dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[Screams. Screaming-

Now the question is, is Ain going to be thinking about working while he’s with Wolfwood? Sure, he won’t be making money if he’s sucking that dick instead of a stranger’s, but also—

Wolfwood…is not expecting Ain to shoot up taller than he is as he stands, and it causes him to swallow visibly as he watches him walk around to test the shoes out. You don’t often see women taller than their suitors walking around in the wild west, so…uh.

Yeah. Ain is about to turn some heads.]

I…yeah. I like ‘em…

[That depends, because money is good but he can get it without dick (he just reaaaaaaally likes dick) (also it makes it easy to steal when the person is unconscious because the dick was so bomb). He could sing, of course, that's quite easy, and it wouldn't get them arrested.

Hmm hmm...]

I'll wear them out, I think.

[Which would be a good way to steal, but they've been making such a damn racket it would be impossible. Clothing is always hard to steal anyway.]

Do you need anything else?

[The entire wild west is about to develop a Tall Woman Fetish, as the world wants from them, but lo and behold it's just Ain—]

[Is there anything else in here he wants? Hm...

He looks over towards the men's section again. Lots of rugged clothing over there. Hems, haws...

Plucks a hat from the rack. It's new, not dissimilar to his current hat, a sort of faded black leather meant to look aged. His own hat is full of things like bullet holes, tears, and frays from age...which he takes off his head, beats over his knee to get the dust off, and plops it on Ain's head, keeping the new one in hand.]

I've been needin' a new hat.

[Hat!! Hat for Ain! This is his hat now and Wolfwood is never getting it back, he will wear it for the rest of the day.]

Ooh, I like it. It matches your jacket!

[Pretty... handsome cowboy... Ain is making eyes at this man even though he should not be making eyes at literally anybody right now.

If Wolfwood is done here, they can go pay with their stolen coinpurse, which has more than enough money in it to pay for stuff. Lots of silver dollar coins, enough for them to get lunch if they really want to. Or buy more things. Their crimes are between them and god at this point.]

[Oh, good. He didn't make a big deal out of that. He doesn't have to think about how gay what he just did was-

With his new hat and jacket purchased, and Ain with his old hat and a new pair of shoes, they buy them all by using stolen money- basically getting it for free- and head out. It's not deserved, all this stuff they have, but that isn't stopping them at this point. Wolfwood sure as hell doesn't care, and as long as they can keep a low profile.......it'll be fine.

It's fine.

About as fine as Ain being taller than him is, good god.]

You happy?

Uh-huh!!!

[He is very happy, in fact! And very tall! Those shoes put him a couple inches over six feet, and as they walk through the crowd, someone comments that he's a "corn-fed bitch" passively. Like damn that is a tall lady.

Ain whistles joyfully as they head down the street, unbothered by people either looking at him like "eugh, tall lady (neg)" or "ohhh tall lady (horny)" or "wtf bitch got legs (neutral)". He is still clinging to Wolfwood's arm, which uh, definitely makes Wolfwood look like a purse doggy in comparison but that's fine. Surely his toxic masculinity will let him live this one down.]

I want your old coat when you're done with it. It smells like you, haha.

[Oh now we're owning our emotions?? Couldn't do that earlier but now we're doing it???]

[Surely!! It's fine, later tonight they'll go to the saloon and Wolfwood will get so sloshed on whiskey that he probably won't care how he looks anymore. He does of course catch the comments every so often made by people when he's able to hear them, ranging from comments he agrees with to ones he...finds himself feeling weirdly defensive over, actually? What is it saying about him and his toxic masculinity that he's bristling at the people who are like "eugh, tall lady"? Like, no?? First of all, fuck you, second, he's not a lady, third, if he was him being tall wouldn't-

...wait.

Dial up sounds happening in his brain decades before internet was invented...]

Huh?

[He's pulled out of his thoughts when Ain comments on wanting his coat, prompting him to actually look over at him as they pass through the thoroughfare.]

Tch...you want it cause it smells like me? I ain't so sure that's a good thing.

Aha, but you smell so masculine?? In a "I drink too much" way, but still. I like it.

[Wrap him in your scent you testosterone-addled homophobe, he wants it.]

When you gave it to me last night, it was all warm and smelled like you, too. I dunno how to explain why I liked it, I just did.

[The inherent romance of breathing in someone's scent but neither of them are very romantic etc etc.

