[Well that's about to become even worse, because as Ain suddenly slips and nearly busts his ass on the platform they have set up here in the middle of town for the dance, Wolfwood reflexively throws his arms out to catch him.
He catches him just like they're in a movie or something, you know the way. Ain is swept down into his arms with his head thrown back, and he's pretty sure somebody whistles in the crowd as it happens.]
[This is the part where you fucking kiss him, Wolfwood. This is the part where you mack on him and tell him he's beautiful—
Ain, at the last second after the shock wears off, giggles and wraps his arms around Wolfwood's neck about this. The whistling does not go unnoticed, but he hardly pays it any mind. He's too busy looking up at Wolfwood like the man put the stars in the sky.]
Hehe... yeah, I'm okay, thanks to a big, strong cowboy catching me.
[And then he gives Wolfwood a little kiss on the cheek. It's not a real kiss, far from it, but...]
[GOD WOLFWOOD ROLLED A FUCKING 3 ON HIS "WILL HE KISS HIM CHECK" I hate him, I hate this man.
So yeah, he fumbles the bag on that one, but that doesn't mean he's leaving Ain completely high and dry. He flashes him a lopsided smirk as his cheek is kissed, and as he helps him up to his feet, he'll let his hands linger on his hips. You're not really supposed to be holding a waltz position when you line dance but he doesn't quite want to let go just yet.]
Big and strong, huh?
[He bonks their foreheads together gently, ignoring the people still trying to dance around them while they clog up the floor.]
No, it's fine, Ain likes hands on his hips. That feels nice. He likes being wanted, please keep wanting him he's so desperate to be wanted aaaaaaa—]
Yes! You already know you are.
[Those biceps, those titties... Wolfwood has to know. Ain is giving the man something of an ego-trip probably, but he doesn't care. He Must make comments.]
Good, 'cause I've got lots of places I wanna go with you.
Wolfwood's lucky he manages to keep his expression level, because Ain saying that makes his heart sink. All of a sudden, he feels far less capable of pulling off this dance than he was even just a minute ago.]
Haha...
[Cool cool cool he's fine everything's fine. There's still time to figure this out, they have all night for him to ignore it, it's fine-
Wolfwood uses his grip on Ain's hips to right him on the dance floor, lingering for just a moment longer before letting go, still holding one of his hands as the live music pauses for a brief moment and the crowd claps and cheers for the performers.]
...mmm... it's getting pretty dark now. We worked up a sweat!
[It's been like, half an hour of dancing, that's plenty of dancing for the average person. Ain threads their fingers together and swings their hands at their sides, happy as a clam.]
Let's go stargaze before we get too tired and don't want to. Come on.
[And he will lead Wolfwood through the crowd, still hand-in-hand.]
[…wait. Fuck. Abort, go back, he’s suddenly realizing that going straight into stargazing might be worse actually-
But Wolfwood has no reasonable argument to give. It would be weird now if he suddenly refused, especially when he wants to go. So, he ignores the dryness in his mouth and the acrid taste in the back of his throat as Ain threads their fingers and leads him back through the crowd, away from the dancers and into the cooler night.
He gives Ain’s hand an unconscious squeeze as they leave the crowds behind, the din of the town growing less and less the further out they walk. He imagines they’re headed to some part outside of town, secluded and quiet.
[Wolfwood if you look inside yourself, something you are incapable of doing, you will learn why you're feeling bad.
Ain, naturally, doesn't pick up on it. He just swings their hands with a skip in his step, up until they get outside the town and the roadway disappears and becomes a dirt road. Not skipping on that, especially not as he keeps walking until they're maybe fifty feet from the town entrance and standing in the cooling sand. A scorpion skitters by in the distance, and Ain watches it for a moment before assessing that the little dude isn't a threat.
Then, he leans against Wolfwood, linking their arms and plopping his head on the man's shoulder. It requires him to take his hat off and loop it around his neck by the cord.]
The skies are always so beautiful at night.
[It's like a canvas, purples and blues and white speckles all over a deep indigo skyline, the only light shining down on them now from the moon itself. It's dark. It's cold. It's a beautiful, cloudless night, and Ain is clinging to Wolfwood like he never wants to let him go.]
[It‘s a sight Wolfwood has seen countless times over his life, wandering the lonely trail out in the desert. Yet, it’s the first time he’s shared it with someone else. It’s the first time he’s seen it in this light.
