[Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[winterbolt]

Angelina is a black horse with white markings on her face in this sorry I can't picture her as being any other color-

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[eidxiety]

Then my big, strong cowboy will just have to protect me!

[Protect him, Wolfwood. Protect him and his massive fucking thighs while he clings to your arm like you're going on a date, even though this is certifiably not a date because why would it be a date—

But out they go if Wolfwood is ready, Ain is going to loop their arms together and try not to think about Why he's doing this, especially when he leans into Wolfwood's side as they go. It's bright and sunny out and theoretically, no one will catcall him while he's clinging to a testosterone-addled meat-slab of a homophobe.

Theoretically.]

[lupusxylem]

[Lord help him, Ain is going to make him act up. Not only dressing like that, but hanging off his arm like he’s his lady friend? Ugh, no, that’s exactly what the people in this town are going to think of them. Which is…theoretically better for keeping it more on the downlow since people will be less likely to care, but…will it matter, when Ain is serving 10 looks and he’s serving like, 8???

If nothing else, people will look at him and be like “lol this guy is WAY out of his league”.

Anyway! Their arms are looped and Wolfwood’s face subtly burns as they exit the inn, still limping slightly as they go. Angelina and Elria are currently at the inn’s stables, their heads sticking out of their little stalls in a way that makes it so they can watch as their owners walk past. Angelina practically screams at Wolfwood as he walks by her like “Boy?? Boy????? You’re with boy????”

He does his best to ignore her. She will not be the only catcaller they get today.]

I’ll let you pick where we head first. I’ll be movin’ slow either way.

[eidxiety]

[Watch as Elria swings her massive neck around to try to nibble on Angelina again... they will stay in today, they will be fine hanging out and resting for a while. At some point a stablehand will come by to clean up after them and replace their food and water, and whoever it is will probably get nibbled on by this massive-ass Clydesdale that Ain cherishes so much. Get loved idiot.

Anyway, he waves to the horses and smiles and then drags Wolfwood off.]

Let's go see what sort of stores they have! If the street gets busy enough by noon, I can sing out there with my guitar and get us some pocket change.

[Something something he will get the pocket change no matter what because he's good at pickpocketing.]

[lupusxylem]

[Funny that Ain says that, because it prompts Wolfwood to smirk and lower his voice an octave, leaning down to whisper against his ear so nobody passing by can hear. It is…maybe a little too close, given the way the words buzz against his skin.]

You’re sayin’ you ain’t gonna just pocket people’s change anyway? No singin’ required?

[eidxiety]

[There's a coy little giggle so the people out of earshot can think to themselves "aww look at the Perfectly Normal Heterosexual Couple", and when Wolfwood is close enough, a mocking, almost affronted gasp.]

Your eyes are sharper than I gave you credit for.

[He clings tighter to Wolfwood's arm, pulling him down an inch or two so Ain can whisper in his ear in return.]

You're brave to spend time around me after that, you know.

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood realizes he may have slipped Ain his hand a bit too early here, but he figures it's fine. A little pickpocketing isn't anything to be super alarmed by, especially in this day and age. Which is exactly how he phrases it, as cool as anything.]

I only saw it the one time, so I figured you had a good reason. Like the guy was bein' an asshole, or short changed you, or somethin'.

[This is a lie: he saw EVERY instance of Ain stealing, he just isn't going to admit to that.]

And anyway, I think everyone would be a liar if they said they haven't swiped somethin' at least once in their lives.

[eidxiety]

Mm, yes, your "odd jobs" and all.

[Ain makes a mental note to watch this one. He thought Wolfwood was oblivious and a little stupid, he's gonna be honest here; seems like his eyes actually work under those glasses.

It takes an unusually sharp person to see the way Ain's hands move when he's doing his coin exchanges or swiping wallets, though. Interesting...]

Don't blow my cover or rat me out, love, I don't want to have to keep you on a short leash.

[He means that literally, and he will let Wolfwood know by subtly pulling his riding crop from his belt, slapping Wolfwood's ass with it, and putting it back.]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood literally jumps when Ain does that, startling as they walk because ???? Ain had used that whip a little on his thighs, but that's when he was super drunk, and not on his ass that he remembers-

And, fucking christ if it doesn't make his cock leap in his pants immediately, even when he's putting the crop away right after. Like, it takes his breath away just long enough for him to forget what he was just saying.]

H-hah...my lips are sealed, s'long as you don't get us both arrested.

[Lol, lmao even]

[eidxiety]

Mm-mm, I'm a good boy!

[Are you? Are you though???

Anyway, off they trot. The strip is expectedly busy, since this is a much bigger settlement and all, and Ain practically bounces over to the various stores. There's clothing and hats and jewelry, food and makeup and supplies...

He's dragging Wolfwood to look at the jewellery first, like a bird. Ooh shiny...]

[lupusxylem]

[Survey says he is, in fact, a very naughty boy. Wolfwood will not survive the winter.