Anyway, they're headed down the strip while Ain tries to painstakingly explain "I like you" without actually saying those words because, uh, he is love-phobic now thank you very much... and someone catcalls him. It was going to happen eventually because Patriarchy but God.]

[Just wait until Ain actually says "I love you" out loud to Wolfwood with his mouth and Wolfwood doesn't say it back, oops-

Don't look now though! Ain's being catcalled! And Wolfwood...

He will swear up and down later it's because he's keeping up appearances, but his reaction is immediate and reflexive. He snarls like a wolf, baring his teeth in a grimace at the man who did that.]

Fuck off.

[Ain isn't really bothered by it on account of... like, he knows he looks good, he knows he was going to solicit commentary from crass people, and usually he also encourages it because it gets him money and attention. He's content to be like "whatever" until Wolfwood snarls at the guy, who skedaddles immediately when he realises there's opposition. Those types always do, but...

What catches Ain off-guard is the fact that Wolfwood is defending him? Even if it's for appearances, they could've just walked on, no big deal, Ain wouldn't have been offended either way.

Why?? It's not like they're really growing closer, probably, maybe? Ain is a loveless thief and Wolfwood is, as far as Ain knows, someone who does weird things for money, and they have no reason to be together other than the fact that they happen to be going the same direction.

It makes his face heat up. Uh?? Uhhhh???]

...it's fine, just ignore those people. That happens to me a lot.

Don't matter. Assholes like that need t'be taught a lesson, otherwise they'll just keep doin' it.

[Since when did Wolfwood care, though? He's never really gone out of his way to help like this before, not just in Ain's case, but for anyone...but it's like they're really a couple, and he's being...

...possessive.]

[... He's being possessive. Protective, even. Ain does not want to put words to what he's feeling about that, but it's so...

Safe? It's so safe. He feels so looked after.

His will to steal all of Wolfwood's stuff astronomically shrinks. Ohhhhh no, this is so bad. This is so bad for his health.

...]

Thanks. Uh— let's just keep going, I'm sure people will calm down eventually. You'd think they've never seen someone tall wearing a skirt before.

[Don't say he makes you feel safe don't say he makes you feel things in general don't say anything no speaking—]

[Wolfwood, meanwhile, is still trying to puzzle out why he said what he said. Did what he did. He never felt that strongly about whatever other people were doing before, and it's not like they're...a thing.

So why? He...isn't sure he has an answer. He just knows that guy catcalling Ain pissed him off, so he said something. It seems simple enough, when he thinks about it in that light.]

Tch. Yeah. They prob'ly think you're some kinda whore.

[........implying he isn't-????? Wolfwood you met Ain while he was like, literally singing at a saloon and also implied to be prostituting, hello-]

Just cause you're some pretty thing in a skirt...

Um...

[Yes Wolfwood, he does be whore! It's how he makes money aside from the crime!

Ain won't correct him, he'll just keep leading them forward. It looks like there's something of a park up ahead... It's not grassy, but there are trees to spend time under and people watch, and Ain does love to people watch. There's also a real pretty lake, too.]

Am I pretty?? To you? Or just in general?

[Hahaha...fuck. Uh.

Wolfwood looks away as they walk, his words caught in the back of his throat as he finds himself struggling to say what he wants to say. He knows his answer- it's right there, and he'd say it easily if he wore his heart on his sleeves- but he's hesitating because...well. You know.

Homophobic.

...hang on, he's going to fumble in his jacket pocket for a cigarette, which is Ain's dead giveaway he's nervous. He smokes to calm down.]

I mean. Yeah. You're...I mean. Look at you.

[Uh huh keep going sweetie]

[How do those rings feel in there baby, they heavy?]

...yeah? I'm glad. I really wanted you to think so.

[He didn't get dressed up for no reason! And he's going to steer them toward a bench by the lake... Maybe it's more of an oasis actually, but either way, they have more of an excuse to sit down since Wolfwood is now smoking and most decent store owners don't want people smoking in their shops.]

You already know I think you're attractive. I don't know if I need to say it again. It'll probably inflate your ego.

[Fortunately for this conversation not getting swerved to "wait HOW much did you steal", Wolfwood's cigarettes are in his inner pocket, not the outer ones that are holding the stolen rings. He'll get to those later tonight though, rest assured, and upend his coat like Ain what the fuck. For now, though...maybe he notices it's a little heavier than usual, but the gay thoughts are too strong for his deductive reasoning to actually be working properly.