It’s so, so bittersweet.
He doesn’t say anything for a long time. He doesn’t want to think. He just holds Ain’s arm in return, reaching up to absently lay his hand against his elbow.]
They are. S’easy to forget when you’re on the road long enough, I guess.
I see them every night when I'm on the road, but...
[He squeezes Wolfwood's bicep in his hands. God, he really wants to kiss this man, he really wants to keep him forever, he wants and wants and it's so unfair. They're not talking about the inevitable parting. Ain's convincing himself that he can make Wolfwood stay, despite the fact the next town isn't even that far away. They'll be on the road for one more day and one more night, and then by noon the following day, they'll be there.
Obviously if Ain tries harder, Wolfwood will stay. Wolfwood will want him and they'll get fake-married and it'll be glorious. Ain will stop his streak of crimes and get a real job and Wolfwood will keep doing his odd jobs (haha) and they'll be happy. Everything can be perfect if Ain just sinks his claws in until Wolfwood wants to stay.]
...it feels more special with you here. I don't know. I can't really explain it.
[He can explain it. He's just doing a horrible job.]
[They’re both doing a horrible job, it would seem. One of them far worse than the other.
As Ain admits this to him, Wolfwood feels a deep gnawing in the pit of his chest. It’s an ache that started a while ago before only just now really making itself known. It’s a presence he can’t shake, one that grows heavier and less comfortable with each passing second.
He’s felt guilt before for his actions, be it while knowing what he was doing was wrong, or that he was hurting an innocent in doing it, or whatever else. But the guilt has never been quite as bad as it is right now, he thinks.
He should say something, to head Ain off, but he can’t find the words. Every time he tries he stops himself, too focused on the way Ain is practically clinging to his arm right now.]
[He figures that Ain might want to throw it away after they part and he gets captured, but...that's not going to be Wolfwood's problem anymore. Whatever makes him happy in the interim...that's what matters.
He nods though, inclining his head slightly as he glances back toward the town out of the corner of his eye.]
Prolly should. Unless you wanted to sleep out here with th'scorpions.
Haha, okay. Scorpions aren't dangerous if you don't provoke them, you know.
[But sure, they can go back. Ain holds onto Wolfwood's hand again with their fingers threaded, swinging their hands together as they head through the sand and dirt and back to town. The inn isn't too far from the town entrance, so they won't be out for much longer.]
...thank you. Tonight is a lot better than I thought it was going to be. We'll head out in the morning. I hope you're ready for more time on the road with me!
Wolfwood keeps his gaze staunchly straight ahead as they go, letting Ain swing their hands like they're a real couple or something. It makes his heart stick in his throat as they go, the toes of his cowboy boots digging furrows into the dirt with each step.]
Hah. You kiddin'? It'd be a shame if I wasn't used to you on the road by now.
I dunno, you've gone two days without listening to me make up songs on the road about cacti and buzzards and stuff. Are you sure?
[And then he laughs, because of course he does, he isn't the one bothered by their circumstances after all. Even as they enter the inn, Ain is still swinging their hands and looking chipper as hell.
They get to the room, and he takes the hat off and puts it on top of his bag, and then immediately gets into Wolfwood's things to steal his jacket. Ain doesn't immediately put it on, but rather also puts it with His things now. Stolen. :)
And then he strips down to his undies and flops into bed hi sorry he's slept naked every night this week so he might as well sleep naked now.]
[His jacket is old. It's dirty. It's full of holes, burns, cuts and threadbare spots. It's practically in tatters compared to the new one, yet Ain treats it like it's pristine. He doesn't get it.
As Ain is getting undressed, Wolfwood beelines for the bathroom to have a minute alone. He takes a piss, stares at himself in the mirror for a long while after washing his hands and face, wonders yet again how he got to this point. He wonders, silently, if there's anything else he could do. If he were to abandon his mission and stay with Ain, he'd be putting both of them in danger. He'd have to admit to what he'd done eventually when the gang caught up with them, so he's not sure if that's better or worse. He could also simply steal away in the middle of the night to save Ain the trouble of dealing with him any longer. Or...simply let him go to the mountains. He could just run away and hope his gang never found him.
But none of those options are really that ideal, nor does he expect them to work.
...
He returns from the bathroom down to his boxers, tossing his clothes haphazardly near his things instead of bothering to fold them. They'll be going right back on his body in the morning, after all. From there, he climbs in bed alongside Ain...and wordlessly wraps his arms around him, pulling him to his front.
