dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[He doesn't know :( he's gay and has no braincells left.]

Uh-

[Wolfwood starts to retort, like wait uh he didn't mean like NOW, but then Ain is kissing his cheek and oops he's been short circuited. You've broken your straight boy, Ain.]

H-hang on a sec. When are you plannin' on goin' to the next town anyway? Didn't you just get to this one?

Mm... tomorrow? Haha...

[Oh no his straight boy! Anyway.]

...I don't stick around for long. Neither do you, it sounds like. Looks like we're gonna be two ships passing in the night, doesn't it?

[Sorry Wolfwood, your gay boy has to leave.]

I'd be heading thataway, [and he points off west, you know, toward the mountains but not reaaaaaaaally 'cause there's another town out there he was going to stop at, but it's On The Way,] or at least, that's the plan. Mm... I could probably stick around for another day or two, but no more than that. I don't have a permanent residence. I'm shacked up in an abandoned shed right now.

[Uhhh no. Nooo no, no that isn't going to work. He can't have Ain running off, he needs to stay in town! Fuck, what did he have to go and say that for?]

Oh, uh. Sure...that makes sense.

[Think, use that stupid meat brain of yours.]

But uh, actually...I might be headed in the same direction, yaknow? Coincidentally.

[Smooth]

[...smooth, yeah, that's what they call that. Ain giggles, steering Elria forward to walk along the outer ring of the pasture for a while. It's nice and grassy over here, mostly because it seems like no one who takes their horses over here goes out this far, at least not for very long. There are yucca, and more cacti, and a whole shitton of bugs.

Ain thinks he sees a tarantula hawk. Eugh. Let's not piss that off.]

Oh? [His tone betrays that he's sort of Onto Wolfwood, but not in the way he should be. He thinks his straight boy is just trying to follow after for innocent reasons.] When are you leaving, baby?

[Is there a way he can answer this without sounding like a complete freak? Probably not, but he's already dug the hole too deep, so he may as well pitch himself face first into it. Angelina, meanwhile, is still happily trotting along at Elria's side because her master being stupid means she gets to hang out with her new friend more.]

Probl'y tomorrow. [SMOOTH] Or the next day. We'll see.

[Wolfwood honey you look like a pining teenage boy like this. You are so so so cute. Ain can't keep this man's wallet if he's gonna wind up keeping the man though, hm...]

Should I wait for you? Are you gonna keep me all safe from those pesky thieves on the road?

[Ain, YOU are the pesky thief.]

......maybe.

[??????]

That depends. What's in it for me?

[Maybe, he doesn't know.

Free servicing, perhaps-]

[Hums a little tune as they ride along... thinking, thinking (he's not actually thinking).]

Well, I dunno, Mr. Straight Boy~. Normally, I'd offer to keep you warm on those lonely, long nights on the road, but I'm not so sure you'd accept! You only like women, don't you?

[He's going to goad Wolfwood like this for the Rest of their time together, however long or short that is.]

It's such a shame~.

[God damn it Ain...

Wolfwood huffs behind him as Ain continues to steer Elria forward, because there's really no retort he can come up with other than "Yeah you're right". Because he does only like women.]

Well, sure. [Suuure] But I doubt any of the women in this town would wanna sleep with me. 'Specially not after you've been gossipin' with 'em.

Just the girls at the brothel. You might try your luck with the Mayor's daughter. I heard she's being real picky about suitors...

[Haha. Ha. Wolfwood is an outlaw, ain't no way the mayor would accept that, but it's a funny thought. Ain thinks Wolfwood's just an oddball who can't catch a break doing his "odd jobs", though.]

So you're settling? Well, that's fine, too. I guess I'll pay you with physical favours, if you want them. Maybe even with your favourite position if you do a real good job.

...sure, yeah. We'll see.

[Yes yes yes that's definitely what he wants. He can't believe he's managed to make this work-

hang on]

So you're leavin' tomorrow, then? I'll follow after you to make sure you don't get jumped on the road, or whatever.

[Dumbass.]

Probably. Tomorrow morning... before noon, definitely, since it'll be difficult to motivate myself to leave after it gets too hot.

[Which means his morning ritual of ripping his posters down is uh... well... he'll burn that bridge when they reach it like 15 hours from now.]

My saviour~. He's gonna keep me safe from all the horrors on the roads~. Lalala!

[Small warning: Ain Will sing the whole journey, so good luck.]

Pfft. Oh yeah, I almost forgot you were a little songbird.

[He will complain at first because he has a reputation to uphold...then he will realize he really, really likes it. He'll then fantasize about Ain singing him to sleep. If the mountains really are a thousand miles away or whatever Ain said, won't they have to camp inbetween here and the next town?

Hm...

Angelina, while Wolfwood is distracted staring at the back of Ain's head, suddenly leans in and bites Wolfwood on the leg, causing him to whip around and shove at her head.]

Oy, getoff-!!

[No. She sees your sins >:/]

[They'll have to camp between here and the next town, and then between that town and the town after that... it's a long adventure. Many short adventures in between to make up the long one overall. It'll be fun, lots of gay sex happens on long journeys—

Angelina homphs, and Ain just starts laughing, slapping his hand over his mouth like "oh oops shouldn't be doing that".]

What was that for, I wonder? [No seriously Angelina why you nom.] She really does bite...

She's an asshole, that's what.

[Angelina snorts, stomping the ground. Then, she walks a little forward so she can nibble at the ends of Elria's mane because she's too short to reach her ears.