Wolfwood is still reeling after that, his gaze snapping over to the crop bouncing on Ain's hip every so often (people notice it, they just think it's for a horse, which isn't....WRONG...) as they make their way. He ends up quite literally dragged because of it, stumbling to a stop in front of where all that jewelry is being sold. There's a clerk inside hawking his wares, and almost immediately upon noticing Ain, he tries to wave him over, asking if he can try a necklace on the "pretty young thing" so as to be a live demo for the other women trying to decide if they want to buy or not.]

[eidxiety]

[Dragging his cowboy along with him...]

Oh? Sure, sugar, let me just crouch down. Mama only has tall ones.

[He will crouch so he can be decorated, yes please, put things on him so he can weasel them later. His shirt is buttoned up tight and held together with a ribbon neckerchief, but there's no reason he can't wear a necklace over it. It's big and ornate, with heavy turquoise gemstones that rest upon his collarbone. Gaudy... but shiny, and Ain's luxury brain approves.

He will sit there posing by the counter to tempt sales for a bit and chirp out anecdotes to anyone who'll listen. Don't mind him, it's part of how he's gonna weasel this.]

[lupusxylem]

[...why has it already come to this. Like, they JUST left the Inn, and Ain is already peacocking for the public. The women are eating it up, of course, completely oblivious to the fact he's a man because he's pulling off the androgynous look so well. Wolfwood, meanwhile, stays propped up in the corner basically ignored, though he doesn't mind that. He's busy staring at Ain and that pretty jewelry on his collarbone, arms folded over his chest.

At least until the store owner suddenly looks at him and asks, quite loudly, if he isn't going to buy something for his lady friend. Don't you think she deserves the finest?

His lip curls, and he makes a face at the guy behind Ain's shoulder that says "Don't push it". Not that he's aware that they're not as expensive as they COULD be...]

You should give 'em to her, if you're gonna use 'er as a window mannequin.

[eidxiety]

[Yeah, Ain does not fucking see this, he's too busy being a model. To be fair, he's damn good at it. Some girls on the way out with their purchases get pulled aside because Ain is like honey your lipstick has a tiny smudge come here, sometimes they ask him where he got his boots ("a little town down east, if you travel that way"), sometimes they ask him about the broody man in the corner and Ain just—]

That's my lover. He's handsome, isn't he?

[And sometimes the girls nod like yeah that's some MEAT right there, and sometimes they pull Ain in and tell him that Wolfwood looks like a bad boy, that man won't provide you with a marriage or a family, you're too pretty to be in with a rugged man like that.

Ain, who has a penis and zero intention of settling down just laughs and says I dunno, he's real sweet and protective, like a bear.

He's not sure how this convinces some people to buy jewellery but he supposes charisma sells. He does not work here though.

How are those negotiations going, Wolfwood? Because Ain is subtly slipping rings onto his fingers when no one is looking.]

[lupusxylem]

[Well, Wolfwood sure wasn't expecting hearing Ain call him his "lover" to make his heart lodge itself comically in his throat, but that sure is what happens. It takes his breath away a little, actually, to the point where he just sort of stands there listless, not even noticing Ain stealing things left and right as the store owner scoffs and says something about how that's "nonsense" and Wolfwood should consider "money no object" when it comes to his ladyfriend.

It makes his teeth grind. He, genuinely, wants to punch this man in the face. He's sure this is how he gets all his customers, by pressuring men and/or women in front of their partners until they feel obligated to buy them something, as opposed to just...he doesn't know. Doing it because they want to? It's not like very many are rich in this day and age, so you're lucky if you've got enough money to stop by the saloon, much less to be buying fancy trinkets.

And contrary to popular belief, it's not like Wolfwood HAS a ton of money to be throwing around. He's a bandit, but he's not rich. The amount he brought with him for this mission wasn't enough to be wasting it, so being put on the spot like this is frustrating.

His gaze narrows.]

Drop your price to about half, and maybe I'll think about it.

[eidxiety]

[Well, as Ain is flitting about, he catches onto this. Wolfwood looks angry... Ugh, he'd rather not see a tough guy fight a jeweller over trinkets. Ain's crow ass has already gotten eight separate rings of varying metals and stones, all of which seem fake now that he glances at the pricetags, but eh. Shiny is shiny. Ain is bird.

He's wearing all of those rings on his fingers, which he hides at his sides while Wolfwood starts a fight. Suddenly Ain is over at Wolfwood's sides, unsubtly shoving his hands into Wolfwood's coat pockets. What he's trying to make look like rummaging for coins is actually him depositing rings in there.]

I want this necklace, [he lies, lyingly,] where did you put our coin, my love?

[And then he pats Wolfwood's coat. Pats his pants pockets. Pats his ass.

Gasps.]

Baby!! Where is our money? Did you drop it? [Gasps again—] Wait!! That little boy bumped into you while we were at the grocer this morning! Did you get pickpocketed?! The sheriff ought to do something about those little weasels!! We need to go find him!

[Play along Wolfwood, do him a solid, he's got like $100 of jewelry in your pockets which isn't a lot in today's dollars but hoo boy—]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood, like seconds from fistfighting this store owner-]

Huh-?

