dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

I bet the mountains themselves are real pretty. I've never gotten to go. I tend to stick near where the towns are, but...

[He hums, thoughtful, as he leans back into Wolfwood. He won't stop either horse from eating the blossoms because there are no spikes but my god if he catches y'all slippin—]

I think there's a mountain town somewhere up there, if the map I have is correct. I bet it's cute! And I bet it's really rough when it snows.

[The mountains do not care if you're in a desert. It is now a Cold Desert and you will fucking suffer.]

A mountain town, huh. If it does snow there, I don't think I'd mind it. I'd prefer freezin' my ass off to bein' hot.

[At least you can wrap up when it gets cold. You can only remove so many layers when you get hot.

Anyway Angelina WILL snack on the blossoms since she was denied the cactus, thanks. She's behaving for now...but if Elria slips, so will she.

Also, Jesus, Ain. You're leaning into him so much. It's making it hard for Wolfwood to forget that they're pressed up against each other like they are. He has to just......not think about it too hard. It's fine.]

[Wolfwood is a backrest though :/ ]

Me too. The sun is good and nice, but I'd like a breeze to blow through my hair that doesn't make me want to die.

[Hot breezes... are not fun. Like thanks for that bestie.]

I don't know how long I'd be able to stay. [More because of the Crime stuff and not because he's like, not enthralled with the idea of just being a hermit in the fucking mountains.] But it seems nice to visit. I've heard that mountains have hot springs!

[He wants to go to a hot spring :( ]

So why don'tcha go sometime? If you're already wanderin', ain't like nothin' can stop you.

[Wolfwood, in contrast, still has a job he has to do so he can't spend too much of his time slacking off. This he considers relevant since he's with his target, he is getting his guard down...so it's fine. It's not really slacking off in that regard.]

Plus it's prolly like, deserted up there. You wouldn't be bothered by as many people as down in this town.

[Wolfwood is "doing his job" and Ain is happily chirping about how much he wants to see the world while not actually seeing said world.

The fence line comes into view finally, and the mountains are still so far away. Ain pulls right up to the edge of the fence, turning Elria slightly to the side so that he can see more clearly.]

Do you see how far away they are? It's probably another thousand miles. [Probably half of that, actually, but Ain isn't good at judging distances that large.] I'd have to get rations and a wagon... Just 'cause she's bred to be a draft horse, doesn't mean it'll be an easy trip.

[Honestly, she's literally bred for the job, she'll probably just be like okei and do it.]

There are a few towns between there and here, and maybe I wouldn't need the wagon, but I dunno. It's a lot of planning... It's a big journey. I've only ever gone on a bunch of little ones.

[Wolfwood, continuing to forget his job entails bringing Ain in and not encouraging him to run off to the mountains which are thousands of miles away-]

So? If you wanna do somethin', you gotta just do it. "I've only ever done small trips" ain't an excuse. Otherwise you'd never go on that first really long trip, you feel me?

[It wouldn't be easy, yeah, but it sounds like Ain makes decent enough money whoring himself out that he should be fine. He could keep doing that on his trip too, so it's not like he'd run out of money unless the towns were completely devoid of people.]

[Wolfwood sweetie why are you encouraging the target to fucking LEAVE????]

Hm... Haha, I guess so. You're wiser than you look, aren't you?

[You're right Wolfwood! He should go into the mountains and get lost and never be brought back :) Not like Wolfwood's gang isn't gonna try to follow after at some point or anything like that.]

I'll think about it at the next town, then! [Wheels around, gives Wolfwood a lil cheek kiss.] Thanks, love.

[He doesn't know :( he's gay and has no braincells left.]

Uh-

[Wolfwood starts to retort, like wait uh he didn't mean like NOW, but then Ain is kissing his cheek and oops he's been short circuited. You've broken your straight boy, Ain.]

H-hang on a sec. When are you plannin' on goin' to the next town anyway? Didn't you just get to this one?

Mm... tomorrow? Haha...

[Oh no his straight boy! Anyway.]

...I don't stick around for long. Neither do you, it sounds like. Looks like we're gonna be two ships passing in the night, doesn't it?

[Sorry Wolfwood, your gay boy has to leave.]

I'd be heading thataway, [and he points off west, you know, toward the mountains but not reaaaaaaaally 'cause there's another town out there he was going to stop at, but it's On The Way,] or at least, that's the plan. Mm... I could probably stick around for another day or two, but no more than that. I don't have a permanent residence. I'm shacked up in an abandoned shed right now.

[Uhhh no. Nooo no, no that isn't going to work. He can't have Ain running off, he needs to stay in town! Fuck, what did he have to go and say that for?]

Oh, uh. Sure...that makes sense.

[Think, use that stupid meat brain of yours.]

But uh, actually...I might be headed in the same direction, yaknow? Coincidentally.

[Smooth]

[...smooth, yeah, that's what they call that. Ain giggles, steering Elria forward to walk along the outer ring of the pasture for a while. It's nice and grassy over here, mostly because it seems like no one who takes their horses over here goes out this far, at least not for very long. There are yucca, and more cacti, and a whole shitton of bugs.