No, Wolfwood, your horse is just gay and knows you're also gay and being stupid about it u_u]

Should we head on back? Gotta make sure we're packed if we're goin' on a trip.

[It has gotten a bit later...they've been out here for a couple hours already, somehow.]

[Ain finds it amazing that these two will just nibble on each other while they fucking walk. How do you do this... for why do you do this?]

I have all of my stuff on me, but you can pack, haha... but we should actually get food, shouldn't we? It's going to be dinnertime by the time we get back.

[He's going to steer Elria back to the other side of the pasture now. Ange will just have to nibble and keep up.]

Unless you want to eat alone and go do your thing~. I can keep myself entertained.

[She will do exactly this, you cannot stop her. She is a horse that is an agent of chaos.]

Mmmh. I guesso. Does the saloon have any kind of food that's fittin' to eat?

[Then again, he probably shouldn't be too picky. All he's eaten...literally all day has been those nuts they had this morning. Huh.

What does that say about him-]

[Noncommittal shrug...]

Sure, if you like subpar mashed potatoes and overcooked steak. I like that little place and all, but no one goes there for the food. Everyone's there for the liquor.

[To be fair, it's good liquor!]

There's a little restaurant that sells heartier food, though. Good steak, veggies, the sort. We can try that place.

[HMMMM...]

...I guess we could go there.

[As acquaintances. Obviously.]

Better than eatin' just nuts.

[Better for YOU maybe.]

Angelina seemed to like the hay in the stables at the inn though. Is it far from there, or would it be too far of a walk?

Oh? Is she a gourmet? [Or is Wolfwood walking from the inn a convenient excuse not to be seen in public with whatever gender Ain is presenting as today? Can't accuse them of being on a date if they come from separate locations, you know.] Haha, it's not that far. Putting an inn away from a restaurant loses money, don't you think? Not that this little town is too big either way.

[He hums. Down the pasture they go, until they reach that gate, and then Ain hops down to open it and usher the horses through before he springs back onto Elria.

...]

I take it you wanna get down and steer your own horse? Can't be seen riding on the back of the saddle of someone who prefers to get bent over every night, right?

[do you prefer to get bent over though Ain, because like,

you have stepped on this man and threatened to top him last night.]

[Hahaha what? Nooo why would you think that...

Wolfwood is doing a piss poor job of covering for himself, and at this point it's hard to tell if he's doing is on purpose or subconsciously. Either way, he is relieved that Ain doesn't question him on why on earth he'd want to do that, though something tells him in just the coy way he responds that he's probably suspicious either way...

Oh, right, yeah he should. Probably do that. His ass is going numb from sitting up on this barrel of a horse for so long.]

Yeah...probably not.

[He slides off of her (and stumbles when he lands), giving Elria a little pat before he walks over and climbs his way up onto Angelina. Meanwhile, Angelina immediately scoots back over to stand next to Elria like :)]

I didn't mind comin' out here, by the way. It was actually pretty nice.

[Heterosexual horse owners will be like "aww look at those two horses they're best friends :) we love a family :) wowe" and meanwhile Ain's gay ass is out here like "aww they're GIRLFRIENDS!!!" but he thinks if he calls the horses gay that Wolfwood will flip out. So!

The horses are friends :) historians will say they were best friends et cetera. Toward town they go, then, while the horses bump into each other the whole way. It's a little hard to steer like this but hey. All good.]

Oh? I'm glad, haha! The cacti are pretty when they bloom. And I bet the mountains have a bunch of pretty flowers!!

[Ain likes flowers.

Ain lives in the wrong place to see lots of flowers.]

[Yeah sorry to tell you Ain, this is definitely the worst place you could have chosen to live in that case...but whatever floats his boat, Wolfwood supposes. He's not the hugest fan of the heat and the sand, but he's here too. Sometimes you take what you can get in this world, because actually moving someplace more favorable is never an easy task. Ergo, the mountains.]

Y'think? Wouldn't the snow just kill 'em all, though?

[He asks as they pull up towards the Inn, where they presumably will break off for a moment so Wolfwood can awkwardly catch up on foot while Ain takes Elria the rest of the way to the restaurant.]

They regrow???

[Wolfwood there's this wild thing about plants

they usually come back.]

Well, whatever. [You're a lil dumb but he likes that in a man.] Here, this is your stop. The restaurant is down the road back where we came from, turn right down the alleyway over there, [pointing,] and you'll find it. Be seeing you~.

[Unless Wolfwood decides to bail, which Ain won't blame him for, but like. He's getting food either way, headed there now to park Elria in front of the trough and let her eat More Stuff.]

[Sorry Ain, the heterosexual man you have chosen to spend your time with is also stupid. Like, he genuinely just stares at the back of Ain's head for a moment as he says that, like he isn't quite sure what he said wrong.

He'll get it later, when thoughts of boy aren't clouding his brain and making him even more stupid. For right now, he gives a noncommittal grunt of acknowledgement as he stops Angelina by the Inn, sliding off her back so he can put her in the stable.

Ain and Elria, meanwhile, will hear Angelina sadly whinny after them like :( where going

Sorry Angelina, Wolfwood's self loathing and homophobia means you have to stay here. No hanging out with the girlies for you tonight, unfortunately. He doesn't end up bailing on Ain though, miraculously. He takes a moment at the Inn to drop off his shit and freshen up before heading back out just as the sun sets, walking all the way to the restaurant with his boots jingling as he goes.

So, where's Ain? Did he wait outside for him, or did he go on inside?]

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