[Oh, he is being felt up. He rises forward on the balls of his feet as Ain pats him all over, pats his ass- hello--

Until he realizes what he's doing. Or, rather, he...doesn't realize he's depositing A LOT of illicit goods into his pockets, but he can tell that he's trying to buy them some kind of excuse to leave. That much he has enough brain cells to rub together to figure out.]

I...shit, maybe?

[He plays along (a little badly, but he's doing his best), pretending to reach around and feel one of his back pockets as well, then reaching into his inner pocket where he knows only his cigarettes are.]

Gonna hafta take a raincheck on the jewels, h-hun. Let's go.

[eidxiety]

Oh, but—

[Ain isn't dumb enough to just leave with the goods around his neck, so he'll stop to take off the necklace and give it back to the jeweler as he watches this like "sucks to suck secure your coinpurse idiot", pouting... Ain solemnly thanks the man for letting him wear it and says they'll be back when they get this issue solved, and oh sir you have a line forming, so sorry.

...

And then when no one is looking on the way out he will swipe a gorgeous necklace made of peridots. This also ends up in Wolfwood's pocket.]

Sorry, sorry. I didn't want you to look like a circus clown in there if you said "no", considering the pressure.

[Wolfwood don't stick your hands in your pockets again because Ain is using you for cargo. Or do, I'm not your dad.]

[lupusxylem]

[Fortunately for both of them, Wolfwood does NOT do that, and instead gladly will leave the shop while they still have the chance to. The store owner isn't going to keep heckling Wolfwood when it's obvious they have no money, when- in reality- Ain just pilfered him for half of his stock just right then and there. It's quite the feat, actually, because not a single person noticed. Not even Wolfwood, though...he has plenty of reasons to be distracted right now, immediately.]

No, uh...s'fine.

[He's still a little bewildered, admittedly. And horny, but that's besides the point-]

I really doubt I got enough cash to get anythin' in there though, sorry to disappoint.

[eidxiety]

Oh? I didn't actually want the necklace. I was lying so that I had an excuse to pretend to dig in your pockets and get us out of there. I like turquoise, it's pretty, but I like peridots and emeralds and rubies more. And I don't like diamonds, at least, not if they're the main piece. I think they're boring on their own. They make cute accents, though!

[Ain is back to clinging to Wolfwood's arm... he'll get his rings back later. :) And that necklace. :) ]

Do you need new clothing while we're out?

[and he just

ROBS someone completely blind as they're literally walking past, twirling the coinpurse around on his finger before just—]

The pattern on the fabric is so cute!

[Onto his belt it goes. What the fuck.]

[lupusxylem]

[..........Ain, really? In front of God and everyone??]

I...probably? You've seen what I wear.

[AKA, the same clothes basically every day, all the time, all tattered and worn. That's basically his life, lbr.]

I dunno how you manage to do that. Like, either you're real brazen, or you've just never been caught...

[lollmao-]

[eidxiety]

If you're casual, no one suspects anything.

[That... is unfortunately true, if you don't act suspicious people don't have reason to doubt you. Do not keep loose objects around Ain, he will fucking take them in half a second without even breathing.]

I see a clothing store ahead. Here, take this, [SHOVING HIS STOLEN MONEY INTO WOLFWOOD'S HANDS,] that way it doesn't look like a woman is buying you stuff.

[Patriarchy and all.]

[lupusxylem]

[AIN-

Wolfwood takes the coin purse because, like, what else is he going to do??? and huffs, tucking it into his inner blazer pocket, not actually getting into his pockets full of rings and shit yet. Thankfully those aren't heavy enough to tip him off but that won't last forever. ]

Fine, fine...

[At least Ain can't easily steal clothing, he thinks. That's something that'd get you caught quicker, so he imagines they'll be actually purchasing things, if they buy anything...with money Ain stole, of course.]

I don't need nothin' fancy, though. Just a jacket like this one...somethin' without holes in it, maybe. That'll do.

[eidxiety]

It's your money, love, [NO IT'S FUCKING NOT] go wild! Get whatever you need to get.

[Pushing Wolfwood into the store... where is the men's section hi his man needs clothes.]

[lupusxylem]

[ITS NOT HIS MONEY- but fine. He is no stranger to theft, and using someone else’s I’ll gotten gains…so whatever. It’s a dog eat dog world and who is he to judge when he, too, is a criminal?

That doesn’t mean he has any more idea of what to even buy, but you know. He’ll just stand here awkwardly in front of the clothing and stare at it. Can’t he just get another jacket that looks exactly like the one he’s wearing-]

Everything here is so damn fancy.

[He mumbles to himself, eyeing a jacket with tassels on it. It’s very cowboy.]

[eidxiety]

[Ain is already flitting off to go grab various jackets of said tasselled style because he thinks they're cute, he thinks Wolfwood would look so adorable in one, and then he comes back holding three of them and sets them in Wolfwood's arms.]

Which one do you like better? I like this black one with the silver buttons on the pockets, personally. I think it matches your style. But I also like this one with the orange detailing over the chest here.

[Squints.]

Actually, I don't like the orange, I lied. Give me that one back. The other one is just plain black, though.