dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[ITS NOT HIS MONEY- but fine. He is no stranger to theft, and using someone else’s I’ll gotten gains…so whatever. It’s a dog eat dog world and who is he to judge when he, too, is a criminal?

That doesn’t mean he has any more idea of what to even buy, but you know. He’ll just stand here awkwardly in front of the clothing and stare at it. Can’t he just get another jacket that looks exactly like the one he’s wearing-]

Everything here is so damn fancy.

[He mumbles to himself, eyeing a jacket with tassels on it. It’s very cowboy.]

[Ain is already flitting off to go grab various jackets of said tasselled style because he thinks they're cute, he thinks Wolfwood would look so adorable in one, and then he comes back holding three of them and sets them in Wolfwood's arms.]

Which one do you like better? I like this black one with the silver buttons on the pockets, personally. I think it matches your style. But I also like this one with the orange detailing over the chest here.

[Squints.]

Actually, I don't like the orange, I lied. Give me that one back. The other one is just plain black, though.

[Wolfwood is so inept with fashion it’s a good thing Ain is here. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing ever, so he takes the blazer he recommends, then swaps it for the other one because orange is bad. Ain, please-]

As long as it functions and the pockets ain’t stupid, I don’t care what it looks like.

[He mutters, shrugging off his old jacket and hanging it on something nearby so he can try on the new one. It has that stiffness of not being properly broken in yet that bothers him, but that’s kindof par the course for new duds. Probably why he doesn’t buy them much other than the fact he has no money-]

Ok. How’s it look?

Oooh!

[Ain claps his hands together, then struts over after putting back the ugly jacket. Hands smooth over the silver embroidery and the buttons, and then he playfully whaps at the tassels like a cat.]

I like it! It looks fetching on you.

[The store clerk like aww look at the young couple good thing that man's got a lass to keep him fashionable, meanwhile Ain is thinking about how nice Wolfwood's tits are gonna look in this.]

If you leave it open like this... [Tugging at the collar,] you can show off the rosary, and...

[Pinches a titty. :) ]

O-oi…

[Wolfwood gasps a little under his breath at that pinch, causing him to reflexively reach up to take Ain’s hand. He doesn’t realize he’s still holding it until after what he says-]

I kinda prefer the silver anyway. I don’t usually wear a whole bunch’a colors…

[…and then he’ll remember what he’s doing, oops, and let Ain’s hand go.]

[If he leaves the jacket open it matches his leather collar too which is another benefit for Ain personally, he is so so so happy about this, but he's not going to say that. It's implied in the way his eyes wander and go back up to Wolfwood's eyes, swinging their intertwined hands and oh okay no more hold hands.]

And here you had decision paralysis, haha. You're handsome! Don't forget to grab your old coat.

[It Has Cargo In It. Also Ain is going to want to wear it at some point because something something Wolfwood's whiskey and cigarette scent. Delicious.

He's moving to go look at the boots now. He wants ones with a higher heel, which like... He does not need to be taller but he needs to steppy. So.]

[It matches…a little too well, actually. And the mirth in Ain’s eyes is hard to miss, much less ignore…he doesn’t know how to feel about the way it makes his heart flutter in his chest, like a bird trapped in a cage.

Handsome…]

Yeah…right.

[He’ll pick it up off the nearby rack he’d hung it on (good thing nobody walked by and accidentally grabbed it, huh), swapping the new coat for the old so he can actually pay for it once they leave. He doesn’t think he needs new shoes, even though he kindof does since his are all beaten up just like his coat, but he’ll wander after Ain to see what he’s looking at regardless.

Much like a man with his lady friend, actually.]

Y’think you could wear those heels in the sand?

I have flatter shoes in my bag for travelling. I need new "going out" shoes.

[He travels light, yes, but he can't use his dingy work shoes for stepping on people to make money! That's unsexy! He's currently wearing the old "going out" shoes, which he's swapping for these nicer ones.

Worry about your dick, Wolfwood, you're gonna need to—

Sticks his feet out from the bench he's sitting on and kicks his legs around.]

Do you like them? I like them.

[Gets up

is taller than Wolfwood now

struts back and forth to test the shoes out, as you do.]

[Screams. Screaming-

Now the question is, is Ain going to be thinking about working while he’s with Wolfwood? Sure, he won’t be making money if he’s sucking that dick instead of a stranger’s, but also—

Wolfwood…is not expecting Ain to shoot up taller than he is as he stands, and it causes him to swallow visibly as he watches him walk around to test the shoes out. You don’t often see women taller than their suitors walking around in the wild west, so…uh.

Yeah. Ain is about to turn some heads.]

I…yeah. I like ‘em…

[That depends, because money is good but he can get it without dick (he just reaaaaaaally likes dick) (also it makes it easy to steal when the person is unconscious because the dick was so bomb). He could sing, of course, that's quite easy, and it wouldn't get them arrested.

Hmm hmm...]

I'll wear them out, I think.

[Which would be a good way to steal, but they've been making such a damn racket it would be impossible. Clothing is always hard to steal anyway.]

Do you need anything else?

[The entire wild west is about to develop a Tall Woman Fetish, as the world wants from them, but lo and behold it's just Ain—]

[Is there anything else in here he wants? Hm...

He looks over towards the men's section again. Lots of rugged clothing over there. Hems, haws...

Plucks a hat from the rack. It's new, not dissimilar to his current hat, a sort of faded black leather meant to look aged. His own hat is full of things like bullet holes, tears, and frays from age...which he takes off his head, beats over his knee to get the dust off, and plops it on Ain's head, keeping the new one in hand.]

I've been needin' a new hat.

[Hat!! Hat for Ain! This is his hat now and Wolfwood is never getting it back, he will wear it for the rest of the day.]

Ooh, I like it. It matches your jacket!

[Pretty... handsome cowboy... Ain is making eyes at this man even though he should not be making eyes at literally anybody right now.

If Wolfwood is done here, they can go pay with their stolen coinpurse, which has more than enough money in it to pay for stuff. Lots of silver dollar coins, enough for them to get lunch if they really want to. Or buy more things. Their crimes are between them and god at this point.]

[Oh, good. He didn't make a big deal out of that. He doesn't have to think about how gay what he just did was-

With his new hat and jacket purchased, and Ain with his old hat and a new pair of shoes, they buy them all by using stolen money- basically getting it for free- and head out. It's not deserved, all this stuff they have, but that isn't stopping them at this point. Wolfwood sure as hell doesn't care, and as long as they can keep a low profile.......it'll be fine.

It's fine.

About as fine as Ain being taller than him is, good god.]

You happy?

Uh-huh!!!

[He is very happy, in fact! And very tall! Those shoes put him a couple inches over six feet, and as they walk through the crowd, someone comments that he's a "corn-fed bitch" passively. Like damn that is a tall lady.

Ain whistles joyfully as they head down the street, unbothered by people either looking at him like "eugh, tall lady (neg)" or "ohhh tall lady (horny)" or "wtf bitch got legs (neutral)". He is still clinging to Wolfwood's arm, which uh, definitely makes Wolfwood look like a purse doggy in comparison but that's fine. Surely his toxic masculinity will let him live this one down.]

I want your old coat when you're done with it. It smells like you, haha.

[Oh now we're owning our emotions?? Couldn't do that earlier but now we're doing it???]

[Surely!! It's fine, later tonight they'll go to the saloon and Wolfwood will get so sloshed on whiskey that he probably won't care how he looks anymore. He does of course catch the comments every so often made by people when he's able to hear them, ranging from comments he agrees with to ones he...finds himself feeling weirdly defensive over, actually? What is it saying about him and his toxic masculinity that he's bristling at the people who are like "eugh, tall lady"? Like, no?? First of all, fuck you, second, he's not a lady, third, if he was him being tall wouldn't-

...wait.

Dial up sounds happening in his brain decades before internet was invented...]

Huh?

[He's pulled out of his thoughts when Ain comments on wanting his coat, prompting him to actually look over at him as they pass through the thoroughfare.]

Tch...you want it cause it smells like me? I ain't so sure that's a good thing.

Aha, but you smell so masculine?? In a "I drink too much" way, but still. I like it.

[Wrap him in your scent you testosterone-addled homophobe, he wants it.]

When you gave it to me last night, it was all warm and smelled like you, too. I dunno how to explain why I liked it, I just did.

[The inherent romance of breathing in someone's scent but neither of them are very romantic etc etc.

Anyway, they're headed down the strip while Ain tries to painstakingly explain "I like you" without actually saying those words because, uh, he is love-phobic now thank you very much... and someone catcalls him. It was going to happen eventually because Patriarchy but God.]

[Just wait until Ain actually says "I love you" out loud to Wolfwood with his mouth and Wolfwood doesn't say it back, oops-

Don't look now though! Ain's being catcalled! And Wolfwood...

He will swear up and down later it's because he's keeping up appearances, but his reaction is immediate and reflexive. He snarls like a wolf, baring his teeth in a grimace at the man who did that.]

Fuck off.

[Ain isn't really bothered by it on account of... like, he knows he looks good, he knows he was going to solicit commentary from crass people, and usually he also encourages it because it gets him money and attention. He's content to be like "whatever" until Wolfwood snarls at the guy, who skedaddles immediately when he realises there's opposition. Those types always do, but...

What catches Ain off-guard is the fact that Wolfwood is defending him? Even if it's for appearances, they could've just walked on, no big deal, Ain wouldn't have been offended either way.

Why?? It's not like they're really growing closer, probably, maybe? Ain is a loveless thief and Wolfwood is, as far as Ain knows, someone who does weird things for money, and they have no reason to be together other than the fact that they happen to be going the same direction.

It makes his face heat up. Uh?? Uhhhh???]

...it's fine, just ignore those people. That happens to me a lot.

Don't matter. Assholes like that need t'be taught a lesson, otherwise they'll just keep doin' it.

[Since when did Wolfwood care, though? He's never really gone out of his way to help like this before, not just in Ain's case, but for anyone...but it's like they're really a couple, and he's being...

...possessive.]

[... He's being possessive. Protective, even. Ain does not want to put words to what he's feeling about that, but it's so...

Safe? It's so safe. He feels so looked after.

His will to steal all of Wolfwood's stuff astronomically shrinks. Ohhhhh no, this is so bad. This is so bad for his health.

...]

Thanks. Uh— let's just keep going, I'm sure people will calm down eventually. You'd think they've never seen someone tall wearing a skirt before.

[Don't say he makes you feel safe don't say he makes you feel things in general don't say anything no speaking—]

[Wolfwood, meanwhile, is still trying to puzzle out why he said what he said. Did what he did. He never felt that strongly about whatever other people were doing before, and it's not like they're...a thing.

So why? He...isn't sure he has an answer. He just knows that guy catcalling Ain pissed him off, so he said something. It seems simple enough, when he thinks about it in that light.]

Tch. Yeah. They prob'ly think you're some kinda whore.

[........implying he isn't-????? Wolfwood you met Ain while he was like, literally singing at a saloon and also implied to be prostituting, hello-]

Just cause you're some pretty thing in a skirt...

Um...

[Yes Wolfwood, he does be whore! It's how he makes money aside from the crime!

Ain won't correct him, he'll just keep leading them forward. It looks like there's something of a park up ahead... It's not grassy, but there are trees to spend time under and people watch, and Ain does love to people watch. There's also a real pretty lake, too.]

Am I pretty?? To you? Or just in general?

[Hahaha...fuck. Uh.

Wolfwood looks away as they walk, his words caught in the back of his throat as he finds himself struggling to say what he wants to say. He knows his answer- it's right there, and he'd say it easily if he wore his heart on his sleeves- but he's hesitating because...well. You know.

Homophobic.

...hang on, he's going to fumble in his jacket pocket for a cigarette, which is Ain's dead giveaway he's nervous. He smokes to calm down.]

I mean. Yeah. You're...I mean. Look at you.

[Uh huh keep going sweetie]

[How do those rings feel in there baby, they heavy?]

...yeah? I'm glad. I really wanted you to think so.

[He didn't get dressed up for no reason! And he's going to steer them toward a bench by the lake... Maybe it's more of an oasis actually, but either way, they have more of an excuse to sit down since Wolfwood is now smoking and most decent store owners don't want people smoking in their shops.]

You already know I think you're attractive. I don't know if I need to say it again. It'll probably inflate your ego.

[Fortunately for this conversation not getting swerved to "wait HOW much did you steal", Wolfwood's cigarettes are in his inner pocket, not the outer ones that are holding the stolen rings. He'll get to those later tonight though, rest assured, and upend his coat like Ain what the fuck. For now, though...maybe he notices it's a little heavier than usual, but the gay thoughts are too strong for his deductive reasoning to actually be working properly.

Anyway, here they are at this oasis of sorts, and after they've been on the road for so long, it's...a sight to behold. It's plenty hot out...it makes you want to go take a dip. Instead of doing that, Wolfwood sinks into a (manspreading) sit on the bench, pulling out his cigarette lighter so he can get himself lit up, taking a few deep drags before he responds because Ain just called him attractive and he didn't hate it.

Ffffffffuuuuuck.]

Hah...yeah, well. That much was already obvious...

[Is how he decides to cover himself, leaning back now that he's got his cigarette lit.

Leaning back, and putting his arm across the back of the bench.]

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