dachsbuns | [Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

Well you got the right idea. You should do whatever you want. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

[Says the guy who has a boss telling him what to do, but you know. He'll even lift his glass to that before knocking back another swig of his beer. It is also rich coming from somebody who conforms so strongly to societal norms that it's hilariously bad.

Maybe if he tells it to Ain enough, he'll be able to convince himself, too? Just a thought.]

This is fuckin' good, by the way. Guess you get to preserve your rep after all.

I toooold you.

[Wolfwood is doing a bad job at arresting this man, but that's okay, it means that Wolfwood isn't conforming to "the man" (kind of). It also means more silly crime time for Ain later, like tomorrow morning when he starts lifting people's coinpurses without even batting an eye. Sillymode :)

He eats very fast, though. He's wolfed this down, despite the conversation. The only thing that remains are a few bits of the side mashed potatoes and his wine, which he's trying not to chug. He'll get through it eventually.]

I tend to know restaurants, since I don't cook or anything. Each town I go to, I scope out the food that's good and that's bad, and go from there. If you stick with me into the next town we're at, I'll lead us to good places, trust me.

[Wolfwood has nearly finished too, mostly having eaten his steak first because the man loves his meats.]

If that's the case, what do you do when you're on the road with no towns for miles? You can't just survive on trail mix the whole way.

[Is...is this what Ain does. Oh no.]

You gotta learn how to have real campfire food. Yaknow, like stew and shit. Eatin' under the stars is the best way to have a meal too, trust me.

[He's thinking he might have to introduce Ain to said campfire food because he is too big of a man to eat like a bird the entire trip.]

Oh! I eat a lot of trail mix, yes, but also dried fruits and jerkies and the sorts. You know, rations. I'm also good at hunting, so I know how to roast something over a campfire. It's just, um... it's not... like this.

[It's not fucking seasoned but you do what you gotta do on the road etc. Not that Ain knows how to work a stove.]

I've never made stew.

[Ain may be stupid.]

I'll show you one night. You won't wanna eat on the road any other way after, trust me.

[It is more work, but Wolfwood considers it worth it after a long day trekking in the heat.]

Kinda surprised you go huntin' though. I woulda' thought you'd be too soft to kill animals.

No offense.

[Om nom potatoes]

[ok jacksepticeye calm down]

Aww, I don't like it, it makes me sad... but I can do it. I like the little guys a lot! But I also like to not starve if the jerky runs out.

[Which, while Ain is very good at planning... sometimes shit happens.]

I don't kill big things that I wouldn't be able to take with me. It's more like little bunnies. Which makes it worse! But it's okay, because if I didn't eat the little bunny, a bird would.

[But Ain, you Are bird.]

If it helps at all, I don't mind doin' it for you.

[Wolfwood, known killer of things. Not JUST animals!]

I'll just need t'grab some stuff before we leave to make sure I can make the stew. I have the equipment on me already in my pack, so you ain't gotta worry about that part.

[He slugs back the last dregs of his beer as he says that, feeling a pleasant buzz from it. He could get properly drunk, but he's actually trying to pace himself for once.]

You said you're already packed?

For the most part. Since it's getting later now, I'll just stop by the market in the morning for some extras, but... yeah, I'm mostly packed. I don't really leave stuff around wherever I'm staying. Which, like I said, is just an abandoned shack.

[Ain broke in. Don't worry about it.]

If you're going to cook for me, I really do have nothing to worry about, haha!

[And he's just gonna... drink his wine all the way down, speaking of.]

...actually, I never asked. Why are you stayin' in an abandoned shack and not the Inn?

[Like yeah HE knows Ain is a wanted criminal but also, this isn't something he's supposed to know, so he's curious as to how he might answer.]

[Yeah Wolfwood, Ain is trying to keep that on the down-low, sheesh. But yeah, that is the reason; when those posters go up in the morning, the people who happened to glance at them are more likely to immediately spot him if he's, you know, coming out of the goddamn fucking inn and not hiding for a while and tearing the posters down.]

'Cause it's free! [There you go.] Haha, and it's easier to afford cute clothes if I don't spend money on boarding somewhere.

...hm. Fair enough.

[Yeah no he knows your sins. He sees through your crimes.

That said...Wolfwood glances across the room as they're finishing up their meal, looking at the tables of other patrons and what they've ordered. Something has caught his eye, and he's just on the edge of tipsy enough to let impulse win.

As the waitress comes back, he asks her to bring a menu back, prompting her to leave and come back with one. He pushes it across the table at Ain.]

Here. Pick out onna' these desserts before we go.

Huh? Oh... haha, alright.

[Glancing through it... hmm...]

Juneberry pie, I think. It sounds yummy!

No questions asked, huh?

[He shakes his head a little. But the waitress heard that, so she steps away from the table to bring back a slice of the aforementioned pie just a few moments later.]

No questions asked!

[Luckily, the pie is pre-made, so it's not going to take eight years to get here. Ain is rather immediately digging in, looking bright and happy and smiley after the first bite.

