[Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[winterbolt]

Angelina is a black horse with white markings on her face in this sorry I can't picture her as being any other color-

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[lupusxylem]

[...why has it already come to this. Like, they JUST left the Inn, and Ain is already peacocking for the public. The women are eating it up, of course, completely oblivious to the fact he's a man because he's pulling off the androgynous look so well. Wolfwood, meanwhile, stays propped up in the corner basically ignored, though he doesn't mind that. He's busy staring at Ain and that pretty jewelry on his collarbone, arms folded over his chest.

At least until the store owner suddenly looks at him and asks, quite loudly, if he isn't going to buy something for his lady friend. Don't you think she deserves the finest?

His lip curls, and he makes a face at the guy behind Ain's shoulder that says "Don't push it". Not that he's aware that they're not as expensive as they COULD be...]

You should give 'em to her, if you're gonna use 'er as a window mannequin.

[eidxiety]

[Yeah, Ain does not fucking see this, he's too busy being a model. To be fair, he's damn good at it. Some girls on the way out with their purchases get pulled aside because Ain is like honey your lipstick has a tiny smudge come here, sometimes they ask him where he got his boots ("a little town down east, if you travel that way"), sometimes they ask him about the broody man in the corner and Ain just—]

That's my lover. He's handsome, isn't he?

[And sometimes the girls nod like yeah that's some MEAT right there, and sometimes they pull Ain in and tell him that Wolfwood looks like a bad boy, that man won't provide you with a marriage or a family, you're too pretty to be in with a rugged man like that.

Ain, who has a penis and zero intention of settling down just laughs and says I dunno, he's real sweet and protective, like a bear.

He's not sure how this convinces some people to buy jewellery but he supposes charisma sells. He does not work here though.

How are those negotiations going, Wolfwood? Because Ain is subtly slipping rings onto his fingers when no one is looking.]

[lupusxylem]

[Well, Wolfwood sure wasn't expecting hearing Ain call him his "lover" to make his heart lodge itself comically in his throat, but that sure is what happens. It takes his breath away a little, actually, to the point where he just sort of stands there listless, not even noticing Ain stealing things left and right as the store owner scoffs and says something about how that's "nonsense" and Wolfwood should consider "money no object" when it comes to his ladyfriend.

It makes his teeth grind. He, genuinely, wants to punch this man in the face. He's sure this is how he gets all his customers, by pressuring men and/or women in front of their partners until they feel obligated to buy them something, as opposed to just...he doesn't know. Doing it because they want to? It's not like very many are rich in this day and age, so you're lucky if you've got enough money to stop by the saloon, much less to be buying fancy trinkets.

And contrary to popular belief, it's not like Wolfwood HAS a ton of money to be throwing around. He's a bandit, but he's not rich. The amount he brought with him for this mission wasn't enough to be wasting it, so being put on the spot like this is frustrating.

His gaze narrows.]

Drop your price to about half, and maybe I'll think about it.

[eidxiety]

[Well, as Ain is flitting about, he catches onto this. Wolfwood looks angry... Ugh, he'd rather not see a tough guy fight a jeweller over trinkets. Ain's crow ass has already gotten eight separate rings of varying metals and stones, all of which seem fake now that he glances at the pricetags, but eh. Shiny is shiny. Ain is bird.

He's wearing all of those rings on his fingers, which he hides at his sides while Wolfwood starts a fight. Suddenly Ain is over at Wolfwood's sides, unsubtly shoving his hands into Wolfwood's coat pockets. What he's trying to make look like rummaging for coins is actually him depositing rings in there.]

I want this necklace, [he lies, lyingly,] where did you put our coin, my love?

[And then he pats Wolfwood's coat. Pats his pants pockets. Pats his ass.

Gasps.]

Baby!! Where is our money? Did you drop it? [Gasps again—] Wait!! That little boy bumped into you while we were at the grocer this morning! Did you get pickpocketed?! The sheriff ought to do something about those little weasels!! We need to go find him!

[Play along Wolfwood, do him a solid, he's got like $100 of jewelry in your pockets which isn't a lot in today's dollars but hoo boy—]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood, like seconds from fistfighting this store owner-]

Huh-?

[Oh, he is being felt up. He rises forward on the balls of his feet as Ain pats him all over, pats his ass- hello--

Until he realizes what he's doing. Or, rather, he...doesn't realize he's depositing A LOT of illicit goods into his pockets, but he can tell that he's trying to buy them some kind of excuse to leave. That much he has enough brain cells to rub together to figure out.]

I...shit, maybe?

[He plays along (a little badly, but he's doing his best), pretending to reach around and feel one of his back pockets as well, then reaching into his inner pocket where he knows only his cigarettes are.]

Gonna hafta take a raincheck on the jewels, h-hun. Let's go.

[eidxiety]

Oh, but—

[Ain isn't dumb enough to just leave with the goods around his neck, so he'll stop to take off the necklace and give it back to the jeweler as he watches this like "sucks to suck secure your coinpurse idiot", pouting... Ain solemnly thanks the man for letting him wear it and says they'll be back when they get this issue solved, and oh sir you have a line forming, so sorry.

