dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety ††

Theoretically. I'm not really the guy you want to be seeing though, am I?

[Haha. This is both figurative and literal.

Also thank you for eating this burger with your hands as god intended, otherwise the entire diner would have been staring at them weirdly.]

We'd probably still see each other even if you didn't own the business. Just not as much.

[Munch munch. He quirks a brow when Ain presses for clarification.]

It's a motorbike. You ever ridden on one?

No. Isn't it dangerous?

[Mom says motorcycles cause a lot of death because the people who drive them are dangerous gangsters of no real refinement. They kill civilians for fun and love to cause car crashes in the name of Satan. Sin. Sin sin sin sin sin, is all his mother is on about.]

Like, if you crash in one, that's pretty much it, right? [He doesn't want to tell Wolfwood that he's not being very Godly driving one of those death machines, but...] You're being safe, aren't you? You're not speeding? You're not jumping over dumpsters??

[Ain what kind of stunt driver bullshit have you been watching hello]

[Oh Ain. You poor, sweet summer child.]

They can be. But that's why you gotta wear helmets, and leather.

[Sort of. Gestures to himself.]

It keeps you from getting cheese-grated on the pavement if you did fall off the bike. Otherwise though it's no more dangerous than driving a car, really.

[He........does not answer if he speeds. Because yes he speeds.]

Oh...

[So THAT'S why you're dressed like a punk right now, Wolfwood. You're not a greaser... you're just being safe. Ain understands everything.]

So, your motorcycle is your hobby, then? Do you paint it? Or do you do mechanic work? Both? I don't know anything about that sort of thing, haha. Machinery isn't really my forte.

I do...a little bit of tinkering on her, yeah.

[Her...?]

It'd be way too expensive if I took her to the shop every time I needed something done. She's been painted yeah, but she's just like...black, so it's nothing fancy or anything.

[Her. Ain grins from behind his burger. Maybe Wolfwood will see it over the bun.]

You're definitely a car guy, haha. What's her name?

[Munch, munch, and he's polishing off that burger and turning his attention to the remainder of his fries and his shake. Wolfwood is probably going to discover very quickly that, when Ain isn't talking, he inhales food. Like the man is a goddamn black hole. He might want a sundae after he finishes this much, unknown, he'll decide in two minutes.]

[Listen at least his car isn't a guy. Then Ain might be scared off-]

Angelina. Took me like half a year's worth of paychecks to save up for her. Maybe if you're lucky I show her to you sometime.

[Also yeah, he's...starting to slowly catch on as Ain just devours his meal. Normally a milkshake with a whole burger and fries would be a lot for a normal person, but Ain is just packing it away like it's a black hole in there.]

I'd like to see, haha! I've never really bothered to look at them up close. You sound like you really love her.

[And Ain, for some reason, he's not sure why — he leans back against the booth and grabs his milkshake and makes a casual comment:]

We're talking about her like she's a real girl, haha.

[Like. Minus the "I bought her" and the "I've never seen one up close" and "I do mechanic work sometimes", you know. More the latter bits. Ain's not sure why he says it anyway; he's clearly channelling one of his brothers and all of his teasing comments about girls. Skirt-chasing, but in a Catholic way.

Ain has never really looked at a girl, so maybe "I've never seen one up close" still sort of applies.]

Kindof. Why, you jealous?

[Wolfwood...maybe jumps on this opportunity a little TOO eagerly. Most would call it casual conversation, I call it being ragingly gay and trying to test the waters. How is his gaydar doing...]

Girls are always talking about how they want to marry rich, or marry a doctor, though. I'm sure you've already got a girlfriend.

[It's normal for guys to talk about their girlfriends. Ain... didn't go to public school... where that usually happens... but he's heard it in the streets growing up from before Ishmael controlled half of the fucking city and rather was relegated to a tiny city block as an inconsequential cult leader (or rather, at the time as far as Ain's bias window heard it, the Ishmaels were "an insignificant religious family"). He is well aware that they are now a mafia family, but he thinks they're the good guys because of all the good work they do for the people.

Ain's worldview is coloured only in blacks and whites, clearly. Like, yeah, mafias are going to do good for the surrounding community in certain ways, otherwise they move on from "mafia" to "comic book supervillain organization", and how do you get more mafia members if you don't convince the people of your cause anyway? The Ishmael Family are the "white" to the world's "black" as far as Ain is concerned.

Anyway, back to the point: Ain has heard this is a normal male conversation to have. It does not stop his face from getting a little red, and suddenly he looks down into the mess of half-melted whipped cream in his glass.]

I don't. My brothers harp on me a lot for it. I'm sure there's... some girl out there for me. [lol] Probably, maybe. Haha, it's a little embarrassing to talk about, but I've never even gone steady with a girl before. I went to an all-boys Catholic school [oh honey] and between you and me, a lot of the boys liked to sneak off to the all-girls school next door and chase skirts, but I was never like that.

