[Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[winterbolt]

Angelina is a black horse with white markings on her face in this sorry I can't picture her as being any other color-

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[eidxiety]

[If he's cute enough maybe Wolfwood will want to stay with him instead of leaving, thinks Ain, whose mood has shifted from angsty to cheerful like. Immediately, honestly, now that Wolfwood is giving him attention. Amazing how that works.]

Haha, good. I'm trying to be cute. And now that you said it while sober, you can't take it back for real this time.

[Ain's hair, meanwhile, just gets fluffier than it was already. So thanks for that—]

[lupusxylem]

Who said anythin' about takin' it back?

[Even sober, he never took back the nice things he said about Ain. He just said them less frequently. Less openly.

Wolfwood will lapse into a brief silence from there as they eat. It's a lot nicer now to be able to when the atmosphere between them isn't quite so tense and uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean things are yet okay. There's still this massive elephant in the room...the knowledge that this is probably the last full day they'll spend together. If they leave tomorrow, or even tonight...they'll part at the next town, which Wolfwood wagers isn't even as far off as this one was from their starting point.

Maybe he just won't think about it right now. He'll cross that bridge when he gets to it, and just finish his dinner for the time being, which gets pretty much demolished once he gets the appetite to actually finish it all.]

Did you wanna do anything in this town tonight? You're the one who checked it out, and all.

[eidxiety]

[Ain, as always, is a fucking vacuum cleaner of a man. His food is done before Wolfwood's and he sort of just lays against the guy for the rest of the time. They're not talking about the separation because it won't happen!! He has seduced Wolfwood, this is his now and obviously nothing bad will happen. What a great day to be Ain.]

I thought you wanted to lay in bed all day?

[He did scope out the town. Most of it, anyway. A good chunk for sure.]

...I heard that there's gonna be square dancing in the town square tonight. They said there would be a bluegrass band playing on the flyers. But if you don't want to dance... We could go out past the town gates and stargaze for a while. We didn't do much of that on the road.

[lupusxylem]

I mean, yeah. I could go back to bed, honestly.

[His head still hurts. His body hurts. He feels like he's 50 and not in his mid 20s.

He's set his empty plate and utensils aside, his hands curled loosely in his lap.]

Tell ya what. We'll just do both. Then we can head on in the mornin'.

[It's their last night. He'll make it count, leave Ain with a positive memory of him...and then hope against hope that he never connects what happens next to the cowboy he met at the saloon one day.]

[eidxiety]

[Ain looks So happy about this, genuinely. Possibly even heartbreakingly happy, since Wolfwood's still going through with The Plan over here. Ain doesn't know, quite obviously, he's merely thrilled to be living in he moment.

So, Wolfwood gets a hug. Hope that makes you feel worse—]

Okay! You have to get dressed, then!

[Bounces away to put makeup on, sorry Wolfwood he knows you don't like this but he can't be super masc right now.]

[lupusxylem]

[Haha it sure does!!!

But...he thinks, maybe, he can come up with a reasonable enough sounding excuse that he can't go with him. He's just going to have to think hard about it while Ain is in the bathroom.

He sighs heavily to himself, the ghost of Ain's arms around him making him feel...bad. Real bad. He's not sure how he ended up getting himself into this situation, but he sure fucking did it, and now he has to lay in the bed he's made. Maybe they can have a good time tonight, if nothing else.

The funny thing is, Wolfwood doesn't mind Ain wearing more feminine, revealing clothes sometimes. It just sucks that he has to look so much like a woman and can't just be himself in those clothes. That's the part that he doesn't like, he thinks. Meanwhile, he's out here his usual slob self, wearing the same blazer he bought with Ain the other day.]

[eidxiety]

[He loves his slob :) It's a terrible day to love.

Ain is still wearing his riding slacks and shirt, it gets too cold in the evenings and especially nighttime to go in anything else, but he's at least got blush and lipstick on and has subtly painted his eyes. A MAN wouldn't do this, makeup is for WOMEN, blah blah blah, so here he is! Pretty and Gender and going to have a great time tonight. He's got Wolfwood's old hat on and everything.]

Are you ready? We have to walk for a while to reach the town square. C'mon.

[lupusxylem]

[A terrible day to love :(

Wolfwood is at least going to get himself dressed and cleaned up a little while Ain puts on his makeup, which. Again, slob, but he at least looks a bit less like a hungover mess, save for the heavy dark bags under his eyes.

And one of the differences Ain is going to get here is Wolfwood reaching for Ain's hand to take. They're supposed to be masquerading as a couple, after all.]

Yep. I'm right behind you.

[Maybe he can shake off this grim feeling as they go.]

[eidxiety]

[Good luck with that king, the guilt is gonna eat you alive.