...

And then when no one is looking on the way out he will swipe a gorgeous necklace made of peridots. This also ends up in Wolfwood's pocket.]

Sorry, sorry. I didn't want you to look like a circus clown in there if you said "no", considering the pressure.

[Wolfwood don't stick your hands in your pockets again because Ain is using you for cargo. Or do, I'm not your dad.]

[lupusxylem]

[Fortunately for both of them, Wolfwood does NOT do that, and instead gladly will leave the shop while they still have the chance to. The store owner isn't going to keep heckling Wolfwood when it's obvious they have no money, when- in reality- Ain just pilfered him for half of his stock just right then and there. It's quite the feat, actually, because not a single person noticed. Not even Wolfwood, though...he has plenty of reasons to be distracted right now, immediately.]

No, uh...s'fine.

[He's still a little bewildered, admittedly. And horny, but that's besides the point-]

I really doubt I got enough cash to get anythin' in there though, sorry to disappoint.

[eidxiety]

Oh? I didn't actually want the necklace. I was lying so that I had an excuse to pretend to dig in your pockets and get us out of there. I like turquoise, it's pretty, but I like peridots and emeralds and rubies more. And I don't like diamonds, at least, not if they're the main piece. I think they're boring on their own. They make cute accents, though!

[Ain is back to clinging to Wolfwood's arm... he'll get his rings back later. :) And that necklace. :) ]

Do you need new clothing while we're out?

[and he just

ROBS someone completely blind as they're literally walking past, twirling the coinpurse around on his finger before just—]

The pattern on the fabric is so cute!

[Onto his belt it goes. What the fuck.]

[lupusxylem]

[..........Ain, really? In front of God and everyone??]

I...probably? You've seen what I wear.

[AKA, the same clothes basically every day, all the time, all tattered and worn. That's basically his life, lbr.]

I dunno how you manage to do that. Like, either you're real brazen, or you've just never been caught...

[lollmao-]

[eidxiety]

If you're casual, no one suspects anything.

[That... is unfortunately true, if you don't act suspicious people don't have reason to doubt you. Do not keep loose objects around Ain, he will fucking take them in half a second without even breathing.]

I see a clothing store ahead. Here, take this, [SHOVING HIS STOLEN MONEY INTO WOLFWOOD'S HANDS,] that way it doesn't look like a woman is buying you stuff.

[Patriarchy and all.]

[lupusxylem]

[AIN-

Wolfwood takes the coin purse because, like, what else is he going to do??? and huffs, tucking it into his inner blazer pocket, not actually getting into his pockets full of rings and shit yet. Thankfully those aren't heavy enough to tip him off but that won't last forever. ]

Fine, fine...

[At least Ain can't easily steal clothing, he thinks. That's something that'd get you caught quicker, so he imagines they'll be actually purchasing things, if they buy anything...with money Ain stole, of course.]

I don't need nothin' fancy, though. Just a jacket like this one...somethin' without holes in it, maybe. That'll do.

[eidxiety]

It's your money, love, [NO IT'S FUCKING NOT] go wild! Get whatever you need to get.

[Pushing Wolfwood into the store... where is the men's section hi his man needs clothes.]

[lupusxylem]

[ITS NOT HIS MONEY- but fine. He is no stranger to theft, and using someone else’s I’ll gotten gains…so whatever. It’s a dog eat dog world and who is he to judge when he, too, is a criminal?

That doesn’t mean he has any more idea of what to even buy, but you know. He’ll just stand here awkwardly in front of the clothing and stare at it. Can’t he just get another jacket that looks exactly like the one he’s wearing-]

Everything here is so damn fancy.

[He mumbles to himself, eyeing a jacket with tassels on it. It’s very cowboy.]

[eidxiety]

[Ain is already flitting off to go grab various jackets of said tasselled style because he thinks they're cute, he thinks Wolfwood would look so adorable in one, and then he comes back holding three of them and sets them in Wolfwood's arms.]

Which one do you like better? I like this black one with the silver buttons on the pockets, personally. I think it matches your style. But I also like this one with the orange detailing over the chest here.

[Squints.]

Actually, I don't like the orange, I lied. Give me that one back. The other one is just plain black, though.

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood is so inept with fashion it’s a good thing Ain is here. He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing ever, so he takes the blazer he recommends, then swaps it for the other one because orange is bad. Ain, please-]

As long as it functions and the pockets ain’t stupid, I don’t care what it looks like.

[He mutters, shrugging off his old jacket and hanging it on something nearby so he can try on the new one. It has that stiffness of not being properly broken in yet that bothers him, but that’s kindof par the course for new duds. Probably why he doesn’t buy them much other than the fact he has no money-]

Ok. How’s it look?

[eidxiety]

Oooh!

[Ain claps his hands together, then struts over after putting back the ugly jacket. Hands smooth over the silver embroidery and the buttons, and then he playfully whaps at the tassels like a cat.]

I like it! It looks fetching on you.

