fence line comes into view finally, and the mountains are still so far away. Ain pulls right up to the edge of the fence, turning Elria slightly to the side so that he can see more clearly.]

Do you see how far away they are? It's probably another thousand miles. [Probably half of that, actually, but Ain isn't good at judging distances that large.] I'd have to get rations and a wagon... Just 'cause she's bred to be a draft horse, doesn't mean it'll be an easy trip.

[Honestly, she's literally bred for the job, she'll probably just be like okei and do it.]

There are a few towns between there and here, and maybe I wouldn't need the wagon, but I dunno. It's a lot of planning... It's a big journey. I've only ever gone on a bunch of little ones.

[Wolfwood, continuing to forget his job entails bringing Ain in and not encouraging him to run off to the mountains which are thousands of miles away-]

So? If you wanna do somethin', you gotta just do it. "I've only ever done small trips" ain't an excuse. Otherwise you'd never go on that first really long trip, you feel me?

[It wouldn't be easy, yeah, but it sounds like Ain makes decent enough money whoring himself out that he should be fine. He could keep doing that on his trip too, so it's not like he'd run out of money unless the towns were completely devoid of people.]

[Wolfwood sweetie why are you encouraging the target to fucking LEAVE????]

Hm... Haha, I guess so. You're wiser than you look, aren't you?

[You're right Wolfwood! He should go into the mountains and get lost and never be brought back :) Not like Wolfwood's gang isn't gonna try to follow after at some point or anything like that.]

I'll think about it at the next town, then! [Wheels around, gives Wolfwood a lil cheek kiss.] Thanks, love.

[He doesn't know :( he's gay and has no braincells left.]

Uh-

[Wolfwood starts to retort, like wait uh he didn't mean like NOW, but then Ain is kissing his cheek and oops he's been short circuited. You've broken your straight boy, Ain.]

H-hang on a sec. When are you plannin' on goin' to the next town anyway? Didn't you just get to this one?

Mm... tomorrow? Haha...

[Oh no his straight boy! Anyway.]

...I don't stick around for long. Neither do you, it sounds like. Looks like we're gonna be two ships passing in the night, doesn't it?

[Sorry Wolfwood, your gay boy has to leave.]

I'd be heading thataway, [and he points off west, you know, toward the mountains but not reaaaaaaaally 'cause there's another town out there he was going to stop at, but it's On The Way,] or at least, that's the plan. Mm... I could probably stick around for another day or two, but no more than that. I don't have a permanent residence. I'm shacked up in an abandoned shed right now.

[Uhhh no. Nooo no, no that isn't going to work. He can't have Ain running off, he needs to stay in town! Fuck, what did he have to go and say that for?]

Oh, uh. Sure...that makes sense.

[Think, use that stupid meat brain of yours.]

But uh, actually...I might be headed in the same direction, yaknow? Coincidentally.

[Smooth]

[...smooth, yeah, that's what they call that. Ain giggles, steering Elria forward to walk along the outer ring of the pasture for a while. It's nice and grassy over here, mostly because it seems like no one who takes their horses over here goes out this far, at least not for very long. There are yucca, and more cacti, and a whole shitton of bugs.

Ain thinks he sees a tarantula hawk. Eugh. Let's not piss that off.]

Oh? [His tone betrays that he's sort of Onto Wolfwood, but not in the way he should be. He thinks his straight boy is just trying to follow after for innocent reasons.] When are you leaving, baby?

[Is there a way he can answer this without sounding like a complete freak? Probably not, but he's already dug the hole too deep, so he may as well pitch himself face first into it. Angelina, meanwhile, is still happily trotting along at Elria's side because her master being stupid means she gets to hang out with her new friend more.]

Probl'y tomorrow. [SMOOTH] Or the next day. We'll see.

[Wolfwood honey you look like a pining teenage boy like this. You are so so so cute. Ain can't keep this man's wallet if he's gonna wind up keeping the man though, hm...]

Should I wait for you? Are you gonna keep me all safe from those pesky thieves on the road?

[Ain, YOU are the pesky thief.]

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