dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety ††

[Like that first time Wolfwood said he was cute, Ain's cheeks flare pink, an ostensibly cute habit, and he kicks the toe of Wolfwood's shoe with his own under the table.]

I'm manly as hell. [No, no you are not.] I see what you're doing, though.

[...]

You're trying to get on my good side so you can eat all my nachos! [Maybe the rubbernecker will stop when he realises that these two are stupid. Or maybe he won't, because these two are clearly on a date (Ain still doesn't know this). Also, the plate of nachos is big enough for the two to share. Nachos are a sharing food.] You're lucky I'm feeling extra generous, or I'd eat them all and not let you have any.

[He's teasing. If it's not obvious by the mirth in his eyes, he's absolutely teasing. It is... the only way he can cope with the way Wolfwood is making him feel right now.]

I don’t think you know what that word means.

[Wolfwood snickers, kicking Ain’s shoe in return, albeit lightly. The rubbernecker isn’t staring anymore at least, but they’re definitely listening as the two talk. It’s not as loud in here as it would be at night, so that’s surprisingly easy to do.

Yes, they are incredibly stupid. It makes it hard to tell if they’re just really dumb, or actual flaming homosexuals.]

Plus, if I wanted to eat your nachos, I would’ve eaten ‘em all by now. You’re not the only one with a cast iron stomach!

[Well. Wolfwood’s is more built for alcohol and cigarettes, as opposed to copious amounts of food.]

Surprised you even got room still for all this. We just ate a bunch of froyo.

[Ain will end up eating most of the nachos, let’s be honest with ourselves.]

[Only time will tell if one of Chapel's boys gets outed as a gay™. Ain... definitely looks and acts the part, but he's got that passing obliviousness that bleeds into everything else, therefore masks him with this air of "maybe he's not gay, maybe he's just got a soft face". Ain't his fault he's got soft features.

(He's gay. And a bottom.)]

I told you, I have a black hole for a stomach. You have cotton in your ears, not me.

[Both of these things can be true. As Ain basically shovels the nachos into his face here, the waitress comes by to ask how everything is, because it is law that they must do that when people's mouths are full. Ain gives a thumbs up and covers his mouth with his hand so that he's not chewing in front of her, trying to be polite. She asks if either of them would like another drink. Ain nods, like yes this is a Horrible idea give him another drink puhlease.]

You're taller than I am. And buffer. How do you eat less?

How should I know? Ain’t you the doctor here?

[He specializes in not-so-living people, after all. Ain’s the expert in the living ones.

Wolfwood…does not order a second brandy. He could drink another, but he’d get drunk for sure, and he needs to be able to drive later. So just one is fine, his tolerance is such that he might just be on the edge of tipsy. Now Ain, on the other hand…

Don’t go forgetting these are spiked, babe.]

Looks like them nachos are a hit though, huh?

[He does not need to answer the nacho question because those things are gonna be gone in another two minutes. The only delay is that Wolfwood's first set of questions prompts a hum and a moment where Ain thinks, yeah okay, he's not too sloshed, he can answer this.]

Faster metabolism on my end. My entire family has it. All of us are very skinny. It's probably my dad's fault — he was a real scrawny Korean man.

[The Ishmaels are half-German half-Korean, of which the German side is the only reason Ain is so white-passing.]

You... you look like you work out, but your metabolism must be slower than mine. I walk everywhere most of the time in my neighbourhood, and I only drive when I want to go somewhere that'll take longer than an hour to walk to, so that lends to it.

There. Happy with that explanation, Mr. Priest?

…Well yeah, guess that’ll about do it.

[He has to admit, he wasn’t expecting Ain to whip out an actual explanation like that. Guess he wasn’t lying when he said he was a doctor. The whole thing leaves Wolfwood smiling in spite of himself as he leans back in his chair. He’ll also steal another nacho for good measure before he continues.]

I wouldn’t say I work out though, but yaknow, thanks for noticing.

[is it normal to feel this sheepish after your guy friend calls you buff, asking for a friend.]

What do you mean you don't work out?

[Hey guy rubbernecking at the bar: enjoy this!]

A guy as big as you has to be! You're lying to me!

