dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety 🐉🐉🕊️

[Lol lmao even...

Add sighs, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose while Ain keeps himself frustratingly turned away. Like come on why are you so shy about your dick, it's-

Okay it's a LITTLE weird, maybe that's why he wants to cover it up actually-]

For one, as I mentioned, you could easily have your penis injured or worse with one wrong move or accident. Then, you'd never be able to mate again. Never mind the fact the cold makes gaining and keeping an erection much more difficult than if it were kept warm by your own body heat. You also lack natural lubricant. Yours is incredibly dry.

[He's turned away from you because he's worried that he's gonna get a stiffy with you raking your gaze over him like that!]

I assure you, when I'm covered up, I'm actually pretty warm! It's warm!! [it's warm right now because they keep talking about it] So it's not a big deal for humans! And it's not like I've had sex anyway!!

[Just. Blurts that out. Somehow he gets redder, and he goes back to scrubbing.]

[Add is getting so many mixed messages here...and now he's looking at the back of Ain's head like ???]

What do you mean you haven't? Aren't you the Prince?

[That's like, the human equivalent of being an Alpha. EVERYONE wants to have sex with you because you're strong and have a lot of power and stuff??]

I— it's outlawed in my kingdom to be gay! Who would I have sex with?!

[Squeak squeak squeak Wolfwood is definitely gonna hear this conversation with how much the pitch of Ain's voice rises, even despite the waterfall likely muffling 95% of it. He's a nervous little mouse. A flustered baby bird. Chirp chirp.

Help.]

[Yeah Wolfwood absolutely hears this, and it gets to the point where he ends up coming in there because from his perspective, he's worried Add snapped and is attacking him or something-

He walks in to see Ain bathing at the waterside with Add sitting nearby looking bewildered. It's a very confusing sight, considering.]

What's goin' on in here?

I was trying to figure out how his penis could possibly function-

[Wolfwood's brows furrow.]

Add. You can't say that.

He doesn't have a SHEATH, Wolfwood!!

[Aaaand then suddenly the black dragon is stomping over, here he comes-]

What!? Lemme see-

[MMMMM.]

It's— humans don't have that! It's not weird! [baby it's a little weird, 99% of the creatures on earth have internal junk and yours just flops out like that all the time.] I assure you it functions just fine!

[He's still facing the water, so Wolfwood might have to walk closer to see.]

[Yeah Wolfwood isn't letting that stop him, he's coming over. And when Add notices Wolfwood just getting in Ain's space...Add's on his feet, suddenly, his tail whipping behind him.]

Oi! He won't let me see it, what makes you think he'll let you??

[Wolfwood, meanwhile, ignores his mate as he leans over to try to Look at Ain.]

Ain't you cold though...?

[Barely passed his "roll to not have a stiffy" check btw. The DC will be lower the longer this continues. His dick is like "men are looking :)" and Ain's like "NONONONO NOT RIGHT NOW!!!! DOWN BOY!!!!"

So anyway, Wolfwood will get a glance only because he is In Ain's space, and Ain isn't really fighting him on it, too flustered to do anything other than sit there and try to explain that his cock is Functioning.]

No, no, it's not... I promise you it's warm. That's why we wear clothing, though, because we're not great at retaining heat most of the time. I'm not cold next to this spring. I'm fine.

[Well if Wolfwood is getting a glance, Add wants a glance too. Fucking move over.

The funny thing is, they're not- at least not YET- trying to look to be perverse. They're literally baffled by this knowledge, and are crowding him like curious birds seeing an uneaten chip on the ground.]

From an evolutionary standpoint, it's incredible humans are still around.

He just said they wear clothes so their dicks don't fall off. That's why, they're like...injeenotive.

...Ingenuity.

I did not say that.

[He said they wear clothing to retain heat oh my godddddd]

You guys make it really difficult to bathe...! Humans aren't having problems surviving I think. [Sigh... they're just curious, he knows they are, but it doesn't make him less nervous.] Can I answer any other questions that aren't about how cold it may or may not be?

[There's a pause...Add kindof tilts his head a little, folding his arms across his chest again. Lest Ain forget, he has a dragon on either side of him, both standing while he's sitting on the ground, both also completely naked. Both ALSO with long tails and wings and everything.]

Does it get any longer when erect?

[Someone failed his check and might just be showing by examples, or would be, if he weren't currently squeezing his thighs together and putting his dirty clothing over himself conveniently to "wash" them in the spring. Hmph!!]

Yes.

[As his scramble to cover himself up likely reveals.]

[Wolfwood and Add share a glance over Ain's head. They both might be dumb on a good day, but they're not stupid. At least, not collectively. It's hard to miss the way Ain is very pointedly keeping himself covered now, when at least before the pair could sneak glimpses of his little human cock. Now, though? He's completely hidden it away...

Cute.

Wolfwood rumbles in his chest, his tail flicking back and forth across the floor as he leans over a little at the hips, looking at Ain sidelong even though he knows Ain won't look at him.]

Since you don't got a sheath, it doesn't need to "come out". It just stands up, right?

[Are they just being curious? Teasing him on purpose? It's hard to say...]

[Vultures, the lot of you. Ain focuses on scrubbing the muck out of his clothing, which will have to hang to dry after this, but... ugh, maybe he can just live by the waterfall until it's dry. Or something.

Scrub, scrub... the dried blood isn't going to come out, but maybe he can lessen the damage a touch.]

