[Closed] @eidxiety 🐉🐉🕊️

[winterbolt]

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[eidxiety]

Whoa...

[It's so beautiful, Ain thinks. There's a natural spring in here? Fresh water and everything? Are there little fishies who have fallen over the edge of the waterfall, he wonders? He really wishes he could swim in it, but that's for another day, when he's not injured and bandaged. Although he doesn't know what to wash off with, if he's honest, but maybe just scrubbing down with his hands will do for now.

He sits there, on the edge of the pool, wondering how it's warm in here versus the rest of the cave. Maybe the bedding, or the spring has something going on, he doesn't know. He's not a man of science, he's a man of flowers and music.

Slowly, he starts to unbutton his silk shirt, the one that's currently blood-stained and would be better off forming rags if he didn't lack clothing entirely.]

It's pretty, especially with all the glowing plants. I've never seen something like this before...

[dyn4m0]

This room was why we decided to make this our territory. We'd never seen anything like it either.

[Add sits down nearby, intending to supervise so Ain doesn't fall in and drown. In this AU, he has no qualms about nudity whatsoever, so he's sitting there cross-legged with his sheath and balls still Out, not thinking about the fact Ain might want privacy here.

Ain may notice there are indeed little fish in the pond, though they're mostly tiny minnows and the like. The water itself is warm because the spring itself is just warm naturally, so he won't have to worry about contracting hypothermia while bathing here.]

This spring is both our drinking and bathing water. If we didn't have it, we wouldn't be able to stay here.

[eidxiety]

I get it.

[Pretty and functional... And full of cute little fishes which Ain happily squeals over before he finishes undressing. It's... Awkward, maybe, having Add there — but dragons lack his hangups, so Ain will have to get over that, too. He just has to strip down...

Ow his side.

...he does, eventually, get undressed fully and start to scrub himself down with his hand cupped and his nails scratching off any stubborn dirt spots. Annoying compared to using a cloth, but that's the outdoors for ya.]

[dyn4m0]

[.....................oh.

As Ain undresses, Add...can't help but notice his cock just kindof...flopped out there? He's NEVER seen this before, on any creature human or otherwise. So maybe, hopefully, Ain doesn't notice him full-on staring at his crotch for a few seconds before he decides whether or not he should say something. Like, maybe it's a birth defect? Is he deformed...?]

......where is your sheath?

[Hi he's been looking at your dick sorry]

[eidxiety]

[Hi????]

Oh— uh, humans don't have... ...whatever you guys have.

[He's Noticed, obviously. Ain is no stranger to objectifying men. He used to visit the knights just to Stare at them, although they thought he was being So Nice And Sweet making sure they were happy, but uh. No it was because he wanted to watch them walk around topless. Add and Wolfwood make that... Much easier, because they don't care.]

[dyn4m0]

[Oh Add looks Very Distressed suddenly-]

All humans are like that!? You don't have some kind of deformity???

[You know just declaring that with his full chest nbd.]

A sheath protects you from injury!!

[eidxiety]

Unless I'm sorely mistaken about other humans... yeah. We do. We're not deformed, we just look like this. It's, um... otherwise functional? It works??

[He squeaks those last two statements out, thinly-veiled as questions like he's not sure how else to explain this, and swiftly turns back to face the water. Y'know.

Away from Add, who is now getting a full view of Bubble Butt.]

[dyn4m0]

[His butt...well not being able to see his cock anymore does make Add's mental notes he's taking harder to, well, take, but he did get plenty of an eyeful a moment ago. Ain has the same parts they do, he just...1) lacks a sheath for protection and 2) only has. Uh. ONE of them. Among other things.

He frowns, folding his arms over his chest.]

Not only is that incredibly inefficient, it's impractical for survival. How is it supposed to function if you're freezing cold all the time?

[Dicks don't work as well when it's cold, ask him how he knows!!!]

[eidxiety]

[Ain is red from the tips of his ears to the tops of his shoulders right about now. It has nothing to do with the spring and everything to do with the hot man interrogating him about if his dick works.]

It functions. And that's what clothes are for...! Humans don't have a lot in the way of body hair or scales or anything, so we have to wear clothes. [And, because Ain isn't considering what the results of this next question could possibly be, he blurts out:] How is any of this inefficient?

[dyn4m0]

[Lol lmao even...

Add sighs, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose while Ain keeps himself frustratingly turned away. Like come on why are you so shy about your dick, it's-

Okay it's a LITTLE weird, maybe that's why he wants to cover it up actually-]

For one, as I mentioned, you could easily have your penis injured or worse with one wrong move or accident. Then, you'd never be able to mate again. Never mind the fact the cold makes gaining and keeping an erection much more difficult than if it were kept warm by your own body heat. You also lack natural lubricant. Yours is incredibly dry.

[eidxiety]

[He's turned away from you because he's worried that he's gonna get a stiffy with you raking your gaze over him like that!]

I assure you, when I'm covered up, I'm actually pretty warm! It's warm!! [it's warm right now because they keep talking about it] So it's not a big deal for humans! And it's not like I've had sex anyway!!

[Just. Blurts that out. Somehow he gets redder, and he goes back to scrubbing.]

[dyn4m0]

[Add is getting so many mixed messages here...and now he's looking at the back of Ain's head like ???]

What do you mean you haven't? Aren't you the Prince?

[That's like, the human equivalent of being an Alpha. EVERYONE wants to have sex with you because you're strong and have a lot of power and stuff??]

[eidxiety]

I— it's outlawed in my kingdom to be gay! Who would I have sex with?!

[Squeak squeak squeak Wolfwood is definitely gonna hear this conversation with how much the pitch of Ain's voice rises, even despite the waterfall likely muffling 95% of it. He's a nervous little mouse. A flustered baby bird. Chirp chirp.

Help.]

[lupusxylem]

[Yeah Wolfwood absolutely hears this, and it gets to the point where he ends up coming in there because from his perspective, he's worried Add snapped and is attacking him or something-

He walks in to see Ain bathing at the waterside with Add sitting nearby looking bewildered. It's a very confusing sight, considering.]

What's goin' on in here?

I was trying to figure out how his penis could possibly function-

[Wolfwood's brows furrow.]

Add. You can't say that.

He doesn't have a SHEATH, Wolfwood!!

[Aaaand then suddenly the black dragon is stomping over, here he comes-]

What!? Lemme see-

[eidxiety]

[MMMMM.]

It's— humans don't have that! It's not weird! [baby it's a little weird, 99% of the creatures on earth have internal junk and yours just flops out like that all the time.] I assure you it functions just fine!

[He's still facing the water, so Wolfwood might have to walk closer to see.]

[lupusxylem]

[Yeah Wolfwood isn't letting that stop him, he's coming over. And when Add notices Wolfwood just getting in Ain's space...Add's on his feet, suddenly, his tail whipping behind him.]

Oi! He won't let me see it, what makes you think he'll let you??

[Wolfwood, meanwhile, ignores his mate as he leans over to try to Look at Ain.]

Ain't you cold though...?

[eidxiety]

[Barely passed his "roll to not have a stiffy" check btw. The DC will be lower the longer this continues. His dick is like "men are looking :)" and Ain's like "NONONONO NOT RIGHT NOW!!!! DOWN BOY!!!!"

So anyway, Wolfwood will get a glance only because he is In Ain's space, and Ain isn't really fighting him on it, too flustered to do anything other than sit there and try to explain that his cock is Functioning.]

No, no, it's not... I promise you it's warm. That's why we wear clothing, though, because we're not great at retaining heat most of the time. I'm not cold next to this spring. I'm fine.

[dyn4m0]

[Well if Wolfwood is getting a glance, Add wants a glance too. Fucking move over.

The funny thing is, they're not- at least not YET- trying to look to be perverse. They're literally baffled by this knowledge, and are crowding him like curious birds seeing an uneaten chip on the ground.]

From an evolutionary standpoint, it's incredible humans are still around.

He just said they wear clothes so their dicks don't fall off. That's why, they're like...injeenotive.

...Ingenuity.

[eidxiety]

I did not say that.

[He said they wear clothing to retain heat oh my godddddd]

You guys make it really difficult to bathe...! Humans aren't having problems surviving I think. [Sigh... they're just curious, he knows they are, but it doesn't make him less nervous.] Can I answer any other questions that aren't about how cold it may or may not be?

[dyn4m0]

[There's a pause...Add kindof tilts his head a little, folding his arms across his chest again. Lest Ain forget, he has a dragon on either side of him, both standing while he's sitting on the ground, both also completely naked. Both ALSO with long tails and wings and everything.]

Does it get any longer when erect?

[eidxiety]

[Someone failed his check and might just be showing by examples, or would be, if he weren't currently squeezing his thighs together and putting his dirty clothing over himself conveniently to "wash" them in the spring. Hmph!!]

Yes.

[As his scramble to cover himself up likely reveals.]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood and Add share a glance over Ain's head. They both might be dumb on a good day, but they're not stupid. At least, not collectively. It's hard to miss the way Ain is very pointedly keeping himself covered now, when at least before the pair could sneak glimpses of his little human cock. Now, though? He's completely hidden it away...

Cute.

Wolfwood rumbles in his chest, his tail flicking back and forth across the floor as he leans over a little at the hips, looking at Ain sidelong even though he knows Ain won't look at him.]

Since you don't got a sheath, it doesn't need to "come out". It just stands up, right?

[Are they just being curious? Teasing him on purpose? It's hard to say...]

[eidxiety]

[Vultures, the lot of you. Ain focuses on scrubbing the muck out of his clothing, which will have to hang to dry after this, but... ugh, maybe he can just live by the waterfall until it's dry. Or something.

Scrub, scrub... the dried blood isn't going to come out, but maybe he can lessen the damage a touch.]

Basically. All the blood vessels will fill up more... [Ain does not know this, but dragons can probably Smell horny, so. RIP him. No one tell him—] ...and that's sort of why that happens, as we understand it.

[Maybe if he talks in a flat, sciencey tone...]

[dyn4m0]

[Yeah, that's the problem...they absoLUTELY can smell it. Sorry Ain. Even if you hide yourself...they Know. They are Quite Aware, and they both seem to realize they're the issue here.

Add clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the fluffy end of his tail sweeping the floor now. He takes his turn to lean in close, asking almost against Ain's ear.]

Can we see?

[eidxiety]

["AHFKLJEFKJFKDJklfj" goes Ain's entire brain, as he quite nearly drops his entire shirt into the water and has to scramble to pull it back onto his lap. The oblivious minnows swim up sometimes to nibble at the fabric like "is dis a food?" and, in this case, Ain scares them with how abruptly he moves.]

In case you forgot, I'm injured right now. I don't know if you playing with me is a great idea.

[Inb4 Add's like "it's okay I'll stitch it back up when we're done" or something equally as unhinged,]