Anyway, here they are at this oasis of sorts, and after they've been on the road for so long, it's...a sight to behold. It's plenty hot out...it makes you want to go take a dip. Instead of doing that, Wolfwood sinks into a (manspreading) sit on the bench, pulling out his cigarette lighter so he can get himself lit up, taking a few deep drags before he responds because Ain just called him attractive and he didn't hate it.

Ffffffffuuuuuck.]

Hah...yeah, well. That much was already obvious...

[Is how he decides to cover himself, leaning back now that he's got his cigarette lit.

Leaning back, and putting his arm across the back of the bench.]

That you have an ego, or that I think you're good-looking? Haha...

[He sits down on the bench, right in the spot Wolfwood leaves open with his arm over the back like that, and cuddles up close. You know, as he's been doing, despite telling himself he needs to not do that. Even if Ain were to sit far away, he thinks he'd naturally gravitate over to Wolfwood anyway, like a moon to earth's gravity.]

Oases are so pretty... do you think there's frogs in there? Or snakes? Or... what lives in an oasis, a fish?

[just a singular fish.]

[That metaphor is sooo fucking gay why are you so gaaay

Wolfwood leans back, tilting his head up to exhale smoke towards the sky with his cigarette still clenched between his teeth. He'd offer Ain a drag, but he mentioned before he didn't usually smoke...so he'll refrain, unless he actually asks for a hit.]

Both.

[Both, he says, and chooses to not elaborate.

Anyway, oasis. He tilts his head, looking back down towards the water.]

Prob'ly not fish this far out. But definitely snakes. Maybe frogs, but I dunno, I ain't a frog expert.

[They just gotta be Moist.]

Ooh...

[Creatures... Ain wants to go look for creatures, but he's going to sit here first with Wolfwood and lay his head on his chest. It requires him to sort of... slant himself across the bench, but that's fine, no one else is here.]

Do you think the snakes are venomous? I want to go find one.

[AIN THERE ARE COPPERHEADS OUT HERE]

…Ain. Pretty much every snake you’ll find out there will kill you so much as look at ya.

[Reflexively

Shifts a little closer? To Ain? Don’t die???]

Do not go pickin’ up snakes.

Yeah, but rattlesnakes don't swim, do they?

[No but they fucking drink water! Do not go spelunking in the oasis!!!]

You can hear them! They start shaking their rattles at you before they strike. I've seen them before, and I haven't had any issues.

[How are you alive.]

Buuuut, if you're going to get closer to me every time I say that I'm going to go pick up a snake with my bare hands... [winks] Then I'm toooootally going to pick up a rattlesnake and shake it around a little.

Y- Tch.

[Wolfwood clicks his tongue audibly as his face flares hot with embarrassment when Ain calls him out, his head turned away so he won’t see how red his face is, or the way his face has twisted all up into an expression that’s difficult to properly place.]

You’re such a lil shit, yaknow that?

I'm gonna do it!! I'm gonna stick my fingers right in front of its little face until it bites me!!

[Giggles stupidly... squishes his face into the titties a little, you know, for fun and profit. They're cuddling and it looks so heterosexual right now, anyone who came by this oasis to chill out on the other benches and enjoy the sights are going to be so not-offended. It makes Ain feel so sneaky. Like a spy. But gay.

He wraps his arms around Wolfwood's waist and clings to him.]

...I know, haha. Doesn't it make me more fun? Do you want a boring— [partner? boyfriend? no no, those are bad words, uh,] —travelling companion, or do you want a fun one that keeps you on your toes?

C’mon now. If you start doin’ that, I might just kill you myself.

[In spite of his best efforts to stay grumpy, in spite of everything…Wolfwood cracks a smile at Ain’s antics. It’s not hard to see why though. Something about him, and the way he acts, is just as infuriating sometimes as it is contagious. Maybe Ain knows that, and he acts up on purpose to see if he can get a rise out of people. It sure does work for Wolfwood 99% of the time.

And yeah, their asses sure are just out here cuddling on this bench. Ain has his arms around Wolfwood’s waist and he isn’t trying to stop him…which probably says a lot on its own. He just smirks and shakes his head a little, bringing his free hand around to ruffle his hair.

…which, inevitably, turns into his hand lingering, fingers stroking through silver locks.]

I guess not. Most of the people I know are about as interestin’ as dirt, so you make a good point.

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