Ain gleefully takes Wolfwood's hand in his and leads the way, though, swinging them as they walk. Now they're getting "what a cute couple" looks from people, even though Ain was out earlier being like yes my darling husband who is a piece of shit is being a piece of shit. Anyone who saw him then is gonna be like girl did you fix it or is he still a piece of shit, too bad divorce isn't real but you can poison his whiskey—

Anyway there's no poisoning here, there's only Ain being chipper as they walk down the road. The gathering isn't hard to spot. It's not like the whole town is out tonight, but it's not a small gathering either. It looks like the men with their banjos are already playing, and people are already dancing under the lantern light, and Ain is!! So excited to be here!! And is dragging Wolfwood into the middle of the crowd to dance.]

[lupusxylem]

[Oh, there are. Not a LOT of people here, but also a non-zero amount of people here at the same time. Which is...a little bit nervewracking on top of everything else, if he's honest!!

And now Ain is dragging him into the crowd immediately, hang on-]

W-woah, hey-

[He doesn't know how to dance!! Does Ain know how to dance??? aaaa

Never mind line dancing, but it can't be all that hard when it seems like a very specific order of steps that people keep following over and over.]

[eidxiety]

[Ain knows how to dance! As he will demonstrate to Wolfwood in a second tbh, he is Quite skilled at it. Ain naturally finds his rhythm and just goes for it, but don't worry, Wolfwood isn't the only inexperienced dancer here. There are lots of people with two left feet. Men teaching women, women teaching men, the whole thing.

Ain will learn Wolfwood a thing about dancing, mark his words. As they go, he offers helpful tips like—]

No, no, you have to stick your heel out more! Like this!

[And then he'll laugh whenever Wolfwood tries it, whether he's successful or not.

They don't have to do it right. It's not a contest. It's just for fun, it's just to have a great time, and honestly... Ain is having a wonderful time with Wolfwood tonight.]

[lupusxylem]

[Oh, it's not going to be successful. He'll follow Ain's instructions, attempting to kick out his foot here, or do a spin there along with the crowd, but it's just...bad. He's clumsy, and he ends up bumping into Ain as he tries, but even in spite of himself Wolfwood catches himself laughing as it happens, reaching out to take Ain briefly by the shoulders so he doesn't fall on his ass.

They're not being stared at, because there are plenty of others struggling, which does help soothe Wolfwood's ego. If maybe just a little.]

Oi, I'm gonna step on your feet if you ain't careful, darlin'.

[eidxiety]

Oh, I'm "darlin'" now? Haha!!

[He looks beyond thrilled at this. Don't look now Wolfwood but homeboy is showing signs of Feelings for you, better run away as fast as you can— (he's been showing signs of feelings, but now they're more prominent).]

If you step on my feet, that's how you learn. I'm trying not to step on yours too, you know.

[which fails in like, two seconds here, because he does indeed step on Wolfwood's foot and nearly fall the fuck over about it, oops]

[lupusxylem]

[Well that's about to become even worse, because as Ain suddenly slips and nearly busts his ass on the platform they have set up here in the middle of town for the dance, Wolfwood reflexively throws his arms out to catch him.

He catches him just like they're in a movie or something, you know the way. Ain is swept down into his arms with his head thrown back, and he's pretty sure somebody whistles in the crowd as it happens.]

Woah there. Easy. You alright?

[eidxiety]

[This is the part where you fucking kiss him, Wolfwood. This is the part where you mack on him and tell him he's beautiful—

Ain, at the last second after the shock wears off, giggles and wraps his arms around Wolfwood's neck about this. The whistling does not go unnoticed, but he hardly pays it any mind. He's too busy looking up at Wolfwood like the man put the stars in the sky.]

Hehe... yeah, I'm okay, thanks to a big, strong cowboy catching me.

[And then he gives Wolfwood a little kiss on the cheek. It's not a real kiss, far from it, but...]

[lupusxylem]

[GOD WOLFWOOD ROLLED A FUCKING 3 ON HIS "WILL HE KISS HIM CHECK" I hate him, I hate this man.

So yeah, he fumbles the bag on that one, but that doesn't mean he's leaving Ain completely high and dry. He flashes him a lopsided smirk as his cheek is kissed, and as he helps him up to his feet, he'll let his hands linger on his hips. You're not really supposed to be holding a waltz position when you line dance but he doesn't quite want to let go just yet.]

Big and strong, huh?

[He bonks their foreheads together gently, ignoring the people still trying to dance around them while they clog up the floor.]

Keep flatterin' me, it'll get you everywhere.

[eidxiety]

[Wolfwood......................

No, it's fine, Ain likes hands on his hips. That feels nice. He likes being wanted, please keep wanting him he's so desperate to be wanted aaaaaaa—]

Yes! You already know you are.

[Those biceps, those titties... Wolfwood has to know. Ain is giving the man something of an ego-trip probably, but he doesn't care. He Must make comments.]

Good, 'cause I've got lots of places I wanna go with you.

[lupusxylem]

[...ah.