Ain thinks he sees a tarantula hawk. Eugh. Let's not piss that off.]

Oh? [His tone betrays that he's sort of Onto Wolfwood, but not in the way he should be. He thinks his straight boy is just trying to follow after for innocent reasons.] When are you leaving, baby?

[Is there a way he can answer this without sounding like a complete freak? Probably not, but he's already dug the hole too deep, so he may as well pitch himself face first into it. Angelina, meanwhile, is still happily trotting along at Elria's side because her master being stupid means she gets to hang out with her new friend more.]

Probl'y tomorrow. [SMOOTH] Or the next day. We'll see.

[Wolfwood honey you look like a pining teenage boy like this. You are so so so cute. Ain can't keep this man's wallet if he's gonna wind up keeping the man though, hm...]

Should I wait for you? Are you gonna keep me all safe from those pesky thieves on the road?

[Ain, YOU are the pesky thief.]

......maybe.

[??????]

That depends. What's in it for me?

[Maybe, he doesn't know.

Free servicing, perhaps-]

[Hums a little tune as they ride along... thinking, thinking (he's not actually thinking).]

Well, I dunno, Mr. Straight Boy~. Normally, I'd offer to keep you warm on those lonely, long nights on the road, but I'm not so sure you'd accept! You only like women, don't you?

[He's going to goad Wolfwood like this for the Rest of their time together, however long or short that is.]

It's such a shame~.

[God damn it Ain...

Wolfwood huffs behind him as Ain continues to steer Elria forward, because there's really no retort he can come up with other than "Yeah you're right". Because he does only like women.]

Well, sure. [Suuure] But I doubt any of the women in this town would wanna sleep with me. 'Specially not after you've been gossipin' with 'em.

Just the girls at the brothel. You might try your luck with the Mayor's daughter. I heard she's being real picky about suitors...

[Haha. Ha. Wolfwood is an outlaw, ain't no way the mayor would accept that, but it's a funny thought. Ain thinks Wolfwood's just an oddball who can't catch a break doing his "odd jobs", though.]

So you're settling? Well, that's fine, too. I guess I'll pay you with physical favours, if you want them. Maybe even with your favourite position if you do a real good job.

...sure, yeah. We'll see.

[Yes yes yes that's definitely what he wants. He can't believe he's managed to make this work-

hang on]

So you're leavin' tomorrow, then? I'll follow after you to make sure you don't get jumped on the road, or whatever.

[Dumbass.]

Probably. Tomorrow morning... before noon, definitely, since it'll be difficult to motivate myself to leave after it gets too hot.

[Which means his morning ritual of ripping his posters down is uh... well... he'll burn that bridge when they reach it like 15 hours from now.]

My saviour~. He's gonna keep me safe from all the horrors on the roads~. Lalala!

[Small warning: Ain Will sing the whole journey, so good luck.]

Pfft. Oh yeah, I almost forgot you were a little songbird.

[He will complain at first because he has a reputation to uphold...then he will realize he really, really likes it. He'll then fantasize about Ain singing him to sleep. If the mountains really are a thousand miles away or whatever Ain said, won't they have to camp inbetween here and the next town?

Hm...

Angelina, while Wolfwood is distracted staring at the back of Ain's head, suddenly leans in and bites Wolfwood on the leg, causing him to whip around and shove at her head.]

Oy, getoff-!!

[No. She sees your sins >:/]

[They'll have to camp between here and the next town, and then between that town and the town after that... it's a long adventure. Many short adventures in between to make up the long one overall. It'll be fun, lots of gay sex happens on long journeys—

Angelina homphs, and Ain just starts laughing, slapping his hand over his mouth like "oh oops shouldn't be doing that".]

What was that for, I wonder? [No seriously Angelina why you nom.] She really does bite...

She's an asshole, that's what.

[Angelina snorts, stomping the ground. Then, she walks a little forward so she can nibble at the ends of Elria's mane because she's too short to reach her ears.

No, Wolfwood, your horse is just gay and knows you're also gay and being stupid about it u_u]

Should we head on back? Gotta make sure we're packed if we're goin' on a trip.

[It has gotten a bit later...they've been out here for a couple hours already, somehow.]

[Ain finds it amazing that these two will just nibble on each other while they fucking walk. How do you do this... for why do you do this?]

I have all of my stuff on me, but you can pack, haha... but we should actually get food, shouldn't we? It's going to be dinnertime by the time we get back.

[He's going to steer Elria back to the other side of the pasture now. Ange will just have to nibble and keep up.]

Unless you want to eat alone and go do your thing~. I can keep myself entertained.

[She will do exactly this, you cannot stop her. She is a horse that is an agent of chaos.]

Mmmh. I guesso. Does the saloon have any kind of food that's fittin' to eat?

[Then again, he probably shouldn't be too picky. All he's eaten...literally all day has been those nuts they had this morning. Huh.

What does that say about him-]

[Noncommittal shrug...]

Sure, if you like subpar mashed potatoes and overcooked steak. I like that little place and all, but no one goes there for the food. Everyone's there for the liquor.

[To be fair, it's good liquor!]

There's a little restaurant that sells heartier food, though. Good steak, veggies, the sort. We can try that place.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject