dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

I tried to stop you. You said you wouldn't have the opportunity again for a while and were living in the moment or something like that.

[Not an exact quote because Wolfwood was slurring and Ain was in his lap going "uh huh" but close enough to the point. He caps the canteen even though, to him, it feels like Wolfwood drained the whole thing.]

I don't really know what you were thinking otherwise. It wasn't about your hangover, that's for sure.

Mrrghhh.

[Eloquent, thanks Wolfwood.

He stretches his limbs a little until even that becomes too much, having to close his eyes again since the light in the bedroom- even just the small bit of sun coming through the blinds- is too much for him to handle right now.]

Don't even....remember comin' back here. [So that's a good sign.] You brought me...?

[Ain shuffles back into the bathroom to grab a wet cloth and start scrubbing Wolfwood down. At the very least, the man shouldn't be subject to dried jizz on his everything. Worsh worsh...]

...yeah. [Of course he doesn't remember. Sigh.] We were flirting. You said we should go back to the inn, and so I dragged you back here. I was pretty sure you weren't even going to be able to get it up last night because of how much you had.

[...right. They fuck fucked last night. That part he remembers enough, especially having woken up in the current state he's in. He's kindof amazed he was able to get it up in that condition too, if he's honest.

This...is starting to get out of hand, if he's getting drunk and having gay sex he only half remembers. And while Ain taking care of him is appreciated- he's shocked by it, actually- he thinks...

This might have to be where they end up parting, soon. He has to at least go as far as the next town to avoid suspicion, since that's the story he told Ain before. But after that, Ain will be going to the mountains alone.

At least. That's the plan, anyway.]

Guess I was pretty hammered.

[...]

I guess...uh. Sorry if I did anythin' weird.

[That's the plan! And it will totally be better for Ain's sanity when they part because then he can go back to being something of a sociopath yayyyy.

He finishes scrubbing Wolfwood down, puts the dirty rag on the edge of the bedpost to be collected by the maid later (sorry honey they were getting frisky), and then flops back into bed under the covers to curl up with Wolfwood. Despite his better judgement, Ain really doesn't want Wolfwood to leave. But he also can't say "hey I have a little bit of feelings for you sorry" right now, either. Or... perhaps it's not that he can't, but that he won't.]

...nothing weird. Just the stuff we did in the back of the wagon, basically. You were pretty touchy... it was nice.

...mm. Right.

[He figured as much. God, what the hell has gotten INTO him lately? He knows he can't possibly be that pent up, but...well, he's already had several meltdowns about being gay by now, and cried at least once about it, so maybe he's finally making that shift from denial into acceptance. Only time will tell, because being gay or straight is the least of his worries when he still has an actual job to do that he's been neglecting.]

I remember...bits n' pieces. You sure are fuckin' good at what you do.

[Take that as you will, Ain, that's probably the most of a compliment you'll get out of him while he's dealing with a migraine.]

...but right now, I need'ta not move until we leave.

[Or maybe Ain wants to throw him in the wagon and go, who knows.]

[Great!! Ain's good at what he does and Wolfwood is good at not touching him until coerced! Please love him he just wants to have things be reciprocated and not forced and not while in a drunken haze, he's getting desperate and antsy. It's a bad look.

Anyway, Ain has the self-awareness of a goldfish so he just puts his head on Wolfwood's chest.]

I know. I wanted to take today to rest more, especially for the horses. ...I can get you some food. Let me take a bath first.

[Not him a goldfish...

He hates, truly hates, how much he wants Ain to just stay where he is, laying on him like this while he languishes with a migraine. He wouldn't even be super helpful being there, but...it's what his heart wants, and that frightens him a little bit.]

Yeah...yeah. Take your time.

[...

Brushes...a hand over Ain's hair, briefly.]

I ain't goin' nowhere.

[Angry fluffed up cat noise (aka he's groaning a little and pressing his face into Wolfwood's titty like mrrrrghghghhh, he's fine). He wants to be loved! Please love him. :( ]

...I know you're not. You just said you weren't moving today about five minutes ago. [But he's getting up now, pushing off of Wolfwood and grabbing clean clothes from his stuff. Before he heads into the bathroom, he gives Wolfwood one last glance, frowning.] I really like spending time with you, and I like sleeping with you. You realise you're not paying for this anymore, don't you?

[And then he'll slip into the bathroom to let Wolfwood marinate on that for a bit.]

[Ain’s words stun him into silence. It’s not like he’s not been saying similar things before now, about how he likes the sex, or how he’s been enjoying himself doing this or that thing together, but this is the first time Ain has looked him in the eye and said it so blatantly. Like there’s a point he’s trying to get across.

And there is. Wolfwood knows it, even if he doesn’t really know. It’s a deep seated feeling, the one he’s been running from this entire time.

He doesn’t have time to answer even if he wanted to as Ain disappears, leaving him sighing heavily as he closes his eyes again.

