[Closed] @eidxiety ††

[winterbolt]

u get the small baby bird icon this time

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[lupusxylem]

Mmhhm, you could say that.

[He's supposed to be patrolling turf today, so technically he's still on the clock...but it's fine. He can keep an eye out for bullshit while he's in the diner, and it's not like much happens on a weekday. It's events like the outdoor market that you usually have to look out for. Ain is better off assuming Wolfwood has some kind of boring normal job instead of being part of the mafia, it's fiiine.

Into the diner they go, and...pretty much immediately, nearly everyone takes notice. Not of Ain, but of Wolfwood, who is a recognizable face as one of Chapel's head men. Everyone better be on their best behavior while Wolfwood is here...but as long as nobody in here plans on committing any crimes in front of him (that haven't been authorized), then it's fine! Nobody has anything to worry about.

But also: who the hell hasn't had a milkshake in their life before. What the fuck. Is Ain Okay.

Wolfwood picks a booth at the very back of the diner, tilting his head as he catches the song playing on the jukebox just as a waitress brings them two menus. He clicks his tongue, pushing a menu towards Ain as he gets up.]

I'm gonna change the music to something else. You can go ahead and look at what they got.

[eidxiety]

[My eternal rage that we can't do seven "What's New Pussycat" and one "It's Not Unusual" because those songs came out after the 50s—]

Oh? Do you not like this song?

[Wolfwood is already gone. Ain doesn't know this song anyway. It sounds funky. Something you'd groove to for sure.

He glances over the menu. Uhh... well, nothing's wrong with a bacon burger and fries and a chocolate shake, right? Or should he do strawberry? Oh, he kind of wants strawberry, actually. The picture on the menu shows sprinkles and a cherry on top of the whipped cream. It looks so kiddish. He wants seventy—

Whenever Wolfwood gets back, Ain eagerly points out the milkshakes like they're something New and Exciting and not the most popular drink of this era.]

These are sweet, right?

[help him please god someone help him]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood would have 100% done this-

With a quarter from his pocket, Wolfwood swaps to another tune on the jukebox, which gets even more people up on their feet pretty much right away. That wasn’t his aim, necessarily, but if they want to boogie that’s their prerogative. It’s something more upbeat anyway, which is what he’s after.

He returns to the booth and slides into it just in time for Ain to ask…]

…huh? Did you just ask if a milkshake is sweet? What kindof milkshakes are you drinkin’ up north?

[eidxiety]

[This is a lot more upbeat. Ain wiggles in his eat a bit, watching people dance off in the distance before his attention snaps back to Wolfwood.]

Um... none? Haha, is that odd? I've just never had one before... They're ice cream, right? They're not sour and strange?

[...]

Anyway, I think I'll try the bacon burger.

[Ain you say the most unhinged yet sad shit, you know that right]

[lupusxylem]

[No yeah that is genuinely THE saddest thing he’s ever heard in his life. His family is religious and all but he’s had a milkshake of all things.]

What ice cream is sour??

[Who is feeding him?????? Or, if he hasn’t had ice cream, who is lying to him-

The waitress returns to their table while Wolfwood is busy being extremely baffled, prompting him to make a snap decision when ordering.]

The diner’s signature burger for me. The one with the fried egg. And a strawberry milkshake for this one.

[eidxiety]

I'm not saying ice cream is sour! But you know how they make sour things with milk? [SOUR CREAM IS NOT SOMETHING YOU DRINK] That's why—

[Oh the waitress is here. And— Wolfwood read his mind on the drink, okay, sure, he supposes he was pointing at the strawberry one in the picture but still.]

And I'll take a bacon burger and fries. Thank you, miss.

[...okay she's gone. Ain kicks Wolfwood's shin under the table, playful, and props his chin up in his palm and his elbow on the table.]

How'd you know I didn't want vanilla, huh? [His tone is equally teasing. He definitely wants strawberry.]

[lupusxylem]

[The way Ain kicks his shin is unexpected, but not unwelcome. He curses softly, yet that smirk on his lips remains as he readjusts in his seat in the booth, chin propped up in his hand.]

You pointed right at it. And I saw you eyeballing the sprinkles. I’d be asking if you were four, but it’s sad enough you’ve never had one that I’m not questioning it.

[Seriously Ain what did your parents feed you-]

[eidxiety]

[If Wolfwood were not a man of rank here, people would be looking at them. Actually... people are, but in a way that's like "who's this little prep school guy with the greaser". Like, Wolfwood, a man of rank, has just Some Guy here and they're having dinner? Does this prep school guy do some back alley drug trades what the hell—

Anyway, Ain ate like, lobster and stuffed turkey (which apparently was rich people food?!) growing up, and mom was very much the type of person to insist on "cutting out the sugar to avoid her children getting hyperactive", which might explain why Ain has such a sweet tooth now that she can't exactly stop him.]

Huh? It's not childish to like things like sprinkles now, is it? [Don't test him he'll deploy the pout again.] You need to lighten up if you think that!

[lupusxylem]

Kinda, yeah.

[He’s still smirking, still looking at Ain like he’s less somebody he’s dealing drugs with and more somebody he’s just. Having dinner with? What the fuck.

