[Closed] @eidxiety🐎🌹

[winterbolt]

Angelina is a black horse with white markings on her face in this sorry I can't picture her as being any other color-

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[eidxiety]

Ooh. I was wondering about all the scars last night.

[Ain is pretending not to notice the way Wolfwood thumbs over that collar, but trust him, he notices. He has taken Notes.]

You're a big, strong guy, so I figured you had to have been doing something dangerous to get like that. I'm not really fazed by it, though. Scars can be pretty sexy.

[lupusxylem]

So that's what you're into, huh.

[Though he thinks it's less that and more that Ain just likes men in general. Can't imagine why, men are awful.]

I've had some women tell me it's "unbecoming", or whatever.

[eidxiety]

Aww, I'm sure they would've liked you more if you actually knew how to get them off.

[Wow!!!].

I'm into lots of things. But I like big, strong men who can pick me up, burly guys, daddies... [Do people in the old west even know about daddy kink well whatever who cares, I'm not googling that,] ...obedient pets and men who want to be stepped on more than they like to admit.

[so

most men. You like Most Men.]

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood, sweating profusely because he is a man who wants to get stepped on and can't just admit to himself that letting over control to someone else for once was freeing and he wants to feel that feeling again??

He's fine, he's doing fine.]

How did you, uh. Figure out you liked...you know. Men.

[eidxiety]

[Hmmmmmmm what a suspicious question to ask!

Ain props his elbow up on his knee and leans his chin in his palm. He's watching Wolfwood like a hawk, grinning softly. Oh honey.]

Mm... I think I always knew? I mean... I was raised in a really religious household. My mother wanted me to settle down with a wife and have children, and that thought really, really put me off ever since I was little. I always thought it was because girls have cooties or whatever, but then I turned maybe... fourteen? Fifteen-ish. And I remember seeing this cowboy in the roads kissing his wife, and I thought, "Gee, I want to kiss a cowboy too!"

The rest is sort of history. I bailed on my mom shortly after and struck out on my own, not entirely for the "I want my son to be straight" reasons either. I dunno. Sometimes you just figure things out.

[lupusxylem]

Damn. That musta' sucked.

[He wasn't raised, but at least the church that did raise him didn't pressure him or make him feel inadequate. They didn't...do much other than keep him alive, granted, but he figures that much is better than what Ain had to put up with.

Wolfwood takes another slow drag of his cigarette, exhaling the smoke up into the tree branches above them.]

And you're...happy? Like this? Even though most of the rest of the world hates you?

[Sorry the homphobia isn't fully gone yet and he has chronic foot-in-mouth disease.]

[eidxiety]

Who's gonna be happy with me if not me?

[Ain's answer is given simply, with a shrug and a glance toward the horizon. He's barely smoked this cigarette down, too busy talking and letting it go to waste. He did say he wasn't much of a smoker.

Still, he'll take a drag himself and exhale a ring of smoke, watching it float into the sky before he talks again.]

There was a long while after I left home where I wondered if it was all worth it, and if I shouldn't try to change just to make my life easier. I was real cagey for a long time. Got caught up trying to change things that wouldn't change at all. What actually needed to change was my perceptions of myself and my weird parental hangups that my mom left me with. Lo and behold, it doesn't matter if people hate you, as long as you love yourself enough to make up for it.

[lupusxylem]

[And what if you don't love yourself, he thinks, but decides not to say out loud.

In contrast, Wolfwood has nearly entirely smoked his own cig to the butt, holding what little bit of it is left inbetween his fingers.]

I guess that makes sense when you put it that way. I always thought gay people were just indulging in debauchery and sin or whatever, but you're just...a pretty normal guy, even though you can be kindof annoying.

[eidxiety]

Oh, don't get me wrong, we are absolutely indulging in debauchery and sin, and if my mother is correct and we're all going to Hell, I imagine it's going to be quite the party.

[Think positive thoughts! They won't burn for all eternity because they'll be too busy sucking each other's cocks! It'll be great.]

Besides, me being annoying is a charm point. You haven't abandoned me yet!

[lupusxylem]

[You know what?

Ain's completely frank response actually gets a bark of laughter out of Wolfwood. It's a startled sort of laugh, granted, but he's laughing nonetheless.]

Yaknow, I'm not sure I've ever met somebody as confident in themselves as you are. You're insane.

[But it's said with such a weird fondness, can you really be offended, truly-]

[eidxiety]

Maybe so! Between you and me, cowboy, I'm actually a severely anxious person, but I'm coping the only way I know how, which is telling myself I'm doing everything right and not worrying too hard about what people think.

[Except for the parts where his horse is trained to KILL PEOPLE but that's just self-defense probably.]

Most people really don't care. The world's okay, actually. You just have to look at it through a certain lens.

[and also be the part that's making the world not okay, Ain, you STEAL THINGS.]

[lupusxylem]

Not everybody has the strength to be as optimistic as you, yaknow.

[He mutters this while taking off his cowboy hat and plopping it back onto Ain's head, snuffing the last smolders of his cigarette underneath his heel.]

Even if it is a copin' mechanism.