Wolfwood says nothing, just resting his chin on Ain's shoulder like a big dog.]
[Ain squeaks when he's pulled in. He's not expecting it, clearly, though he's swift to relax into the hold and bonk their heads together from this vantage point. Wolfwood is always so warm... he's like a weighted blanket.]
You're cute. And really sweet... I know I keep telling you I like when you're honest, but I really like when you're honest.
[His response is quiet, his voice low and slightly muffled against the side of Ain's hair as he exhales heavily, trying to will himself to calm down. There's not a whole lot he can do about this feeling, awful and primal and gnawing in his gut, other than confess everything to Ain before it's too late and hope that maybe he'd forgive him. Even if he didn't, at least it would mean he's safe, after everything.
But if he's honest with himself, Ain is already wanted. He probably knows good and well his ass isn't safe anywhere.]
[Ain giggles, half-awake at this point, but clearly he's giddy just hearing that. Not... As giddy as he would be if Wolfwood would have come out with a returned "I like you" or maybe even a stronger word at that, but it helps to hear that Wolfwood thinks highly of him. He's just one man, okay, Ain is out here trying his best.
He squishes Wolfwood up in a hug.]
...I just wanna cuddle with you tonight. I know I'm usually trying to get into your pants at any one moment, but I...
I want you to hold me all night instead, haha... Is that okay?
...yeah. That's fine with me. I'm still kinda hungover, so. Prolly for the best.
[Hungover and not in the mood because of reasons, but he's not going to tell him that.
Instead? He grabs at the sheets to pull them more securely over the two of them, his arms wrapped around Ain in a sleepy embrace that he's never offered him before.
At least tonight, they can just cuddle. If Ain wants to cuddle, he is getting Fucking Cuddlled.]
[There's silence for a moment, and then Ain lifts his head up and places a sweet, delicate kiss on Wolfwood's lips. A goodnight kiss, almost, but... But more. There's emotion behind it that Ain isn't giving voice to, holding onto Wolfwood as his eyes drift shut.]
Goodnight, Nick. We'll leave in the morning. ...sleep well, okay?
Wolfwood, meanwhile, hurts. He feels like he doesn't deserve any of it as he curls up in that warmth with Ain, keeping his eyes shut so he can maybe wake up from this nightmare already.]
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He catches him just like they're in a movie or something, you know the way. Ain is swept down into his arms with his head thrown back, and he's pretty sure somebody whistles in the crowd as it happens.]
Woah there. Easy. You alright?
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Ain, at the last second after the shock wears off, giggles and wraps his arms around Wolfwood's neck about this. The whistling does not go unnoticed, but he hardly pays it any mind. He's too busy looking up at Wolfwood like the man put the stars in the sky.]
Hehe... yeah, I'm okay, thanks to a big, strong cowboy catching me.
[And then he gives Wolfwood a little kiss on the cheek. It's not a real kiss, far from it, but...]
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So yeah, he fumbles the bag on that one, but that doesn't mean he's leaving Ain completely high and dry. He flashes him a lopsided smirk as his cheek is kissed, and as he helps him up to his feet, he'll let his hands linger on his hips. You're not really supposed to be holding a waltz position when you line dance but he doesn't quite want to let go just yet.]
Big and strong, huh?
[He bonks their foreheads together gently, ignoring the people still trying to dance around them while they clog up the floor.]
Keep flatterin' me, it'll get you everywhere.
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No, it's fine, Ain likes hands on his hips. That feels nice. He likes being wanted, please keep wanting him he's so desperate to be wanted aaaaaaa—]
Yes! You already know you are.
[Those biceps, those titties... Wolfwood has to know. Ain is giving the man something of an ego-trip probably, but he doesn't care. He Must make comments.]
Good, 'cause I've got lots of places I wanna go with you.
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Wolfwood's lucky he manages to keep his expression level, because Ain saying that makes his heart sink. All of a sudden, he feels far less capable of pulling off this dance than he was even just a minute ago.]
Haha...
[Cool cool cool he's fine everything's fine. There's still time to figure this out, they have all night for him to ignore it, it's fine-
Wolfwood uses his grip on Ain's hips to right him on the dance floor, lingering for just a moment longer before letting go, still holding one of his hands as the live music pauses for a brief moment and the crowd claps and cheers for the performers.]