[Looks up. Makes direct eye contact with Wolfwood's titties... looks back down into his glass. Ain shrugs a shoulder.]

I'm twenty-three. I have time. Besides, dating while I'm in school always sounded like too much work, moreso now that I'm doing my residency.

[How many excuses can he come up with as to why he's never even thought about kissing a girl, one wonders...]

[I don't, he says, but...he also spouts everything a straight guy might say. Talking about how there's a girl out there for him probably, even if he's never gone steady. He went to an all boys school and never chased skirts because he was a good Christian boy...

...

There's half of him that feels weirdly disappointed (why? why does he care. he doesn't care) and another half that feels...like he knows something Ain doesn't know.

Whatever the case, the fact he hasn't and isn't dating anyone isn't exactly abnormal. It's not like Wolfwood is either...he reaches out to use his straw to stir his drink a bit, watching as the bubbles rush up to the surface.]

It's not like you gotta rush into that anyway. That's a sure fire way to land yourself in a loveless marriage.

[Where you hold hands until marriage and then have missionary sex only Once for the purpose of having children and not for pleasure.]

Is that even something you want? Cause it's fine to be more focused on your work.

[Ain has no idea about things right now. But his gaze lingers on Wolfwood a little bit too long for him to actually be straight. It's not so much an act as it is blissful ignorance. He was the type of boy growing up who couldn't stand changing in public locker rooms during gym class; he'd lock himself in the bathroom between periods and change there. Something about being half-naked in front of other guys was just...

Ain looks Pointedly at the wall.]

This is gonna sound really shallow. I've never really seen a girl who caught my eye before. I mean — don't get me wrong, Audrey Hepburn is pretty, but I dunno.

[Audrey Hepburn. One of the most gorgeous actresses of their time. That's who he names first, because that's the Straight Male Answer.]

Everyone goes on about her, for example, but if I saw her walking down the street, I don't think my head would turn much?

[The man is gay. Wolfwood, the man is so deep in the closet he's suffocating.]

[...ooookay yeah. Yeah.

Wolfwood...sits back again in his booth, suddenly wishing he had a cigarette. This man is so deep in the closet that he doesn't realize he's even fucking there. Like, it doesn't do to generalize or make assumptions, but from his perspective? His gaydar is still working as intended.]

That ain't shallow. Looks don't mean everything. And even then...maybe there's just other things you're attracted to.

[He shrugs one shoulder, glancing off to the side.]

I'm not the kind of guy to ask about that. I'm not good with relationships, or...people.

[Ain's gaze shifts to Wolfwood again. He's staring at the cross around his neck, at the way the end of it dips into his collarbone, and he momentarily chews on his bottom lip before setting the glass up on the table.]

Is that right? You were nice enough to me, Mr. Priest. You convinced me to come back, after all. I think you're probably better with people than you give yourself credit for.

...

So, what're you attracted to, then? Do you know?

Wh- me?

[Wait, what is he attracted to? Is he not assuming he's straight?? There's a moment where genuine panic flits across Wolfwood's expression, because while he knows he's gay...that doesn't mean he's out.

...but then, after a second to reflect, he realizes that isn't what Ain is asking. He's asking what, not who, and he's maybe made himself seem unnecessarily suspicious over nothing.

He huffs, ears blazing red as he shoves a fry into his mouth and looks over at the people dancing by the jukebox.]

I mean...I can tell when somebody's good looking, or whatever. But...you know. It's the personality that matters more, right?

[And whether they're a mannnnnnnnnnnnnnwoooman of the lord. Or not.

Yeah.]

[Ain assumes Wolfwood is very straight. Why would he dress like he's trying to get pretty girls to ogle him otherwise? Everyone is straight. Gay people aren't real. They can't do that or they'll go to Hell, it's just a sickness, et cetera... so Ain's assuming, because Wolfwood wears a choker, he is straight and Catholic, even if this town might've made him real rough around the edges.]

Yeah, definitely. ...I guess I don't think about these things much, haha.

[...]

We don't have to talk about it, though. We should dance instead, with everyone else. I've never danced at a jukebox before, but I know a couple of non-northside dances. Uh... I think it's way outdated, but I know the Charleston.

[Oh boy his mom would Kill Him if he admitted he knew any flapper dances, Jesus.]

...haah? You wanna dance? Really?

[This white Christian boy wants to dance? Holy shit.

Well hey, anything to get off that subject. It's making him feel...weird.]

Didn't know you'd be down to boogie. ...but alright. What the hell.

[He gets up from the booth, tossing back the edge of his jacket as he goes.]

You ain't too full to be cuttin' a rug, are ya?

Haha, nope! I could probably eat another burger, honestly.

[Ain???