Basically. All the blood vessels will fill up more... [Ain does not know this, but dragons can probably Smell horny, so. RIP him. No one tell him—] ...and that's sort of why that happens, as we understand it.

[Maybe if he talks in a flat, sciencey tone...]

[Yeah, that's the problem...they absoLUTELY can smell it. Sorry Ain. Even if you hide yourself...they Know. They are Quite Aware, and they both seem to realize they're the issue here.

Add clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the fluffy end of his tail sweeping the floor now. He takes his turn to lean in close, asking almost against Ain's ear.]

Can we see?

["AHFKLJEFKJFKDJklfj" goes Ain's entire brain, as he quite nearly drops his entire shirt into the water and has to scramble to pull it back onto his lap. The oblivious minnows swim up sometimes to nibble at the fabric like "is dis a food?" and, in this case, Ain scares them with how abruptly he moves.]

In case you forgot, I'm injured right now. I don't know if you playing with me is a great idea.

[Inb4 Add's like "it's okay I'll stitch it back up when we're done" or something equally as unhinged,]

Who said you had to move...? Or do anythin'?

[Wolfwood asks, his voice a rolling purr as he presses a hand lightly between the back of Ain's shoulders.]

We're just curious. We've never seen a human's length before, and I think Add wants to write a book about it.

Shut up.

Point bein'...we'll leave if you want so you can finish up in here. But we just wanna look...

[He thought you guys were looking for WOMEN HUMANS!!! Human GIRLS with TITTIES and PUSSIES!!! Because these things are not Ain and ahaehffugh he cannot believe his stupid-ass ape brain is like "let the dragons who kidnapped you touch you it's okay they're Nice and Hot". He also cannot believe that his first experience with other men is going to be two completely not-human men who are a foot or more taller than him.

Thank god he just washed up or else he'd feel too grody to give permission, but also! Also!!!

With his face burning, Ain squeaks out:]

Fine, but you're embarrassing me. I can't help how I react to things...

[The accidental boner, he means. He's flustered and his dick is like :) hi]

[LISTEN OKAY- LOOK- They are, they were, but like...they've never seen a human cock before! They want to see it!! Stop having it be closed!!! You don't know, maybe they don't plan on doing anything indecent, they just want to look, Wolfwood said...

But with permission granted, both dragons are suddenly on the ground beside him, one on each side on their knees. Add first gestures for Ain to sit back a bit so there's no risk of him falling in the water, and while this happens Wolfwood will sneak his claws forward to try to take the clothes away that Ain's covering himself with.

Yoink.]

[Ain is screaming inside presently, thank you very much Wolfwood— he just barely scoots away from the water, giving up for now on laundry, when the shirt he was holding is yanked away.

Yeah, he's got a little bit of a stiffy right now! Surprise!! It's only gotten worse the longer he's entertained them, actually, so perhaps "a little bit" is not accurate anymore. Half-hard, maybe. Very excited about men.

It was a matter of time.

He cannot believe he's at the point in his life where he wants to fuck dragons.

Ain very quickly hides his face in both hands. Don't perceive him :( he told you he was gay and had no experience! He said you guys were hot! What do you want from him—]

[Don’t worry Ain you’ll get your clothes back! Just not right now. They’re being placed aside for the time being as both dragons lean in close, because the scent of Ain’s arousal is now too powerful to ignore. They will not be telling him this, at least not yet. Perhaps eventually…

For now, Add makes a low, surprised sound in the back of his throat.]

I guess you didn’t lie. It did get bigger.

Yeah, but it’s still pretty small. Cute…look at the way it sits over his nuts.

[I’m sorry Ain this is your future for the next however fucking long because they are not stopping-]

It’s still pretty dry. Mostly. The tip isn’t, but that’s to be expected.

[…

Then Wolfwood, unprompted, gives a soft, horrified gasp:]

Where’s his knot!?

[You'd think as a man Ain would feel ashamed having his dick called small, but like... no actually he's, uh... he knows he won't compare to two dragons so he can't even be mad. Of course he's Cute and Small to them.

Ain is half-tempted to close his legs, if only because he's so flustered, though. He swears to God his dick has a mind of its own. It's out here like "yes I am cute, and I'll twitch at you sometimes :D" and Ain's out here like why why why why why.]

Humans don't have knots. We're not wolves...

[.......from where he's still hiding in his hands:]

Dragons have knots???

[The two answer in unison:]

Yeah?

I’m starting to think humans are just evolutionary miracles at this point.

Seriously. How’s this supposed to stay in long enough without a knot?

[Wolfwood says, suddenly reaching in without warning to very gently poke Ain’s cock with the side of his finger.]

I— hnn! — I don't know, it apparently works just fine considering there are so many of us...

[Something about human evolution making breeding really fucking easy, not that Ain has ever looked that up because he is afraid of vaginas and children.]

I haven't ever had sex, and I don't like girls, so I can't actually tell you for certain... [and if they keep talking about Girls and Breeding (real and not kinky breeding) he's gonna go soft again. Watch out boys.]

[Don’t worry Add is to the rescue because he’s probably just as scared of vaginas as Ain and just doesn’t realize it-

While Wolfwood is on Ain’s other side looking him over, Add suddenly comes in on the opposite, sitting next to Ain so he can literally compare Ain’s shape to his own. He’s still hidden in his sheath, but he’s trying to imagine how large Ain’s theoretical sheath might have to be to contain his cock…hm hm.]

Lack of a knot aside…humans also only have one. But I’m pretty sure that’s exclusive to dragons anyway, so they can’t take the blame for that one.

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