[Wolfwood would feel even more sheepish if Ain admitted that he's been dreaming of fondling them titties ayyy, anyway guess who's taking a big gulp of his second glass of margarita after those nachos get polished off it's Aiiiin—]

You know, guys can just be big without working out.

[Wolfwood smirks as he says that, as if Ain would know. He’s still watching you chug that drink, please take it slow he is worried about you-

Also yeah, that rubbernecker is listening a lot harder now than they were before, considering.]

Glad to know that I am just naturally jacked. [You know what? Just to tease, he suddenly decides to take off his jacket, revealing that he is only wearing a wife beater underneath. The only reason he does this is so he can flex his right arm playfully for Ain’s benefit.] You see?

[This of course is only half true. Wolfwood gets plenty of exercise running around doing his mafia shit, so of course he would be a little built from all of that. Probably more so in the area of his thighs than anything though, which Ain will have intimate familiarity with by the time Wolfwood gets him back to the bus stop.]

[The face Ain makes in response is not a straight man's reaction, that's for sure. He goes red from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and sips his drink again, practically chugging it while he tries to get his mind anywhere else.

It does not go anywhere else. Wolfwood is being ogled, and suddenly Ain is unconsciously crossing his legs and squirming for reasons he couldn't even begin to parse. Oof.

Masculine jealousy. Y...yeah.]

Y-you are not... naturally... [Ugh. Nevermind. He's too tipsy now. Maybe his face is burning because of all the liquor. This is his first time drinking and he's two glasses and a plate of nachos into the night. It ain't lookin' good for him.] That's not how anything works. That's all.

[Mmmmmmm boy pretty— no. No brain, no no, bad brain go away bad brain be gone with your bad self brain!!!]

Aren't you cold? [cover back up he's having a crisis]

Who me?

[Wolfwood waves a hand, still holding his jacket in the hand that wasn’t attached to the arm that was just flexing. He looks at the leather for just a moment before he gets the bright idea to just

Hold the jacket out towards Ain.]

Here. Why don’t you take this for now if you are so worried about being cold? You might as well keep it until we get to the bus stop since we’ll be riding my bike as it’s getting dark. It’s gonna be pretty cold after all. Don’t want you turning into a popsicle now do we?

[And hey if he forgets to get it back from him just like last time, conveniently, well…he can just give it back when they meet for dinner next week, can’t he?]

Edited 2024-02-10 04:49 (UTC)

[hhHhHhHhhhhhhhh—

Ain hesitates. Really hesitates. There's a full thirty seconds where it seems like he won't take the jacket, and then he finally reaches out and just. Sets it in his lap. Shakes his head.

Sips drink. He's running out of drink.]

I'm wearing a sweater. You, on the other hand, aren't dressed at all for the weather without it.

[God. It doesn't smell like Wolfwood enough right now. He needs to wear it longer. Get that nicotine scent all up in there so Ain can continue to have fucked up dreams.]

I'm afraid I can't do anything for you if you freeze to death because of the wind, haha!

[He's too buzzed for this discussion. His words are slurring, and he's seriously thinking to himself that he can't take the jacket, not only because Wolfwood will be cold but because there's not enough Wolfwood-scent on it. He can't say that out loud. He can't. Someone will overhear...

So he whispers. Jesus can't hear him if he's whispering—]

It doesn't smell enough like you yet, so I can't take it right now.

[100% straight over here yep]

Edited 2024-02-10 05:02 (UTC)

[Wolfwood isn’t too surprised by him rejecting the jacket a second time. Yeah, okay, that’s to be expected. That was maybe pushing it a little too far. Ain isn’t…he’s a (closeted) straight man, so. All of these little nudges and coy flirting isn’t really going to have an affect on him, in the end. He’s not sure why he’s letting himself get his hopes up, actually, Ain doesn’t even realize they’ve been going on little dates ever since they-]

…huh?

[The words stun him numb. It doesn’t smell enough like you yet, he admits with his whole chest, and if Wolfwood wasn’t red before, he sure as hell is now. He’s burning red, and you know what he’s been trying to fight off this entire time?