Either way, he stands up and stretches, then heads toward the little dance floor. It's easy enough to find a spot in the small crowd of couples and friends alike, where they can dance to whatever upbeat songs are playing. They have to leave room in front for people to switch the songs whenever, but that's fine, they can be off to the side, sort of near the corner and the wide open windows. Ain glances into the street real quick, admiring the view — and the rain, it's started to rain — before turning back to Wolfwood.]

Come on! You know how to dance, right?

[Because Ain is going to start doing the Charleston to the next funkiest song on the jukebox unless Wolfwood stops him.]

Me? Course I do.

[.......no. No he does not. He doesn't know the Charleston or any fancy dances like that, really...so the moment they get up there, Ain is already showing him up by just dancing aggressively like he was made for it. The people around him seem impressed, whooping and hollering excitedly when he joins in.

Meanwhile, Wolfwood looks a touch more awkward trying to figure out where to slot in with the activity. Don't get him wrong, he's glad Ain is having a good time since he doesn't seem to get out much...but at the very least he can kindof bop around in place. That counts as dancing, right-]

[...lmao no you don't.]

I think you're lying to me! Come on— [Ain is mid-spin as he says that,] Like this. I'll slow down for you. Put your feet here...

[Ain puts his hands on Wolfwood's shoulders for balance and kicks his feet apart. There are some other people following his guidance when he looks back up.]

And you're going to move your feet in and out like you're clicking your heels together. That's the first step. Then you do two steps forward while making that same clicking-heels motion, and then two steps back...

[He's helping. He'll explain the arm flailing in a second. Apparently he's teaching a class now.]

H-hey, hold on a sec-!

[He did not! Volunteer for this!! He was just going to watch Ain dance and be cute, now he's being dragged into it-

But the best Wolfwood can do is sputter helplessly as Ain puts his hands on his shoulders, instructing him verbally even though he's standing there pigeon toed like he was born with two left feet. While people around them are following his lead, Wolfwood still looks a bit perplexed, his face flushed in a way it hasn't before.]

You make it sound easy. I'm going to end up dragging you down onto your ass-

[He did not, but he wasn't groovin' the way Ain thinks he should, and it's clear that it's Wolfwood who's out of his element for once.]

No, you won't! There's no contact with this. It's about feeling the beat and moving accordingly, see? A little dated, but we can do the twist later, gator!

[Ain goes back to his dancing, spinning around and flailing his arms from side to side, cheerful, happy. He's laughing, especially as Wolfwood seems to get more nervous by the minute here. It's funny. It's... cuuuu...te...? Mmmm anyway he's having a damn giggle-fit over this. Hilarious.]

It's easy if you start slow and speed up. Come on, put your back into it!

[Yes he will. Somehow, even without contact, he knows he's going to kill them both trying to dance. It is simply inevitable. But even as he's struggling and soft of flopping around like a dead fish, Ain is...laughing. Unlike those times before when he seemed so small, nervous, and unsure, all of a sudden he is the one in his element. His smile lights up the entire room and energizes the other patrons to dance even harder, cheering with excitement as their feet hit the floor and yet more people come up to dance with them. Even with the rain making it dreary outside...the inside of the diner is positively hopping, thanks to Ain.

And Wolfwood tries to move along with him, completely struck by it all. He feels a little silly at first, but given the fact that barely anyone is left sitting at this point, he's less insecure about making mistakes. He follows Ain's lead as best he can, kicking out his heels and nearly slipping on the linoleum a few times as he goes.

He and Ain spin around in unison and he very nearly falls over in the attempt, yet when they meet back in the middle, Wolfwood is...smiling. Laughing.]

[Ain does that soccer mom reflex of trying to catch Wolfwood before he goes down, but luckily he doesn't, and so spinning and flailing will continue, at least until the next set of upbeat songs are over. Wolfwood may have two left feet, but Ain does not. Ain may not be allowed to go to jaunty parties or anything, but he sure has seen dancing on TV and stuff, and he sure picked it up from there.

It's more fun with others. With a friend. Are he and Wolfwood friends? Maybe he'll ask later.

For now: Twirling. Dancing. Spinning, having fun, laughing boisterously. The jukebox eventually does switch to something that requires something a little calmer, and so Ain switches to the twist afterwards, especially because that's less energetic and he's out of breath after like, seven minutes of doing this. The Charleston burns calories like that.

So, while they're doing something easier...]

How do you expect to get a girl if you can't even dance?

[Well that's the thing, Ain. He does not. And neither do you, frankly.]

[Wolfwood has no reason to be this out of breath by the time they're dancing more slowly, especially in his line of work, but he is. Maybe it's because he's just worked up right now, but...ugh. It's...sure something, but he's not sure if he can put his finger on it just now.]

Haha...is dancing the secret?

[He almost seems to be asking this genuinely as they dance, kindof surprised by just how many people Ain has managed to coerce into dancing with them. Like sure, there were a lot of people up here to begin with, but still.

He doesn't know the twist either, unsurprisingly, but this one seems simpler than the Charleston. It's easier to copy Ain's movements, anyway.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject