[Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[winterbolt]

Angelina is a black horse with white markings on her face in this sorry I can't picture her as being any other color-

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[lupusxylem]

[This conversation is going dangerous fucking places. Wolfwood is starting to feel the hornies come back and he's not even drunk, and that's what scares him the most.

He's panicking, he has to do something to get out of this conversation--]

Wanna go for a ride?

[He suddenly blurts as he moves to stand up, as if that wouldn't just make this worse because of what he says next.]

Could both ride Elria. She's big enough. Angelina's gonna wanna go too fast, we could just...walk around the pasture and sightsee.

[eidxiety]

[Oh baby he'll ride you any day, name your time place and preferred body part—

Oh, right, the horses.]

Sure. There's lots of pretty stuff the closer you get to the mountains, not that we're really that close.

[They've still got many hundred miles to wander out that way, if they chose to go there. Anyway, Ain springs easily to his feet and plops Wolfwood's hat back onto his head for the second time. When he then turns around and whistles, Elria's ears swivel around and she comes bounding over, stopping short of both boys and tossing her head. Look at her she's a model et cetera.]

Hop on the back there, unless you wanna steer.

[Does Wolfwood want to feel Ain pressed to his back or does Wolfwood want Ain's ass pressed to his front? There is danger in either position.]

[lupusxylem]

[Right out of the frying pan and into the fire, huh? Nice going, Wolfwood.

Angelina is going to be jealous that they're not riding her, like? Hello??? But she will get over it when she realizes she can trot around more easily without a bunch of weight on her back. She will be annoying and walk very close to them as much as possible though, sorry guys she's starting to take a liking to Elria idk what to tell you the horses are probably lesbians.

Now Wolfwood is presented with a conundrum. Which danger does he think he can handle more easily?]

Uh. Well...don'tcha think you should be steerin' her? She's your horse and all.

[eidxiety]

I do, but I didn't know if you wanted to go somewhere specific. C'mon, up on the back. You can use the stirrups to haul yourself up there like a step-stool. I'll spot you to make sure you don't fall off.

[The horses are definitely lesbians.]

[lupusxylem]

[They sure are, Angelina is standing a bit too close to Elria for it to be anything less lbr.

Anyway, Wolfwood has committed to this, so he'll climb up into the saddle ahead of Ain, careful to shift his weight all the way to the back of it so there's room for Ain to sit. Only thing is, Elria is huge, and he's never ridden a horse this tall before. It's definitely a good thing Ain is there to make sure he doesn't eat shit, because good god.]

Where did you get a horse this big?

[eidxiety]

[She is a very large horse. Ain pulls himself up rather easily, throwing himself into the saddle without kicking Wolfwood along the way. Victory.]

A couple years ago, an older guy at a town I was travelling through said his horses had a foal, and he wasn't prepared to take care of her, since he was well into retirement. I guess he wasn't paying attention? [To the other horses, Ain means.] I didn't have a horse at the time, and I offered to buy the foal when she was a little older. He said that I'd be doing him a favour, and that he'd get his son to help train her for me.

[Ain gently digs his heels into Elria's sides, and she starts trotting off through the fields. Where are we going father, on an adventure??]

...I also slept with his son. He was in his mid-forties and I was probably nineteen or twenty.

[You know those Daddies he mentioned, yeah.]

[lupusxylem]

[Well! That sure is one way to get a horse.]

That sure is one way to get a horse.

[Wolfwood chuckles under his breath, realizing as they start walking that he doesn’t know where to put his hands. Hm.

He’ll eventually, tentatively, place them on Ain’s hips. You know so he doesn’t fall off and die.]

Y’seem to take good care of her though. Giving her to you was a good decision on that old man’s part.

[eidxiety]

[Look... Ain is wearing pants today, so it's fine.

...

He is definitely pushing his ass back into Wolfwood's hips but it's FINE.]

I like animals. I wanted a dog, but I travel too much to give the dog a good quality of life, and Elria gets herself into enough trouble by eating whatever she finds. Just one animal for now, I guess. That's gonna have to be how it is.

[He's steering them toward a patch of buffelgrass and cacti, wary of the fact that Elria is Inevitably going to try to bite one.]

I try to be a good owner. I guess it's kind of sad that I had to train her to kill, but there are worse fates.

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood is damn lucky he managed somehow to not pop a boner while Ain was talking about horny stuff earlier, otherwise this would be a problem. At least, he hasn’t yet. He is safe, for now.

Their pace is leisurely while Angelina is nosy and trots behind them, with Wolfwood clicking his tongue at her when he sees her eyeing the cacti because he isn’t sure he trusts her around it either.]

I’ve kinda wanted a dog too. I’d get a big black cattle dog, if I had one. You’re right though, it’d be hard to have one with a lot of travelin’ under your belt. Even a dog that loves to run wouldn’t wanna walk miles on end with you.

[eidxiety]

Yeah, exactly. Plus it's one more mouth to feed. Ah, well, I'll live. Wandering is more fun.

[One day, Ain, you're going to settle down and be like wow... I was wild... I was a wild child... don't arrest me officer I'm a changed man.]

I don't have to pay to own property, so I think I'm winning. I can buy as many pretty clothes as I want and sell off anything that I'm tired of~.

[Ain has been known to cycle through clothes relatively fast since he's outside all the time, the wear and tear gets to be a lot. Some of that fabric will get converted to bandages if he's on the road and gets badly injured, which also has happened... this is why he's strapped at all moments.]

[lupusxylem]

Yeah, I ain’t sure I’d want my own property either. It’s hard enough to get it in these parts, and then you’d be spending your life savings on a hunk of dirt that don’t even have a building to live in on it.

[They’re in western times. If you want a house, you build it, or you hire someone to build it. Not much is pre built in this day and age, so if you want to buy something already there you’d be spending even more money. More than Wolfwood thinks he’s seen in his lifetime, or ever will see.

Trit trot, they continue forward. Angelina has never been this close to cactus before. Wolfwood clicks his tongue again when she starts sneaking towards them.]

Oi. Leave it, Ange.

[eidxiety]

Y'aaaaaaaall!! [Ain squeaks,] You can't eat cacti! They're not food!

[Well, technically they are, but is he going to explain technicalities to two horses? No, they don't care, they are not listening. They are two horses. Ain is steering Elria away from the saguaros as they head up a slight incline, leaning back against Wolfwood's chest like he's a chair. He could be, if he wanted to be, Ain would not say no.]

You act like we don't feed you. I know both of us feed you because of how much hay is missing from the troughs whenever either of us are stopped somewhere!

[Elria indignantly tosses her head. She is Not fat she is Baby!!]

[lupusxylem]

[Oh. That “Ya’ll”….cute…

While Wolfwood is swooning, I mean distracted, Angelina snorts. You’re not her dad, Ain, you can’t tell her what to do.

…she looks at Elria with big eyes. She’s the bigger and probably older one. Are we eating the cacti-]

[eidxiety]

[We are eating the cacti my brethren.

Trot trot UNHINGES JAW—]

ELRIA!!!! Not food!!!

[lupusxylem]

[Wow okay good to know their horses are assholes-]

OI!! Angelina!! Don’t eat that-!

[No father. They will eat cactus. Angelina is going to copy Elria and happily walk right over to the saguaro to take a big ol bite out of the top of it.

And it IS edible. It’s juicy and tasty!! The needles that immediately stab her velvet nose are less tasty as she rears back with a startled whinny.]

[eidxiety]

[Ain is scrambling down from Elria's back just as she also takes a fuckin bite. She, however, is immune to the cactus needles jabbing her in the nose.

What she is not immune to is Ain sharply yanking her bridle and steering her away, then lowering her head so he can fuss over the few that actually got into her nose. Ohhh my god. He is also unafraid to just dig in her mouth and pull out any other needles from there, which is probably why she thinks she can do this. Most of those needles have been pulverized by her teeth, but it's not like Ain wants her to have one stuck in her throat?? These two are lucky they ate from a part of the cactus where the needles weren't fully grown in yet.

He's just. Sighing. Turning to Angelina and doing the exact same thing. Open your mouth why are you both dogs.]

[lupusxylem]

Careful, she might-

[Wolfwood starts when he sees Ain going for Angelina's mouth, watching the telltale way her ears swivel backwards. He's holding onto Elria's reigns while he's on the ground, trying to keep her head angled away from the cactus because she probably WILL eat more if not watched.

...only to watch as Angelina huffs, but allows Ain to pull the needles from her nose and mouth, even though she'll jerk her head away whenever he pulls one out.]

...bite.

[eidxiety]

Hm? Does she bite?

[Ain is the horse whisperer you see. Angelina is young and unruly, but it's fine, he isn't having any issues with her! He's just waiting until she's willing to open her mouth again and taking the needles out that way. The ones in her nose, too.

Good as new. Kisses her nose.

Wipes his fucking slobbery-ass hand off on a handkerchief.]

What have we learned here today? [He says, dramatically, to two horses.] Don't eat the cacti. They have spikes. Just because you see birds doing it, doesn't mean it's for horses!

[And he is getting back on his horse now thank you.]

[lupusxylem]

[...what the hell, Angelina? You would have bitten every single one of his fingers off for trying that, and you let Ain just stick his whole hands into your mouth, no problem?

What the fuck.

Wolfwood watches, a little bewildered, as Angelina sticks her tongue out a couple times to get rid of the rest of that stinging prickly feeling on it. She wants more cactus...but not enough to get more needles in her mouth. Sad. :(]

I'm surprised she didn't eat your hands.

[eidxiety]

Does she usually? Haha, I dunno, I've always been really good with animals, so maybe that's why?

[Taking the reins... he's going to steer Elria through the saguaros and make sure she doesn't go munchin' again. Up that little incline they go, up until the ground flattens out. There's a stretch of grass before them that they can go through, and Ain steers them out that way. The fence line on the opposite end of the acreage hasn't come into view yet...

But the cacti up here are in bloom, all pinks and reds and smelling sweet, and isn't that a lovely sight out here where everything is mostly just browns and oranges?]

[lupusxylem]

If she's feelin' feisty, yeah. Or if she thinks you're tryin' to stop her from doin' somethin' she wants to do.

[She is much like a toddler in that way.

...anyway will Ain stop her if she tries to eat one of the blossoms off the cacti-]

...it is real pretty out here. I'm used to just seein' flat land everywhere.

[eidxiety]

I bet the mountains themselves are real pretty. I've never gotten to go. I tend to stick near where the towns are, but...

[He hums, thoughtful, as he leans back into Wolfwood. He won't stop either horse from eating the blossoms because there are no spikes but my god if he catches y'all slippin—]

I think there's a mountain town somewhere up there, if the map I have is correct. I bet it's cute! And I bet it's really rough when it snows.

[The mountains do not care if you're in a desert. It is now a Cold Desert and you will fucking suffer.]

[lupusxylem]

A mountain town, huh. If it does snow there, I don't think I'd mind it. I'd prefer freezin' my ass off to bein' hot.

[At least you can wrap up when it gets cold. You can only remove so many layers when you get hot.

Anyway Angelina WILL snack on the blossoms since she was denied the cactus, thanks. She's behaving for now...but if Elria slips, so will she.

Also, Jesus, Ain. You're leaning into him so much. It's making it hard for Wolfwood to forget that they're pressed up against each other like they are. He has to just......not think about it too hard. It's fine.]

[eidxiety]

[Wolfwood is a backrest though :/ ]

Me too. The sun is good and nice, but I'd like a breeze to blow through my hair that doesn't make me want to die.

[Hot breezes... are not fun. Like thanks for that bestie.]

I don't know how long I'd be able to stay. [More because of the Crime stuff and not because he's like, not enthralled with the idea of just being a hermit in the fucking mountains.] But it seems nice to visit. I've heard that mountains have hot springs!

[He wants to go to a hot spring :( ]

[lupusxylem]

So why don'tcha go sometime? If you're already wanderin', ain't like nothin' can stop you.

[Wolfwood, in contrast, still has a job he has to do so he can't spend too much of his time slacking off. This he considers relevant since he's with his target, he is getting his guard down...so it's fine. It's not really slacking off in that regard.]

Plus it's prolly like, deserted up there. You wouldn't be bothered by as many people as down in this town.