Yeah. That admission flew straight to his crotch, and now he’s sporting a semi. If they don’t stay here long enough for this to calm down, he’s going to have to lie about the nachos not sitting well and spend 10 awkward minutes in the bar bathroom.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck oh no. He’s got it so fucking bad. He’s crushing hard. This hasn’t happened since he was a teenager. Not since…well. Not since he lost his virginity and realized he wasn’t straight. He’s developed a crush on a twink who is so deep in the closet he’s in Narnia. Never mind he’s religiously entrenched to the point where he isn’t sure he’d even entertain a sexuality that didn’t involve kissing women chastely on the lips.

He takes the jacket back. He’s trying to pull himself back together, looking for all the world like his head is going to explode.]

Haha…didn’t know you. Uh. Liked…the smell of cigarettes. Most people hate it.

[This thing is going to REEK of cigarette smoke by this time next week lbr.]

[Ain is drunk. They're not going anywhere fast, unless Wolfwood wants to carry his drunk twink out into the parking lot and set him on the pavement to cool off. They have time... unless Ain keeps talking it seems, which he'll do, so good luck buddy!

He's still muttering. Slurring. His head is on the table now, arms bunched up around it, but Wolfwood will be able to hear him if he strains his ears a bit.]

There was sandalwood in there last time. You shouldn't smoke... it's bad for you. But your natural scent smells good. ...I wore it all week. 's'why it smells like me now. It doesn't fit someone small like me, though.

[Ain is six feet tall, but he means small in the muscles sense. He's skinny. He's got big hips.]

Wore it to bed... [Ain you'll kill him—] 's'warm. Just make it smell nice again and I'll take it.

[Yeah uh. This is not helping his erection even slightly. Wolfwood groans under his breath, and now it’s his turn to cross his legs, thankful that this table is hiding him presently from the world as he quickly pulls his jacket back on. Ain fucking slept in it?? Why? It’s a leather jacket, that shit can’t be comfortable even if he fell asleep wearing it on accident, which he clearly did not since he JUST said he wore it all week.

Honestly wishing he was the one with his head on the table, because his dick is straining in his pants in protest like why are we sitting here doing nothing when there’s a cute boy right there to ruin. But he can’t, they’re nowhere in that ballpark, and Wolfwood would sooner out himself to Chapel than do anything while Ain is clearly experiencing his first drunk moment.

It’s. Fine. He’s just drunk. He doesn’t know what he’s saying or how it sounds. He’ll probably forget what he said when he sobers up anyway.]

R…right. Sure.

[He takes a slow breath to calm himself down, flagging the waitress over before mouthing “water” to her. She brings them two glasses within a minute.]

Here, drink some water. That booze is going to knock you on your ass if that’s all you drink.

[Jesus can't hear him if he's whispering!!! Jesus probably can't hear anything over the din of the bar, though, what with the loud scream that comes from the pool table as some drunk presumably wins the game. It makes Ain jolt, sitting up like "what the fuck" before he realizes it's just someone having fun.

Water. Water is a good idea. Ain drinks it, little sips at first because he's Aware he's a little wobbly right now and he's trying not to get too overzealous about hydration and drop the glass.]

Yeah, yeah... It was good, though. You can't let me go home drunk, or my mom's going to skinnnnnnn me.

[Sip.]

[Wolfwood jumps when Ain does, but fortunately it’s just a rowdy drunk, and not a bar right breaking out. Speaking of breaking out, he sure can feel sweat starting to form on the back of his neck right about now-]

…don’t worry. We can go back and hang around the park for a while if we need to. Or we can just stay here.

[At bars like these, especially when it’s during the slow hours, they won’t be kicked out for lingering overlong or anything. Wolfwood might have to order a soda or something so they’re not just loitering without buying more food or drink, but still.]

I…I don’t mind hanging with you longer.

[He’d like to hang with him Even Longer, but…]

Guess two margaritas were kindof a lot for your first drink, huh?

It tastes like juice, though...

[Yeah Ain that's how they getcha.]

...I like that park. Still mad about my wallet, but it's not the park's fault you've got thugs running around. [He's getting through the water at a steady clip. Give him another fifteen minutes, and he should be good to at least walk out on his own.] We can go back there.

[It's getting dark out, too. There's light pollution and all, but they still should be able to see a few stars. There's nothing gay about stargazing!]

[No sure there’s nothing gay about bringing your bro to the park to sit on a bench and stargaze until he sobers up nah it’s fine it’s fine.