[Then he'll lean over just slightly so he can see Ain underneath the wide brim.]

But. Maybe I'll think about givin' it a chance, in my free time.

[eidxiety]

[The cowboy hat is plopped, and Ain giggles as he holds onto the brim, having to hold it up like he was earlier. The cigarette has long been smoked down to the butt, discarded somewhere nearby because littering is cool and fun. He's too focused on Wolfwood to think of the repercussions, really.]

You've got a pretty smile, you know. A lot of people would kill to see it, and I'm not just saying that because you paid me last night. I do think you're attractive, and I do think a grin and a wink goes a long way.

[lupusxylem]

Well now. That's mighty kind of ya to say.

[He tips up the brim of the hat with the edge of his thumb.]

I get a lotta folks tellin' me "you should smile more!", so I think you're the first person who has that hasn't made me wanna tear my hair out.

[eidxiety]

Pretty boys like you are a real sight for sore eyes. Haha, I'm glad you don't think I'm faking this! I have a bit of a reputation, but behind that, I still reaaaaally like looking at guys like you.

[And stealing their hats. And their wallets. It's fine.

Speaking of boys Ain really likes... He fishes around in his pocket for that charm, leans forward — the hat sort of falls onto his face, but that's fine — and affixes the cross to Wolfwood's collar.

There. Now he's a Catholic man. A man of God. Owned by Christ and not some whore.]

I almost forgot that, haha... Speaking of things I like.

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood isn't entirely sure what Ain is doing at first as he rummages around in his pocket and pulls out something he can't see at first, reaching for him with it. He tenses, just briefly, until he realizes he's putting a charm on that collar (his heart stopped for a second, thinking it was a clip to a leash), reaching his hand up to brush over the metal charm with his fingertips.

Speaking of things I like.]

This's....for me?

[eidxiety]

Uh huh. I thought it might look better with a little charm on it. Less conspicuous that way, too. I would've already had it done last night, but I wasn't thinking you'd actually accept the offer.

[Chinhands...]

It looks good. Do you like it?

[lupusxylem]

[Wolfwood ponders, genuinely, how he wants to answer for a few moments. His fingers are still worrying the charm, brushing over it and committing its texture to memory.]

...yeah. I do.

[......

After a pause, he ducks briefly underneath the hat, because it hides them both from the world even though there's nobody else here but the horses, so he can brush his lips against Ain's cheek.

By the time he's drawing back, he's fucking. Panicking, internally.]

Thanks.

[whydidhedothatwhatthefuck]

[eidxiety]

[Oh no he's CUTE. This is so fucked up. What is he cute for, this is illegal it's not allowed ugh—

Ain just giggles, holding onto the hat with one hand and twirling his braid with the other. Hehehe hiiiii Wolfwood.]

You're welcome, sweet thing.

[Ugh ugh ugh.]

Like I said yesterday... You're real cute when you're honest.

[lupusxylem]

Honest...?

[He blusters, quickly glancing away the moment he realizes he got a little closer just then than he should have, shrugging one shoulder. He doesn't even have his hat to hide behind, but the sunglasses will make do.]

Just....just thanked ya. Ain't nothin' special 'bout that.

[eidxiety]

Thanked me... With a kiss on the cheek? Come now.

[Not to call you out Wolfwood but

Calls you out.]

You fluster easily. It makes me want to tease you. I hope you know what you do to a boy, looking all sweet like that.

[lupusxylem]

[Don't look at him too hard Ain, Wolfwood is having a crisis of self. Next thing you know you're going to bat your lashes at him and he is going to burst into tears.

Instead of doing that, he manages to preserve his dignity for the time being by pulling out another cigarette, cramming it into his mouth and lighting it.]

I really don't know what I do, actually. Ain't like any boys've ever told me.

[Puffs anxiously]

[eidxiety]

Many things. Do you want the romantic or the horny ones first?

[Ain don't be a freak it's the middle of the day—]

[lupusxylem]

Uh.

[Ain-]

Surprise me.

[eidxiety]

[Snort-laughs.]

Romantic first. Let's see... A good looking guy like you blushing like that? It makes me want to see how you'd react to dancing under the starlight, or cuddling up underneath them when you're on a long journey. Makes me want to pinch your cheeks and sit in your lap and tell you that you're real precious when you let the tough guy act drop.

[He hums, thoughtful, because it also makes him want to rob Wolfwood blind and leave him devastated, mostly because Ain has not yet figured out how not to be a fucking sociopath. It's the power thing. The control thing. He calls Wolfwood out for not giving up his own control, but if Ain's not in control of a situation, he'll blow up.

Doing real well out here aren't we. Who hurt you (it was his mom and siblings that's why he's like this, they taught him that if he's not in control he'll never be happy and the irony has not hit him yet).]

The horny things are... I really want to push you down onto your knees and see how flustered you get when you've got a dick in your mouth, a boot between your legs, and a leash tugging at your neck. I wanna see you begging to be railed and ridden, and maybe one day, I'll let you have your way with me, 'cause I do like being underneath big guys who could crush me like a bug.

I just also think it's cute when the big guy isn't on top, haha.