Good news is, even if people see and think it’s weird, they’ll know better than to snitch to the boss. Not unless they want to end up in the river with cement shoes tomorrow, anyway…but it’s not like there’s enough evidence to really say what their meeting is about, anyway. Not enough for anyone to care.

They notice, but they look the other way. It’s fine.]

I think you’ll like it, if you like enough sugar to make your teeth rot that is.

[eidxiety]

The red fruits are my favourites. Strawberries, cherries, apples...

[In another 200 comments Ain will discover he can buy strawberry lipgloss and it's gonna be Over for Wolfwood.]

Things like that. I didn't eat a lot of sweets growing up, but my teeth are fine, I'll have you know. I like chocolate, too, but it's not as good as strawberries, therefore strawberry ice cream is superior to chocolate.

[Those are Ain's Food Opinions. He doesn't have many of them. He'll eat anything, really.]

[lupusxylem]

[“I like the red fruits” he says like an alien, and Wolfwood wonders if he was sheltered or if his parents were just super strict about candy or whatever. Some are.]

People eat strawberries with chocolate all the time, yaknow.

[You can have strawberries and make them both sweeter AND more unhealthy. Wow.]

You got fries with your burger too, right? There’s something I wanna show you when your shake comes out.

[Which isn’t long, since the milkshake comes before the food does. It reminds Wolfwood he didn’t order a drink because he was distracted, so he asks the waitress to add a soda to his order and just bring it with the food.]

[eidxiety]

[They're all red, what the fuck! He's just generalizing so you understand! Why are you mean! Anyway, he's a Northside kid, so... Both of those can be true.

The shake comes, and their food will be a few minutes or so after. Ain did not expect it to be this large, served in a big glass with a colorful paper straw that looks wider than your average one would be. He immediately goes for the cherry on top, biting it off the stem and chewing before he sets the stem on a napkin. Then he responds to Wolfwood.]

Sure, sure.

[What could fries and a shake have anything to do with each other........ Ain is stirring it around now, and then, out loud:]

Oh, it's thick! [dude]

[lupusxylem]

Yeah, they tend to do that.

[Shit. He’s…cute? He’s cute. Wolfwood wants to ruffle his hair and toy with that stupid braid. Ugh.

Stop it. Stop thinking that shit. That gets you nowhere fast, just thinking down miserable paths he can never follow-]

This place makes em’ the thickest in town. I hear they hand churn it every day.

[Honestly diners like these are known for their shakes. Almost everyone eating here has one, that or a soda in a glass bottle.]

Might not be able to drink it right away. Wait for it to melt a bit first.

[eidxiety]

[Oh noooo too bad Ain is straiiiight and he's about to prove it with this move he's doing—]

Haha, really? But it clings to the straw. [He pulls said straw halfway out of the glass as an example, where the concoction has obviously glued itself there — that's sort of what happens when you have a super frozen drink like this.] I can probably at least begin to eat it like this.

[He's impatient, he wants to try it, and just before their food arrives — literally maybe thirty seconds before the waitress rounds the corner and sees this — Ain does a very classless thing, pulling the straw out fully and shoving that whole thing into his mouth to eat the ice cream off of it that way. He basically is deepthroating this straw.

It gets pulled out when it's licked clean and plopped back into the glass. Ain's only exclamation after is—]

Oh, wow, that's really good!

[lupusxylem]

[Their waitress, expertly balancing both plates between her hands as well as the soda, sort or hesitates beside the table as Ain deep throat’s that straw in front of god and everyone. Even Wolfwood, as collected as he’s managed to be so far, can’t help the way his jaw drops. This guy has no gag reflex. He’s just doing this in PUBLIC.

He manages to remember to close his mouth as she politely sets their plates down a moment later, prompting him to sit back and immediately snatch a fry off his own plate.]

W-well. It’s about to be better.

[He shoves the fry into Ain’s milkshake, gives it a good dunk, then pulls it back out and eats it. He settles back against the booth again with a nod towards his shake, still more ice cream than milk.]

Go on. Try it.

[eidxiety]

[This waitress rly out here like "just guys bein guys" because this is probably not the first time today she's seen people doing this, but like. Ain is giving Wolfwood gay alarm, clearly.

No, he does not have a gag reflex. He has pretty freckles all over his skin, in patches that aren't visible under his clothes too, and soft pink lips, and now he's licking whipped cream off of the tip of his finger as Wolfwood dunks his fries into the drink. Wolfwood has his work cut out for him with this one.]

...seems a little strange, but alright. [Shut up caviar-eating rich boy good god. Either way, Ain picks up a fry and sticks it into the pool of melting strawberry ice cream, gives it a cursory glance, and then pops it into his mouth. He chews, contemplative... does it again. He'll be three fries in by the time he chirps,] It's good! Haha!

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood likes to think he has a pretty strong and accurate gaydar, and Ain is setting it off badly. If he were at gunpoint and forced to make a choice, he’d say that Ain is gay, just deeply closeted. There’s one way to find out, but. Hm.