Fifteen minutes should give him enough time to go soft again, he thinks. He hopes. As long as Ain doesn’t say anything else out of pocket between then and now, he won’t have to excuse himself. This time, anyway. Maybe Ain won’t notice Wolfwood picking up the check for them either when their waitress comes back by.

In the meantime, Wolfwood is trying to will his heart to stop racing. Seriously, how the fuck did he let things get THIS bad? He didn’t…okay no, that’s a lie. He was checking Ain out from the moment they met, but he never intended it to be more than “oh he’s hot” and then moving on. But now…

He’s going to go back home and take the coldest shower of his life, and it won’t be to sober up.]

Just lemme know when you feel okay to leave. I don’t want you barfing on my bike.

I would never.

[Dramatic ass.

Ain drinks his water, though. He'll say a few other things — about the weather, how it's going to rain again later on this week, about how his car's window is fixed up now and he's learnt his lesson there, other little updates like that — and by the time he's finished his glass, his face is starting to clear up from being red and he's not slurring.

He also hasn't forgotten anything he's said, and it's begun to make him nervous — Wolfwood must think he's a fucking freak or something — but Ain is wrangling his anxiety as best he can.]

...okay. I'm good to go, I think. Haha, geez... Stop me from drinking so much next time.

[Ain? A freak? Lol no. If that were the case then Wolfwood would need to be locked up for what he’s thinking as he smiles and nods, pulling his hand fitfully though his hair as he thinks about Ain wearing his jacket. Only. His jacket. While he bounces in his lap—

Right, weather. Car windows. Mundane shit. He’s trying to get rid of this boner so he can drive Ain back to the park, not make it even worse.

He slugs back the water and honestly seeing as how he wasn’t drunk himself, he shakes off his brandy pretty easily. His chub is gone. He thinks. He stretches his legs under the table and adjusts his shades as he stands, gesturing for Ain to follow.]

Hey, you ordered another before I could say anything. I didn’t even think you’d drink all of the first one, let alone two.

[My man might be tipsy still when he gets home. Hopefully his mom doesn’t try to kiss his face and smells the alcohol on his breath, or something.

Even as Ain sobers up, Wolfwood will put a careful arm around him to help him back to the bike. To the casual observer this is normal, people have to help each other waddle out of the bar all the time, even during the day. People get drunk, it’s a thing. Back to the bike, helmets on. Uh…]

Here. Why don’t you ride in back this time? I’m worried you might slip off if you ain’t holding on to me.

[Also less chance of him getting hard with Ain pressed against him, maybe, he hopes.]

[Neither of these options are great, actually!

Ain... knows he's sort of screwed, sitting on the back. He gets it. He gets why. But he thinks his brain isn't quite at 100%, that his hands are going to wander, and then he's going to go home and be Worse. He already basically told Wolfwood he's a freak out here...!]

...I'm not that intoxicated anymore, [Ain protests, very weakly at that,] but okay. I'll hold onto you.

[Bad idea. The second Ain is sitting down and helmeted up, the second Wolfwood is in front of him, Ain's arms wrap around the guy and he can feel muscles through Wolfwood's shirt. He can feel them, and he's already purposely trying to (subtly) (but it'll come across as completely unsubtle) feel more, flattening his hand against Wolfwood's abdomen and hhhhhhhhhhhh

He's just jealous he's jealous it's normal to be jealous of a man more masculine than you it's normal he's normal his brain is So normal right now—]

[Bro it’s so unsubtle it’s almost comical as they sit down on the bike once Wolfwood unchains it, his heart skipping a beat as soon as Ain puts his arms around him and…starts feeling up his abdomen. Like that’s totally what he’s doing, and Ain will feel him tense under his touch in spite of himself, showing off the rows of muscle even more.

He keeps his mouth shut, because his semi is trying to return.]

Hang on tight. If you feel like you’re gonna fall, tap my shoulder.

[AND THEN OFF THEY GO vroooooom

It’s not super far back to the park, yet Wolfwood is kindof suffering the entire way. His body feels overly warm, he’s pretty sure Ain can feel his pulse through his torso with how hard his heart is hammering between his ears. Fuck fuck fuck-

It’s getting dark. Colder. Ain’s warmth against his back is comforting, due to that. And all too soon the park looms in the distance, not too full of people with it being later in the evening, but it isn’t exactly empty either.]