[The store clerk like aww look at the young couple good thing that man's got a lass to keep him fashionable, meanwhile Ain is thinking about how nice Wolfwood's tits are gonna look in this.]

If you leave it open like this... [Tugging at the collar,] you can show off the rosary, and...

[Pinches a titty. :) ]

[lupusxylem]

O-oi…

[Wolfwood gasps a little under his breath at that pinch, causing him to reflexively reach up to take Ain’s hand. He doesn’t realize he’s still holding it until after what he says-]

I kinda prefer the silver anyway. I don’t usually wear a whole bunch’a colors…

[…and then he’ll remember what he’s doing, oops, and let Ain’s hand go.]

[eidxiety]

[If he leaves the jacket open it matches his leather collar too which is another benefit for Ain personally, he is so so so happy about this, but he's not going to say that. It's implied in the way his eyes wander and go back up to Wolfwood's eyes, swinging their intertwined hands and oh okay no more hold hands.]

And here you had decision paralysis, haha. You're handsome! Don't forget to grab your old coat.

[It Has Cargo In It. Also Ain is going to want to wear it at some point because something something Wolfwood's whiskey and cigarette scent. Delicious.

He's moving to go look at the boots now. He wants ones with a higher heel, which like... He does not need to be taller but he needs to steppy. So.]

[lupusxylem]

[It matches…a little too well, actually. And the mirth in Ain’s eyes is hard to miss, much less ignore…he doesn’t know how to feel about the way it makes his heart flutter in his chest, like a bird trapped in a cage.

Handsome…]

Yeah…right.

[He’ll pick it up off the nearby rack he’d hung it on (good thing nobody walked by and accidentally grabbed it, huh), swapping the new coat for the old so he can actually pay for it once they leave. He doesn’t think he needs new shoes, even though he kindof does since his are all beaten up just like his coat, but he’ll wander after Ain to see what he’s looking at regardless.

Much like a man with his lady friend, actually.]

Y’think you could wear those heels in the sand?

[eidxiety]

I have flatter shoes in my bag for travelling. I need new "going out" shoes.

[He travels light, yes, but he can't use his dingy work shoes for stepping on people to make money! That's unsexy! He's currently wearing the old "going out" shoes, which he's swapping for these nicer ones.

Worry about your dick, Wolfwood, you're gonna need to—

Sticks his feet out from the bench he's sitting on and kicks his legs around.]

Do you like them? I like them.

[Gets up

is taller than Wolfwood now

struts back and forth to test the shoes out, as you do.]

[lupusxylem]

[Screams. Screaming-

Now the question is, is Ain going to be thinking about working while he’s with Wolfwood? Sure, he won’t be making money if he’s sucking that dick instead of a stranger’s, but also—

Wolfwood…is not expecting Ain to shoot up taller than he is as he stands, and it causes him to swallow visibly as he watches him walk around to test the shoes out. You don’t often see women taller than their suitors walking around in the wild west, so…uh.

Yeah. Ain is about to turn some heads.]

I…yeah. I like ‘em…

[eidxiety]

[That depends, because money is good but he can get it without dick (he just reaaaaaaally likes dick) (also it makes it easy to steal when the person is unconscious because the dick was so bomb). He could sing, of course, that's quite easy, and it wouldn't get them arrested.

Hmm hmm...]

I'll wear them out, I think.

[Which would be a good way to steal, but they've been making such a damn racket it would be impossible. Clothing is always hard to steal anyway.]

Do you need anything else?

[The entire wild west is about to develop a Tall Woman Fetish, as the world wants from them, but lo and behold it's just Ain—]

[lupusxylem]

[Is there anything else in here he wants? Hm...

He looks over towards the men's section again. Lots of rugged clothing over there. Hems, haws...

Plucks a hat from the rack. It's new, not dissimilar to his current hat, a sort of faded black leather meant to look aged. His own hat is full of things like bullet holes, tears, and frays from age...which he takes off his head, beats over his knee to get the dust off, and plops it on Ain's head, keeping the new one in hand.]

I've been needin' a new hat.

[eidxiety]

[Hat!! Hat for Ain! This is his hat now and Wolfwood is never getting it back, he will wear it for the rest of the day.]

Ooh, I like it. It matches your jacket!

[Pretty... handsome cowboy... Ain is making eyes at this man even though he should not be making eyes at literally anybody right now.

If Wolfwood is done here, they can go pay with their stolen coinpurse, which has more than enough money in it to pay for stuff. Lots of silver dollar coins, enough for them to get lunch if they really want to. Or buy more things. Their crimes are between them and god at this point.]

[lupusxylem]

[Oh, good. He didn't make a big deal out of that. He doesn't have to think about how gay what he just did was-

With his new hat and jacket purchased, and Ain with his old hat and a new pair of shoes, they buy them all by using stolen money- basically getting it for free- and head out. It's not deserved, all this stuff they have, but that isn't stopping them at this point. Wolfwood sure as hell doesn't care, and as long as they can keep a low profile.......it'll be fine.

It's fine.

About as fine as Ain being taller than him is, good god.]

You happy?