Didja wanna keep dancin'? Or...
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[It's been like, half an hour of dancing, that's plenty of dancing for the average person. Ain threads their fingers together and swings their hands at their sides, happy as a clam.]
Let's go stargaze before we get too tired and don't want to. Come on.
[And he will lead Wolfwood through the crowd, still hand-in-hand.]
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But Wolfwood has no reasonable argument to give. It would be weird now if he suddenly refused, especially when he wants to go. So, he ignores the dryness in his mouth and the acrid taste in the back of his throat as Ain threads their fingers and leads him back through the crowd, away from the dancers and into the cooler night.
He gives Ain’s hand an unconscious squeeze as they leave the crowds behind, the din of the town growing less and less the further out they walk. He imagines they’re headed to some part outside of town, secluded and quiet.
But why does he feel so…bad?]
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Ain, naturally, doesn't pick up on it. He just swings their hands with a skip in his step, up until they get outside the town and the roadway disappears and becomes a dirt road. Not skipping on that, especially not as he keeps walking until they're maybe fifty feet from the town entrance and standing in the cooling sand. A scorpion skitters by in the distance, and Ain watches it for a moment before assessing that the little dude isn't a threat.
Then, he leans against Wolfwood, linking their arms and plopping his head on the man's shoulder. It requires him to take his hat off and loop it around his neck by the cord.]
The skies are always so beautiful at night.
[It's like a canvas, purples and blues and white speckles all over a deep indigo skyline, the only light shining down on them now from the moon itself. It's dark. It's cold. It's a beautiful, cloudless night, and Ain is clinging to Wolfwood like he never wants to let him go.]
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It’s so, so bittersweet.
He doesn’t say anything for a long time. He doesn’t want to think. He just holds Ain’s arm in return, reaching up to absently lay his hand against his elbow.]
They are. S’easy to forget when you’re on the road long enough, I guess.
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[He squeezes Wolfwood's bicep in his hands. God, he really wants to kiss this man, he really wants to keep him forever, he wants and wants and it's so unfair. They're not talking about the inevitable parting. Ain's convincing himself that he can make Wolfwood stay, despite the fact the next town isn't even that far away. They'll be on the road for one more day and one more night, and then by noon the following day, they'll be there.
Obviously if Ain tries harder, Wolfwood will stay. Wolfwood will want him and they'll get fake-married and it'll be glorious. Ain will stop his streak of crimes and get a real job and Wolfwood will keep doing his odd jobs (haha) and they'll be happy. Everything can be perfect if Ain just sinks his claws in until Wolfwood wants to stay.]
...it feels more special with you here. I don't know. I can't really explain it.
[He can explain it. He's just doing a horrible job.]
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As Ain admits this to him, Wolfwood feels a deep gnawing in the pit of his chest. It’s an ache that started a while ago before only just now really making itself known. It’s a presence he can’t shake, one that grows heavier and less comfortable with each passing second.
He’s felt guilt before for his actions, be it while knowing what he was doing was wrong, or that he was hurting an innocent in doing it, or whatever else. But the guilt has never been quite as bad as it is right now, he thinks.
He should say something, to head Ain off, but he can’t find the words. Every time he tries he stops himself, too focused on the way Ain is practically clinging to his arm right now.]
Y…yeah. No, I…I think I know what you mean…
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Ain's snuggling doesn't abate. He's happy, he wants to cuddle, he's looking at the stars and at Wolfwood and feeling good, finally.]
I still want your old jacket. [He says, more as a side note than anything.] Y'know, since it smells like you.
[Squishes Wolfwood's arm again.]
...you sound like you wanna head back.
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Soon as we get back to the Inn, it's all yours.
[He figures that Ain might want to throw it away after they part and he gets captured, but...that's not going to be Wolfwood's problem anymore. Whatever makes him happy in the interim...that's what matters.
He nods though, inclining his head slightly as he glances back toward the town out of the corner of his eye.]
Prolly should. Unless you wanted to sleep out here with th'scorpions.
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[But sure, they can go back. Ain holds onto Wolfwood's hand again with their fingers threaded, swinging their hands together as they head through the sand and dirt and back to town. The inn isn't too far from the town entrance, so they won't be out for much longer.]
...thank you. Tonight is a lot better than I thought it was going to be. We'll head out in the morning. I hope you're ready for more time on the road with me!