[One third of Ain's brain is going "hey, you should stop doing that, God is watching". Another third responds "that's true, I should stop doing this", and then the final third says "How is God going to know though..." And that's the part that fucking wins. Yes, Ain feels guilty for feeling Wolfwood up. Yes, it is very shameful, what he's doing. Yes, he'll beat himself over the head about it when he gets home, probably cry a lot and throw a fit and try to figure out what's wrong with him...

But right now, he's feeling a man up and weirdly enjoying it. He shouldn't. He can't. But feeling that plane of muscle underneath his palm is doing things to him, none of them good, and he doesn't want to quit. Wolfwood has not told him to quit.

Monkey brain says reach higher up to see if that chest really is as big as Ain thinks it is. Ain says to monkey brain, hey that's a terrible idea, and then reaches a hand up anyway under the guide of "readjusting", brushes over his left pectoral, has a whole moment, and then puts his hands back down.

He's behaving.

They pull up to the park, and Ain continues behaving by being completely hands off. His excuse to touch is done, he's sated his curiosity, and he sarcastically thinks that when summer comes around he cannot go to a public swimming pool with Wolfwood unless he wants to ruin his life forever. He is a good god-fearing Catholic man. Public pools are for ogling women, not for ogling your new friend Wolfwood and his above average cup size.

They're at the park. It's good. He's calm, he's not hot under the collar at all. Maybe his sweater is a bit too thick. He feels dizzy due to all the blood rushing to his cheeks, not because of the liquor that's long been metabolized in his system. He...

Is slowly taking off that helmet, looking at the sparse amount of people dotted throughout the park. They're so far apart that they wouldn't even be able to hear each other yelling, their voices trapped on the wind. It's almost private this late at night.

Ain has no idea why this provides him with some semblance of relief.]

[Wolfwood would not say his chest is as sensitive as some can be. But he’s had his chest fondled in a sexual way before, so he’s well aware of how it can feel. Ain doesn’t quite get to that point since he’s just “idly” “accidentally” copping a feel, but even then…he feels the fabric of his undershirt brush over his clothed nipple, and Wolfwood’s soft groan is stolen away by the wind, thank god. His jeans tighten, and he curses under his breath.

Ain is going to kill him. He is going to get home and he’s going to jerk off thinking about him until he passes out. Maybe, at that point, he’ll have gotten it out of his system.

They eventually make it to the park, and Wolfwood is quite stiff as he gets off the bike. His jeans are tight, but he thinks that as long as he sits a certain way the wrinkles of his jeans will hide an encroaching hardon. He wonders, with as religious as Ain is, if he’s ever even masturbated. He’s probably had a boner, that’s unavoidable as a man who exists, but he probably has been told that even that is a sin and he should ignore it because the devil is in his dick or some insanity like that.

Of course, that gets him thinking about Ain touching himself and not knowing why or what it means, crying because it’s sinful and having to be reassured that it’s normal and okay to explore your body, or being able to teach him for the first time and oh god he has got to fucking stop, that semi is going to be a full on unhideable boner soon.

Wolfwood leads the way to the pond, where there’s a bench underneath a tree to sit on. There are geese and ducks floating on the water that’s reflecting the stars and moon, and honestly it is all kindof weirdly romantic even if the only thing they’re doing is sitting side by side respectfully as friends.

At least until Wolfwood crosses one leg over his knee (hiding the erection), putting his arm along the back of the bench. Ostensibly around Ain’s shoulders, even if it’s not his intention. This is just how he sits as a man spreader.

It’s fine.]

Nice night.

[See? Normal. Everything is so normal. They're normal, they're just friends, Ain was not feeling anybody up and Wolfwood is not hard right now.

Get closer to him, says ape brain, and ape brain gets ignored. Do not get closer.]

The ducks are cute! [Look at the ducks focus on the ducks we're birdwatching now.] I wish I had something to feed them. They're probably gonna migrate soon, huh? When they come back in spring and have little baby ducks, we should come here and feed them!

[hhhhhh he wants to feed the ducks so bad—]

It's so pretty... I love scenery like this. Haha, I wish I was good at painting. This would be a nice scene to preserve, don't you think?

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the devil? in MY penis? it's more likely than you think