Well, at least he enjoyed the fry thing. He figured he would, since he likes sweet things. Just don’t mind him stealing more of your shake with his own fries Ain, this is an indirect kiss dwbi-]

I told you.

[He’s going to go for his burger now though, make sure you don’t fill up on that shake Ain.]

So…Ain, right?

[It’s his first time saying his name.]

What’s your deal, huh? What do you do?

[Do you have a girlfriend-]

[eidxiety]

Yeah, Ain.

[No last name you don't get a last name he doesn't want these rough southsiders to turn on him.]

I do... a lot, I guess. I'm a doctor, but I'm still in residency, and I'll be in residency for another five years. But I have authorization to do most things anyway. [You know, because how do you learn if you can't do.] My eldest brother owns the practice, so my residency is under him. We're about seven years apart, so it's not really a case of taking over his practice when he retires in the far future, but more that I was inspired by his career choice as a teenager, I guess?

[Ain tends to want to do the things the people close to him are doing. The fact that he picked up doctoring because his brother did it first is unsurprising; the fact that he wound up liking helping people in the end speaks more to Ain's character.]

I kind of want to go into work at a hospital instead of a private practice, but I'm going to try to finish my residency first. Otherwise, I work as a priest, too, and I told you already I sing in the church choir. Um... I like gardening and reading books. I want to learn how to play the guitar... I think that's it. I feel like I don't really do anything outside of those things, haha.

[lupusxylem]

You're a doctor? I never woulda' guessed.

[It seems to track for Ain, though. He's kind and personable, all things a doctor should be. The fact he's also a priest just kindof makes sense too, thinking on it. The guy's hella religious, he's pegged him for that by now.]

I'm a priest too, actually. But more than that, I'm an Undertaker. You probably won't have seen me unless you've had a death in the family recently.

[Because in this AU, it's not just a lie or a cover, he does do this. He's licensed and everything.]

But, yaknow...it's my job to be the religious figure that steps in when someone's passed, pray over them and with the family, you know. Then I bring them to the morgue once the coroner's checked 'em over.

[Good dinner conversation. He takes another bite of his burger, the yolk running down the side and onto the plate.]

I don't really have any hobbies like that, except for my bike maybe.

[eidxiety]

Yeah, and with the rate I'm going at, I might be able to open my own practice just before I turn 30. But, like I said, I'd rather just work at a hospital. Our clinic only sees patients as a general practitioner, and I want to move on to greater stuff, like being able to fix broken bones. I haven't decided about surgery, haha.

[Yes, it is a lovely conversation to have over dinner. Ain stuffs his face with his burger as Wolfwood talks. The bacon is salty as hell, but it's... it's good. He thinks this is actually really good. And he does not make an ass of himself by eating it with a fork and knife, because those were not provided and he saw Wolfwood just wholesale pick his up, so. Here Ain is.]

Mr. Priest... [Here we fuckin go again.] Or Mr. Undertaker. Haha, maybe in the future, we'd have a good business partnership between us? [oh yeah definitely just that mmhmmm] Mm, I guess I'd have to open my own place though, huh. Lame.

[Ain doesn't want to be the person that manages the funds and the patients, he'd go insane. Fuck that noise. "You own the practice" yeah bye.]

When you say bike, do you mean a bicycle or a motorbike?

[lupusxylem]

Theoretically. I'm not really the guy you want to be seeing though, am I?

[Haha. This is both figurative and literal.

Also thank you for eating this burger with your hands as god intended, otherwise the entire diner would have been staring at them weirdly.]

We'd probably still see each other even if you didn't own the business. Just not as much.

[Munch munch. He quirks a brow when Ain presses for clarification.]

It's a motorbike. You ever ridden on one?

[eidxiety]

No. Isn't it dangerous?

[Mom says motorcycles cause a lot of death because the people who drive them are dangerous gangsters of no real refinement. They kill civilians for fun and love to cause car crashes in the name of Satan. Sin. Sin sin sin sin sin, is all his mother is on about.]

Like, if you crash in one, that's pretty much it, right? [He doesn't want to tell Wolfwood that he's not being very Godly driving one of those death machines, but...] You're being safe, aren't you? You're not speeding? You're not jumping over dumpsters??

[Ain what kind of stunt driver bullshit have you been watching hello]

[lupusxylem]

[Oh Ain. You poor, sweet summer child.]

They can be. But that's why you gotta wear helmets, and leather.

[Sort of. Gestures to himself.]

It keeps you from getting cheese-grated on the pavement if you did fall off the bike. Otherwise though it's no more dangerous than driving a car, really.

[He........does not answer if he speeds. Because yes he speeds.]

[eidxiety]

Oh...

[So THAT'S why you're dressed like a punk right now, Wolfwood. You're not a greaser... you're just being safe. Ain understands everything.]

So, your motorcycle is your hobby, then? Do you paint it? Or do you do mechanic work? Both? I don't know anything about that sort of thing, haha. Machinery isn't really my forte.

[lupusxylem]

I do...a little bit of tinkering on her, yeah.

[Her...?]

It'd be way too expensive if I took her to the shop every time I needed something done. She's been painted yeah, but she's just like...black, so it's nothing fancy or anything.