Wolfwood's lucky he manages to keep his expression level, because Ain saying that makes his heart sink. All of a sudden, he feels far less capable of pulling off this dance than he was even just a minute ago.]

Haha...

[Cool cool cool he's fine everything's fine. There's still time to figure this out, they have all night for him to ignore it, it's fine-

Wolfwood uses his grip on Ain's hips to right him on the dance floor, lingering for just a moment longer before letting go, still holding one of his hands as the live music pauses for a brief moment and the crowd claps and cheers for the performers.]

Didja wanna keep dancin'? Or...

[eidxiety]

...mmm... it's getting pretty dark now. We worked up a sweat!

[It's been like, half an hour of dancing, that's plenty of dancing for the average person. Ain threads their fingers together and swings their hands at their sides, happy as a clam.]

Let's go stargaze before we get too tired and don't want to. Come on.

[And he will lead Wolfwood through the crowd, still hand-in-hand.]

[lupusxylem]

[…wait. Fuck. Abort, go back, he’s suddenly realizing that going straight into stargazing might be worse actually-

But Wolfwood has no reasonable argument to give. It would be weird now if he suddenly refused, especially when he wants to go. So, he ignores the dryness in his mouth and the acrid taste in the back of his throat as Ain threads their fingers and leads him back through the crowd, away from the dancers and into the cooler night.

He gives Ain’s hand an unconscious squeeze as they leave the crowds behind, the din of the town growing less and less the further out they walk. He imagines they’re headed to some part outside of town, secluded and quiet.

But why does he feel so…bad?]

[eidxiety]

[Wolfwood if you look inside yourself, something you are incapable of doing, you will learn why you're feeling bad.

Ain, naturally, doesn't pick up on it. He just swings their hands with a skip in his step, up until they get outside the town and the roadway disappears and becomes a dirt road. Not skipping on that, especially not as he keeps walking until they're maybe fifty feet from the town entrance and standing in the cooling sand. A scorpion skitters by in the distance, and Ain watches it for a moment before assessing that the little dude isn't a threat.

Then, he leans against Wolfwood, linking their arms and plopping his head on the man's shoulder. It requires him to take his hat off and loop it around his neck by the cord.]

The skies are always so beautiful at night.

[It's like a canvas, purples and blues and white speckles all over a deep indigo skyline, the only light shining down on them now from the moon itself. It's dark. It's cold. It's a beautiful, cloudless night, and Ain is clinging to Wolfwood like he never wants to let him go.]

[lupusxylem]

[It‘s a sight Wolfwood has seen countless times over his life, wandering the lonely trail out in the desert. Yet, it’s the first time he’s shared it with someone else. It’s the first time he’s seen it in this light.

It’s so, so bittersweet.

He doesn’t say anything for a long time. He doesn’t want to think. He just holds Ain’s arm in return, reaching up to absently lay his hand against his elbow.]

They are. S’easy to forget when you’re on the road long enough, I guess.

[eidxiety]

I see them every night when I'm on the road, but...

[He squeezes Wolfwood's bicep in his hands. God, he really wants to kiss this man, he really wants to keep him forever, he wants and wants and it's so unfair. They're not talking about the inevitable parting. Ain's convincing himself that he can make Wolfwood stay, despite the fact the next town isn't even that far away. They'll be on the road for one more day and one more night, and then by noon the following day, they'll be there.

Obviously if Ain tries harder, Wolfwood will stay. Wolfwood will want him and they'll get fake-married and it'll be glorious. Ain will stop his streak of crimes and get a real job and Wolfwood will keep doing his odd jobs (haha) and they'll be happy. Everything can be perfect if Ain just sinks his claws in until Wolfwood wants to stay.]

...it feels more special with you here. I don't know. I can't really explain it.

[He can explain it. He's just doing a horrible job.]

[lupusxylem]

[They’re both doing a horrible job, it would seem. One of them far worse than the other.

As Ain admits this to him, Wolfwood feels a deep gnawing in the pit of his chest. It’s an ache that started a while ago before only just now really making itself known. It’s a presence he can’t shake, one that grows heavier and less comfortable with each passing second.

He’s felt guilt before for his actions, be it while knowing what he was doing was wrong, or that he was hurting an innocent in doing it, or whatever else. But the guilt has never been quite as bad as it is right now, he thinks.

He should say something, to head Ain off, but he can’t find the words. Every time he tries he stops himself, too focused on the way Ain is practically clinging to his arm right now.]

Y…yeah. No, I…I think I know what you mean…

[eidxiety]

[Yeah how does guilt feel, Wolfwood, he's being so squishy and loving with you and you're gonna get him murdered—

Ain's snuggling doesn't abate. He's happy, he wants to cuddle, he's looking at the stars and at Wolfwood and feeling good, finally.]

I still want your old jacket. [He says, more as a side note than anything.] Y'know, since it smells like you.

[Squishes Wolfwood's arm again.]

...you sound like you wanna head back.