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Wolfwood keeps his gaze staunchly straight ahead as they go, letting Ain swing their hands like they're a real couple or something. It makes his heart stick in his throat as they go, the toes of his cowboy boots digging furrows into the dirt with each step.]
Hah. You kiddin'? It'd be a shame if I wasn't used to you on the road by now.
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[And then he laughs, because of course he does, he isn't the one bothered by their circumstances after all. Even as they enter the inn, Ain is still swinging their hands and looking chipper as hell.
They get to the room, and he takes the hat off and puts it on top of his bag, and then immediately gets into Wolfwood's things to steal his jacket. Ain doesn't immediately put it on, but rather also puts it with His things now. Stolen. :)
And then he strips down to his undies and flops into bed hi sorry he's slept naked every night this week so he might as well sleep naked now.]
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As Ain is getting undressed, Wolfwood beelines for the bathroom to have a minute alone. He takes a piss, stares at himself in the mirror for a long while after washing his hands and face, wonders yet again how he got to this point. He wonders, silently, if there's anything else he could do. If he were to abandon his mission and stay with Ain, he'd be putting both of them in danger. He'd have to admit to what he'd done eventually when the gang caught up with them, so he's not sure if that's better or worse. He could also simply steal away in the middle of the night to save Ain the trouble of dealing with him any longer. Or...simply let him go to the mountains. He could just run away and hope his gang never found him.
But none of those options are really that ideal, nor does he expect them to work.
...
He returns from the bathroom down to his boxers, tossing his clothes haphazardly near his things instead of bothering to fold them. They'll be going right back on his body in the morning, after all. From there, he climbs in bed alongside Ain...and wordlessly wraps his arms around him, pulling him to his front.
Wolfwood says nothing, just resting his chin on Ain's shoulder like a big dog.]
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You're cute. And really sweet... I know I keep telling you I like when you're honest, but I really like when you're honest.
[HAHA... HA... ahem.]
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[His response is quiet, his voice low and slightly muffled against the side of Ain's hair as he exhales heavily, trying to will himself to calm down. There's not a whole lot he can do about this feeling, awful and primal and gnawing in his gut, other than confess everything to Ain before it's too late and hope that maybe he'd forgive him. Even if he didn't, at least it would mean he's safe, after everything.
But if he's honest with himself, Ain is already wanted. He probably knows good and well his ass isn't safe anywhere.]
...m'sorry. 'Bout everythin'.
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[Squishes his face into Wolfwood's chest.]
...I like you. I want you to like me, too. That's why I was getting so hurt.
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It's right there. It's so easy.
But how can he say that when everything he's done is built on a lie?
He tightens his grip around Ain a little, closing his eyes tight.]
You're...a great person. I don't really deserve you.
[As a friend? As a partner?]
But I woulda' continued livin' a lie if I hadn't met you.
[Well. More of a lie than he is now.]
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[Ain giggles, half-awake at this point, but clearly he's giddy just hearing that. Not... As giddy as he would be if Wolfwood would have come out with a returned "I like you" or maybe even a stronger word at that, but it helps to hear that Wolfwood thinks highly of him. He's just one man, okay, Ain is out here trying his best.
He squishes Wolfwood up in a hug.]
...I just wanna cuddle with you tonight. I know I'm usually trying to get into your pants at any one moment, but I...
I want you to hold me all night instead, haha... Is that okay?
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[Hungover and not in the mood because of reasons, but he's not going to tell him that.
Instead? He grabs at the sheets to pull them more securely over the two of them, his arms wrapped around Ain in a sleepy embrace that he's never offered him before.
At least tonight, they can just cuddle. If Ain wants to cuddle, he is getting Fucking Cuddlled.]
I got you.
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God, Ain's really feeling it now.]
Okay.
[There's silence for a moment, and then Ain lifts his head up and places a sweet, delicate kiss on Wolfwood's lips. A goodnight kiss, almost, but... But more. There's emotion behind it that Ain isn't giving voice to, holding onto Wolfwood as his eyes drift shut.]
Goodnight, Nick. We'll leave in the morning. ...sleep well, okay?
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Wolfwood, meanwhile, hurts. He feels like he doesn't deserve any of it as he curls up in that warmth with Ain, keeping his eyes shut so he can maybe wake up from this nightmare already.]
Mmmhm. You too.
[...]
Night.
[Hopefully Ain gets more sleep than he does.]
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sees that typo I made while half asleep, closes my eyes
chi was eepy
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