God. He’s really fucked this one, both figuratively and literally. If he doesn’t nip it in the bud now, then…]

[Better tell Ain you don't want to be with him now so he can go "oh well okay then" and pack up and leave. It'll be easier on both of them if they do, and Ain briefly contemplates it as he normally does before deciding, no, he's not leaving and no one can make him leave, fuck you he wants that man. He wants to keep him and travel with him and do crimes with him.

This sucks. It sucks!!! He hates this feeling. It's suffocating and throat-tightening and evil, and Ain ducks his head underneath the water and screams into it so that the sound is muffled. He knows he's being dramatic, but he can't help it. He will not attach the L-word to this, he will not, it's just a stupid proximity crush and he'll be over it as soon as they're done travelling together.

He wants to tear his hair out and cry, he thinks. He doesn't make it quite to the tearing-hair-out, but he does get about halfway to crying before he tells himself to suck it up. It's not like they're actually dating, Wolfwood isn't going to say sweet things to Ain or even want to touch him most of the time, so what's the issue?

Sigh. He washes up and gets out of the tub to dry off, then does his makeup in the bathroom mirror so that he's feminine enough to not get either of them in major trouble. Dressed and ready for the day in a simple, more feminine button-down and slacks and riding boots, Ain gives Wolfwood one last glance and sort of just...]

Do you need anything else before I go find you something to eat?

[Wolfwood, of course, has no idea the affect he’s having on Ain right now. He has no idea he’s made him cry in the bathtub. Kindof ironic that maybe if he did, he’d be rethinking his approach on this whole thing. Like really, what is he doing here exactly? The original idea was to seduce him once and then get him arrested. Simple.

Once has turned into…much more than that. Much longer than that. He’s actually…felt things for this man. He’s enjoyed his time with him. He wants to…

Well, he doesn’t quite get to finish that thought before Ain has returned, all gussied up for the day. He’s dressed more feminine again, for obvious reasons, and Wolfwood can’t help but think about how pretty he is…yet, how much prettier he would be if he didn’t have to appear quite so feminine…which Wolfwood is starting to slowly realize is a preference on his part.

Urhgh.]

Mm…nah. Go ahead.

Jus’ make sure you get somethin’ too.

Yeah, I will. Probably from the sole restaurant in town.

[It's definitely not the only one, but it's not like there's a restaurant on every block. They're lucky to have that one in reasonable walking distance, compared to the 300 saloons just on that one block. No one wants to sit down with their families, they're all cooking dinner in their fancy houses.

Not Ain, who doesn't own property and can't really cook. Nope, he's headed right to that restaurant, up to the counter where the nice waitress asks to sit him down, and he says very quietly,]

Can I actually get something boxed? My darling husband, [eugh,] spent all night drinking, and I'm looking for something light on the stomach...

[This girl is So sympathetic to him. Like oh yes of course darling my husband did the same thing at the saloon (this is not normal, y'all) just last week, here have a seat let me get you a glass of water, do you want anything too? And Ain says yes he does he'd like some sickly sweet flapjacks if she could, thank you you're a doll.

And then Ain comes back half an hour later with bacon (good for hangovers), eggs, and so many fucking hashbrowns and croissants because that's also a hangover cure. Ain said light and she said no honey you're gonna get the fucking handover help. In a cute little disposable box too. I don't know if they had to-go boxes back then but it would be dumb if they didn't so.

He plops the food on the nightstand.]

The restaurant in the middle of town seems pretty good. The waitress was real understanding when I said "hangover food". [Ain didn't say those words.] This is all yours.

[Haha, yeah…Ain’s “darling husband” sure is a piece of work alright. And the fact he spent all night drinking is true, so at least he’s only having to tell a partial lie here. It is not normal, nor should it be so easily accepted, but this is the wild west and the men were just Like This unfortunately.

By the time Ain returns, Wolfwood is at least no longer naked on top of the bedsheets. He isn’t dressed either, but he somehow managed to worm his way underneath the covers, the sheets pulled up to his chest as he lays there flat on his back, trying to will the room to stop spinning at any given moment.

He peels one eye open as Ain brings the food over, and while just the thought of eating right now makes him queasy, he knows if he eats something he’ll feel better. He’ll…get to it.]

…thanks, Ain. Kinda…owe you one.

[Ugh. His pathetic straight boy... drenched rat of a man. Ain frowns as he takes his own food and some silverware he pilfered from the main dining area here (they weren't serving breakfast, it's a little too late in the day for that, but forks are free) and sits on the opposite end of the bed.]

Maybe, [he deflects, noncommittal to the idea as a whole,] I'm not worried about it. Just eat before you collapse and I have to leave your corpse in here while I head out on my lonesome.

[Shoving his pancakes in his mouth... he is back to being stupidly quiet again. He has too many feelings swarming around, he can't think right.]

[He’s sooo pathetic :( please feel bad for him.

He watches Ain out of the corner of his eye as he takes a seat on the bed and starts eating, trying to conjure up the energy he needs to actually sit up and put food in his mouth.

And yeah, the fact Ain mentions “heading out on his lonesome” isn’t something Wolfwood misses. His plan had been to cut Ain loose, and then alert the gang that he’d sent authorities the tip to his location so he could be arrested. At least then…maybe. Maybe Ain wouldn’t know it was him who put in the tip.

But who is he kidding. Of course he would. The only person he’s been in contact with this entire time has been Wolfwood. It would be obvious, and perhaps more cowardly to do it silently than directly to his face…but that’s where his mind is right now, as Ain does all of these things for him.

He exhales slowly, looking back up at the ceiling.]

I mean. This world is small. ‘Specially our side of it. I bet you’ll be seein’ my ass again, and then you’ll be like “ugh not this guy again”.

[Do it coward, arrest him, don't let your gang get their hands on him first you pussy. Call the fucking sheriff—]

Mm... I don't think you're very good at reading people if you think that'll be my reaction.

[Looks off to the side and munches his pancakes. Let's see how Wolfwood takes that one.]

[Ain isn’t wrong. He’s pretty stupid sometimes when it comes to people. But he’s also a bandit, which means he’s learned to catch peoples’ tells. Subtle signs that they’re feeling a certain way.

And anyone with half a brain that has been paying attention can tell Ain is acting strange. He’s been weirdly quiet, he’s not annoying right now which is immediate cause for concern, etc etc.

Finally, with some difficulty, Wolfwood forces himself to sit forward, grabbing at the pillow behind him so he can lean against it. He’ll also grab a piece of bacon to nibble on while they talk.]

Hah…have I fooled you into likin’ me after all?

Sure... if you want to call it being fooled, that's fine.

[Well. At the end of the day, that's sort of what it is. Seduce the whore, get him to drop his guard, earn his trust, throw him in prison to rot. Or let the gang get to him first, since Wolfwood is a little below the law.]

I barely know your name. You sort of babbled it out at me while drunk the first night we spent together. Nick or Nicholas or something about wolves or something, I don't know. I realise I don't really know you, but I'm trying to.

[Honestly, if the gang has their way, it will be the other way around. Wolfwood is the one who is starting to have cold feet about the whole thing…just not yet enough to stop him. He knows that if he were to defect, his own punishment would be far, far worse.

The question then remains: who does he care about more?

Ain’s words leave him stunned silent. Like…what is he supposed to say to that? Ain is not genuine. He’s not supposed to BE genuine. He’s supposed to be a fake whore who is using him for his money, like he did with the boss.

What gives? Why is he playing the long game?]

…It’s Wolfwood. Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

But…you can call me Nick, since you have been.

[Which is a rarity.]

Oh, good, because I don't feel like stopping any time soon. Your name really rolls off the tongue, you know.

[As usual, Ain has eaten very quickly... it helps that he hasn't been talking too much, except where necessary. This is definitely the long game to Wolfwood, who expects this sort of behaviour from a thieving whore, but to Ain? It's all very real. He's trying not to come on too strongly. There's no "I think you like me too", there's merely insecurities he's trying so hard to keep at bay. Insecurities that, frankly, are well-warranted.

Ugh, he needs to meet an actual gay.]

Since we're sharing... "Ainchase Ishmael" is my full name. I don't use it. I don't want to use it. But my mother was a pretty important public figure in my home town thousands of miles from here, and I'm always worried someone will finally realise where her "long lost son" wandered off to.

Ainchase Ishmael, huh? That don't roll off the tongue, at all.

[Guess it's better then, that Ain doesn't want him to use it.

He leans back a little further against the cushions, popping some more of the bacon into his mouth.]

Well. I like Ain better anyway.

I hope so.

[.......

Looks off to the side again. Swirls his fork through a pool of leftover syrup.]

Do you like just the name, I wonder...? Or do you like the person who wears it?

[Okay yeah he's definitely being led somewhere with this conversation, but unfortunately for Ain he hasn't reached the point of his arc that will allow him to say he likes him back. He hasn't even accepted the fact he's gay, which. Come on, we all know it at this point, even Wolfwood himself.

His expression tightens, and for a moment he looks away, trying to come up with a way to answer.]

You're alright. Like I said, you ain't as annoyin' as I first thought.

Just "alright", huh...

[Since he's done with his to-go breakfast... lunch... he supposes it's brunch, whatever, he's putting the box on the opposite nightstand.]

...you're "alright" too. I would have thought that the last three days would've been more arduous, since I usually journey alone, but they've been nice. I never thought...

[That he'd like someone as much as he likes Wolfwood? Ugh, shut up, brain, you don't actually know him, you're never going to know him, he doesn't want you. He's literally saying that right now in different words.]

...I'm going to go check on the horses. Brush 'em and stuff. I'll be back.

[He has to go run from his feelings.]

Edited 2024-05-28 23:38 (UTC)

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