It's like someone put the sun indoors suddenly. Ain is just beaming.]

[And that, whether Wolfwood would ever admit to it or not, is exactly what he was looking for. He wanted to see that smile, and he got it. A smile so bright it lights up the room and makes him feel like he's burning up inside.

He doesn't even realize he's started to smile too, unconsciously, as he props his head up in one hand with his elbow on the table edge.]

Well? Is it good?

[He asks, despite having eyes.]

[Wolfwood is indulging in sin (enjoying another man's smile while he eats pie).

Ain nods, not saying anything at first because his fork is in his mouth. He looks like this made his entire day, even if it's something simple. "Just" food. It's "just" a pie.]

It'sch good!!

[Happy Ain noises... that pie is going to be gone in a whole three minutes but he will be smiling the entire time.]

[He sure is man. Who's gonna stop him? This is between him and God right now.]

Good. Might as well treat yourself before goin' on a journey.

[Wolfwood you didn't get any pie-]

Consider it thanks for takin' me to a place that didn't end up being shitty after all.

[Snortlaughs...]

I told you, I have good taste. You just have to stick around long enough to see it.

[No, no, he needs to steal Wolfwood's stuff and bail when they get to the next town, he can't keep this man with him that's dangerous. Don't do this. Just because his boobs are nice does not mean he gets to stick around!!

Ain cleans off his plate completely, scraping the sides of his fork across the porcelain to get any stray berry juice off of it. It goes right into his face immediately.

Hungry boy. :) ]

Thank you though, Nick. You're very sweet~.

[Once again, Wolfwood is flustering and pretending to have no reaction as he picks up the check, pulling out his coinpurse as he does.]

Yeah yeah. I'm just a man of my word, s'all.

[He pulls out a few silver coins to place on the table before moving to stand.]

C'mon, let's get you back to your shack or whatever.

[He's...realizing he doesn't even know where it is, which may be by design on Ain's part.]

[That's exactly it. It's abandoned for a reason, Wolfwood, and it looks like no one was hankering to reclaim it at all. Ain's shack now. :) And while ordinarily he'd be like "um no leave me alone"... he and Wolfwood are setting out tomorrow, soooo he supposes he'll be honest. This is his shithole he lives in etc.

He's getting up, surprised that Wolfwood is paying but not ungrateful. Out they go, where Ain grabs Elria and takes her lead and sort of just... decides to walk with her.]

Aww, you mean you're not going to let me snuggle up to you in your room? [He teases.] Ah, it's fine. It's this way, a bit of a walk. Hope you like watching the sunset as you go.

[Oh, if only it were that easy. The only reason they managed it last time was because Wolfwood was too drunk to know better, or to stop himself from acting on those base urges. Now...he's a bit more flighty, despite how badly he does want it deep down.

Once they're away from town, though, in a secluded desert camping together where no one else could possibly see or hear them? All bets are fucking off, this man is going to go off the string and he has no idea about it yet.

For now, he takes the teasing...mostly in stride, rubbing the back of his neck with a free hand while he focuses on staring at Elria as they walk instead of Ain.]

Yeah....s'fine. I'm used to walkin'.

[He, too, is a wanderer after all.]

[Good! Because otherwise it's gonna be a man on the back of a "woman's" horse and they're gonna get catcalled and whistled at by the few people that are out right now. Walking is easier, and it's not like walking your horse through town when you're talking to someone without one is weird, or just walking in general. Gotta stretch those leggies.]

Am I stopping by to get you in the morning?

You can. Unless you trust me to make it back to your shack by myself.

[He probably wouldn't get lost, but there's also a 98% chance that Angelina would get distracted. That horse has ADHD, he's pretty sure.]

Though, might be a better idea to start off from the Inn now that I think about it. Angelina's gonna realize we're travelin' with another horse- [Elria, specifically.] -and lose her god damn mind.

[Makes sense... Ain has to go shopping anyway, so picking him up at the little shack seems ridiculous. And by shopping he means wallet liftin' and probably pocketing jerky and things in bags by being a little too smart. He is extremely deft with his hands, a thing Wolfwood will find out later :)]

Haha, okay, that works for me. I'll get you in the morning, then we'll go to the markets for extra supplies. I do have a sleeping bag and a tent, though you might want another one, if you don't already have one.

[Sometimes being out directly under the stars is a little, uhh, too cold. You know how it is. And sometimes it also means mosquitos.]

Do you see up the hill there, where that building is? That's the shack.

[There's literally a hole in the goddamn wall no wonder no one wants this place. Repairing it is labour.]

That sure is a shack alright.

[Like damn, bitch. You live like this?]

I got one, yeah. But I’ll pack extra just in case.

[You never know what you might encounter on the road, after all. Bad weather, wild animals, bandits. Just to name a few. And they’ll more than likely get at least one of these things if not more.]

If we had enough money, we could buy a wagon and hitch the horses to it, but I dunno about you, I ain’t makin “family with a wagon and several oxen” kinda money.

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